


Debt of Honor

by emmykay



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: AU, Accidental Voyeurism, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Regency, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Regency Romance, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-24 09:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 41,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmykay/pseuds/emmykay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I expect I shall get shackled to a mean-tempered, long-in-the-tooth virago."  Gloomily, Sakaeguchi said, "And I will be grateful, for that is better than not.  That is how things are.  Even if they could be different - who among us would say anything, Abe?"  Sakaeguchi's voice was soft, his hands held open in front of him.</p><p>Regency romance between Abe and Sakaeguchi.</p><p>Content warnings will appear for individual chapters and added to the tags as the story goes on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Morning Visit

**Author's Note:**

> For whythemadman. They know why.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abe and Sakaeguchi meet to discuss their prospects at the future Hanai ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this idea for a commission by whythemadman and they produced [ this lovely piece.](http://whythemadman.tumblr.com/post/101098629429/commission-done-for-mmmbuttery-commission-info#notes)
> 
> [This one](http://whythemadman.tumblr.com/post/101724585919/regency-au-but-mostly-just-wanted-to-draw#notes) was a lovely extra.

Sakaeguchi was looking over some papers in his study, or rather, the room he was borrowing from his brother-in-law to use as a study, when he heard a knock on the door.

Before he could reply "Come in," in strode Abe Takaya, who managed to look rumpled even in crisply tailored driving clothes of the most recent fashion. Abe came up to the edge of the desk, his presence filling the small room. There wasn't much space in the study for much beyond an oversize desk and two simple chairs. Sakaeguchi had felt that his brother-in-law lending him the room had caused the housekeeper to lose some linen storage.

Sakaeguchi stood up, aware that his own dress was very much that of a country parson in his shirtsleeves and vest. "Good morning, Abe."

A young maid hurried in the dark wood-paneled room after the unexpected guest. "Pardon, sir - but - Mister Abe -"

"It's all right, Sakura, we all know Mister Abe is always in a tear." Sakaeguchi said, gently, "If you could get us some tea?"

"Yes, sir." She bobbed and hurried out the door.

"Some morning," Abe replied, taking off his top hat and stripping his gloves off his hands. He laid them both upon Sakaeguchi's desk, on top of the papers, and then threw himself into guest chair opposite Sakaeguchi, thumping the heels of his Hessians on top of the worn oak surface.

"My desk!" Sakaeguchi exclaimed.

"My boots aren't going to cause any more hurt to this surface," Abe countered.

"This belonged to my great - grandfather - " Sakaeguchi looked at the multitude of marks, dings and scratches on the old wood and he had to agree. As a practical point, Abe was right. Still, Sakaeguchi wasn't above making Abe feel even a little guilty.

Which apparently worked, because Abe withdrew his feet, even while he was saying, "You say that every time."

"Why this morning - ?" Sakaeguchi racked his brains for the reason for his old friend's unusual shortness. Abe was often impatient it was true, but rarely upon greeting. Then it struck. "Are you attending the coming out ball for the Hanai twins?"

The displeased expression on Abe's face was enough to tell Sakaeguchi all he needed to know. He couldn't help teasing. "Ah, well, if not for Hanai's single status, you would be the attraction for all the matching-making mamas, my old friend."

A reluctant smile touched Abe's well-shaped mouth. "That is Hanai's burden to bear." He snorted. "Regardless, someone with the whiff of trade about them is hardly an attraction."

"You? You've got a fortune that would be the envy of any title." Sakaeguchi's eyes cut toward Abe, his voice merry. "Surely you'll find some titled spitfire with an empty coffer, enough to make it all worthwhile. Or perhaps you prefer a more demure maid? One who turns her eyes down and curtseys at your every word?" Sakaeguchi nodded, fingers rubbing his chin. "Aye. I can see how that would appeal to you."

Abe's lips turned up. "And you, old friend? What are you waiting for?"

Sakaeguchi sighed. "Well, I can't ask for much, given my circumstances. All I have is a bloodline, which is remarkable for only two things: the length of its history and the emptiness of its pockets. That is not enough for most, I would say nearly all, potential mates. It was a near miracle my sister landed a husband. I fear Yukihiro will have to take to highway banditry to make a living."

"How is your brother?"

"Oh, fine, fine," Sakaeguchi said. "His studies seem to be progressing well, but it appears he could do without the attraction of sport."

"Sport is indeed a difficult distraction." A reminiscent look entered both their expression. Their university days had been filled with any number of things beyond their studies. Then Abe sat up. "And you? Are you attending the Hanai sisters' coming out?"

Sakaeguchi nodded. "I can't hope for much, but perhaps I shall find my life's helpmeet there."

"I can see her now - a quiet heiress with a plump purse and an indulgent papa - "

"I expect I shall get shackled to a mean-tempered, long-in-the-tooth virago." Gloomily, Sakaeguchi said, "And I will be grateful, for that is better than not."

"Why not?"

"There is the family name to carry on," Sakaeguchi said. "We both need to be mindful of our place as eldest sons."

Abe snorted. "What's what younger brothers are for. Let them be of use for once."

"These days, it's necessary to have a wife before having a family," Sakaeguchi said, "and I've always wanted a family."

"There is that." Abe nodded, gentler. 

"That is how things are. Even if they could be different - who among us would say anything, Abe?" Sakaeguchi's voice was soft, his hands held open in front of him.

They looked at each other, Abe's dark grey eyes meeting and holding Sakaeguchi's light brown eyes. The air between them seemed to hold its breath. "Sakaeguchi - "

The knock on the door broke the fragile tension. "Pardon." Sakura entered, squeezed past Abe, and placed the tea tray on the desk, bobbing her head on the way out. 

"Thank you," Sakaeguchi called after her. He placed a porcelain cup and saucer in front of Abe and poured.

"Who else will be there?" Abe asked.

After a moment, Sakaeguchi said, "Tajima, Oki, Suyama, Mizutani, Izumi, Hanai, of course. Almost everyone from school. Except Nishihiro."

"Why not Nishihiro?"

"He's gone to the Continent."

"That's a shame. It would have been nice to catch up with him."

"Mihashi will be there," Sakaeguchi noted.

"Mihashi? Wonder how married life is treating him?"

They continued to chat, Abe's attendance at various Royal Society meetings, the latest, largest bets at Brook's, and society in general, until the clock in the hall chimed the hour. Abe gathered up his things and went to the door, accompanied by Sakaeguchi.

After putting on his hat and gloves, Abe said, "I'll see you next week, then. We'll see if I can avoid the clutches of these marriage-minded mamas."

"A se'nnight." Sakaeguchi smiled. "I will have to have my best on, to see if I can catch an unsuspecting fish in my penniless net." 

"Twould be better to avoid having to cast at all," Abe returned, grimly.

Sakaeguchi opened the door, teasing, "I wish you, sir, good luck in finding a mate. Or perhaps should I wish your future mate good luck in persuading you."

"If only I could offer everything that person could want," Abe said. The comment felt less comedic than perhaps was intended.

Before Abe could walk out, Sakaeguchi caught his arm. "Believe you me, in you is everything a person could desire."

Abe looked down at the familiar hand on his broadcloth covered bicep, and then back up at Sakaeguchi's open expression. After a quick squeeze of the hand, he pulled back. He tipped his hat and went out the door.

Sakaeguchi slowly closed the door behind him, having watched Abe's broad back climb aboard his carriage and drive away.

A week, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No research was done for this chapter. I had thought this would be a quick something to better illustrate the above commission.  hahah
> 
> That said, Sakura should probably be a man, given the financial and social standing of the household Sakaeguchi is staying with. I do like her, so she stays.
> 
> Future chapters will be better researched.


	2. Dance Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look back at school days at Nishiura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this, I had no idea what I would be releasing, in me or anybody else.
> 
> And there's ART! ( **screaming!** )
> 
> [Whythemadman](http://whythemadman.tumblr.com/post/103041546099/blame-mmmbuttery) and [phixuscarus.](http://phixuscarus.tumblr.com/post/103054312350/blame-emmy-l-outfit-loosely-based-on-this)

"Mihashi," Sakaeguchi called down the hall in the great old house where all of Nishiura's oldest students had their rooms. "Mihaashiii!" There was no reply. Mihashi would always reply if he could. Sakaeguchi scratched his head. He didn't know what had happened to Mihashi since dinner. He put his hands on his hips. If they didn't finish up their Latin and Greek translations tonight, Mister Shiga was bound to have their hides. More than that, Miss Momoe, their headmistress, would.

"Oi, Sakaeguchi - have you seen Mihashi?" asked Tajima, almost bouncing with a need to express himself.

Sakaeguchi shook his head. When they had arrived at Nishiura, a well-considered boarding school for first sons of gentry, second sons of lower nobility and the like, Mihashi had been nervous at every new sound and startled at every new sight. It hadn't taken long to understand that it was due to his upbringing, first very sheltered by his parents and then raised in the spectacularly strict household of his paternal grandfather. 

In the next few years, Mihashi had indeed grown more confident and well-spoken. So much so that Sakaeguchi found this most recent disappearance unusual. "Miss Momoe said something about us attending an assembly ball, and then he disappeared."

"Uh. I wonder why," Tajima muttered.

"Do you think," Sakaeguchi asked, "he was scared of attending the dance?"

"He's a cracking bowler, why wouldn't he like dancing?" Tajima replied.

Sakaeguchi opened his mouth to suggest that cricket and dancing may not have exactly the same elements, but just shut it instead. Explaining how one physical activity may or may not be like another to a regular out and outer like Tajima probably wouldn't fly. Instead, he said, "Let's ask Abe."

"Why would we ask Abe?" Tajima said. "Sometimes they don't get on with each other real well. Strictly speaking."

"They've been roommates since Mihashi came to Nishiura," Sakaeguchi said. A familiar black-haired head walking by caught the corner of his eye. "Ho! Abe - "

The broad-shouldered boy turned, a roll of paper covered with minute calculations tucked under his arm. "What?" he said shortly.

"Have you seen Mihashi?"

"No."

Sakaeguchi looked up at him expectantly. 

Abe sighed, his shoulders dropping in defeat. "What's the matter now?"

Sakaeguchi explained. 

Abe said, "All right. Let's go." He, Sakaeguchi and Tajima went down the hallway. They picked up Hanai on the way, Tajima chattering excitedly at the tallest of the senior Nishiuras. They walked into Abe's and Mihashi's room, where Abe dropped his notes onto his desk. 

"Abe - " Tajima said, "If this is a way to get us all in your room, ya coulda just asked - "

Sakaeguchi could hear Abe's teeth grinding as well as Hanai's eye roll. Abe went to Mihashi's closed wardrobe and opened it, revealing a startled, pale-faced boy sitting on the bottom.

Tajima grabbed Abe and pulled him out of the way. "Mihashi! It's me, Tajima! Come on out! I won't let Abe get you!"

"What - " Abe said, startled. 

"You're going scare him," Hanai said. "Let Tajima take care of this."

"I am not going to scare him - " Abe protested, loudly, as Mihashi started at the noise.

"How did you find out about that, anyway?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"I saw him go in there when his grandfather came visiting that first year he was here."

"I knew his grandfather was strict - " Hanai said, shaking his head.

"It's more about the expectations his grandfather has about Mihashi in society," Sakaeguchi said, carefully. He had considered many of his classmates' quirks of personality over the years he had known them.

"How?" Abe asked.

"Well, he wasn't acknowledged by his grandfather until he was nearly ten," Sakaeguchi said.

"His parents eloped - " Hanai said.

"But they did marry," Sakaeguchi countered.

"By an anvil priest," Hanai argued.

"Still legal," Sakaeguchi declared, pointedly. "Anyway, his grandfather expected him to know everything a gentleman should know right then, without considering the education he would have had without the kind of money a gentleman's education costs."

Abe frowned, crossing his arms over his front. Out of all of the students at Nishiura, Sakaeguchi knew that Abe had counted the cost of a gentleman's education when one wasn't born a gentleman; it wasn't all in golden sovereigns.

"Mihashi didn't know lots of things when his grandfather took him away from his parents and tried to raise him himself. When his grandfather couldn't mold him the way he wanted, Mihashi was sent here. Some people might have thought it a blessing, being taken away from one's parents and taught elsewhere," Sakaeguchi concluded, "but I wouldn't have wanted that."

Mihashi came out of the wardrobe, chuckling over something Tajima said. 

"How is it, Mihashi?" Hanai asked.

"It's great," Tajima grinned.

"Good, thank you," Mihashi said.

"What?" Hanai asked, looking suspiciously at Tajima.

"It's not a big deal, Hanai." Big brown eyes turned toward Hanai, full of sparkling confidence. "You're going to teach Mihashi to dance."

Sakaeguchi was not the only person in the room slack-jawed with surprise.

* * *

Suyama, once alerted to the lessons, pointed out that more than two people were necessary for many, if not all of the dances. Ultimately, it was all of the senior Nishiura boys who participated. 

Hanai, as their unofficial leader, spoke to Miss Momoe about the room they were to use, but it was Sakaeguchi who got the students together. It was too late to engage a dance master, but most of the students had had some prior tutelage.

They met in the large, slightly dusty, rarely-used, somewhat chilly, unfurnished room that had once been the assembly room of an entire conclave of local politicians. Their self-professed levels of proficiency seemed to fall out to Oki, Mizutani, Sakaeguchi and Izumi being merely competent. Hanai, Tajima and Suyama admitted to being better than competent. Mihashi and Nishihiro said very little. Abe, uncharacteristically, remained silent. 

Concerned, Sakaeguchi thought that there needed to be some women, or some of the boys to act as 'women partners' to better watch and understand what was happening on the dance floor. Sakaeguchi volunteered to wear a sheet around his waist as an improvised skirt. Tajima thought it great fun to wear a skirt, however makeshift. Suyama and Mizutani also cheerfully volunteered. Izumi, with some pressure, also agreed. 

Suyama proved to be the most deft at handling his train, flipping the end of the cotton sheet over his wrist with great aplomb. Sakaeguchi always suspected Suyama had a touch of the dandy in him.

Hanai suggested that someone step out to watch how the others danced, knowing that the reel only needed six or eight dancers. Suyama volunteered to also assist in the teaching. Abe volunteered to step out as well, saying that he "didn't dance." Mizutani was needed to provide the music, so it was decided that he and Sakaeguchi would not participate. Everyone else needed the practice or was required to provide an example.

Abe was still quiet when he was put into the line. 

That was when Sakaeguchi begin to wonder. Did Abe really not know how to dance?

He thought he was mistaken. Surely, out of all the things Abe's large family wealth had paid for - tutors, clothes, trips, equipment, horses, school fees - a dance master when he was a child would not have been out of order. Not if they wanted him to marry into the gentry. Sakaeguchi resolved to keep an eye out.

Sakaeguchi said to Mihashi, "'Tis the hostess who will indicate who is at the top of the room, and then you just follow that couple's steps. You understand?" He announced, "Mr. Hanai and Mr. Tajima, if you please."

Hanai and Tajima walked to the center of the figure. Hanai bowed and Tajima, cheekily, curtseyed and then they joined hands. They started out with the scotch reel, a lively and not difficult dance. Mizutani played his violin with Hanai pointing out the flourishes of the hands and feet that were possible.

Sakaeguchi walked among the dancers, adjusting, correcting, and sometimes, in Abe and Mihashi's case, pushing them into the serpentine flow of the dance.

Mihashi caught on quickly, although his limbs seemed to start off without knowing how to comport themselves. Abe was as stiff as a board; he captured the timing quickly enough, but when he wasn't stepping on his partner's toes or running his elbows into their sides, he was scowling heavily enough to give at least Oki and Nishihiro second thoughts.

"You do know how to dance." Sakaeguchi tried not to be accusatory. Abe was stomping with all the finesse of a pregnant cow. However Abe was dancing, at least he _was_ dancing.

"Who said I couldn't?" Abe asked, and then he switched partners.

Once Abe returned to the center, Sakaeguchi said, "I thought you didn't."

"I never said I didn't know how. I just said I didn't."

"Whyever did you not say that you could?"

"I try to avoid situations that make me do something I don't like."

Sakaeguchi stepped away when the group reached the end of their line and then bowed to each other.

The next day, they all returned for the cotillion. With similar results. They did, however, elect to dance in their shirtsleeves and vests due to the exertion of dancing, even in the poor heat of the room.

The third day was the quadrille. At the end of a set of modest success, Mizutani was putting away his violin, and they were starting to break up to go to their rooms, gathering up their discarded jackets and neckcloths when Mihashi asked, "What - what - what about the waltz?"

The occupants of the room displayed a variety of reactions. Nishihiro and Oki colored. Tajima giggled, a bit naughtily. Abe didn't say anything, but his grim face gave him away. He wanted nothing further to do with dance. 

Hanai was pulled up short. Thoughtfully, he said, "I would be surprised if there was a waltz. It is at the very forefront of fashion, but playing a waltz, at a country assembly hall - that's not done."

Suyama declared, "If the wrong hostess did it, or in the wrong setting, the whole business is decidedly havey-cavey."

Izumi said, "Any girl would refuse. They don't want to be considered fast. I don't think it would be called for." 

"Are you sure?" Mihashi asked.

If Mihashi is still asking, then Sakaeguchi knew it was not just him who was concerned. 

Hanai must have thought so too, as the confusion was broken by Hanai's deep sigh. "Who knows how?"

Sakaeguchi raised his hand. "I do." He looked around. Tajima, Mizutani, Hanai and Suyama also have their hands up. "Mizutani, do you know any suitable songs?"

Mizutani, first dumbfounded, recovered and nodded.

Sakaeguchi said, "Well, let's do it quickly now. Get it over with. It shouldn't take long."

Everyone moved away from Abe. 

"Oi!" Abe protested.

Izumi said, "If you hadn't stepped on everyone's feet that last set, then maybe we wouldn't be running away from you."

"I will attend to it," Sakaeguchi said, going to stand in front of Abe.

"How do you know how to waltz?" asked Abe.

"My sister wanted to make sure I knew." With a smile, he joked, "You never know - perhaps I shall meet my fortune during the waltz." 

Abe looked dubious. "How much have you done it?"

"More than you," Sakaeguchi said. He tried to assure. "It's not very complicated."

Abe did not look reassured.

Mizutani began to run his bow over his violin.

"Arms out - " Hanai said, and the rest of the boys paired up.

Sakaeguchi sighed, pointing to the ground in front of him. "Come here."

"What?"

"HERE." Sakaeguchi gave up and stepped in closely. 

Once close enough, Sakaeguchi grabbed Abe's hands, placing one hand behind his back around his waist, and gesturing for him to take Sakaeguchi's other hand over his head, so they both faced forward, arms around each other waists, outside arms arched over their heads. _When did Abe grow so much taller than him?_ They were nearly the same height when they had arrived at Nishiura nearly three years ago.

"You needn't, uh, touch, uh, hips," Sakaeguchi said, as Abe's entire side came into full contact with his. Sakaeguchi could feel himself, unbelievably, start to flush. This was rather unexpected. He had known Abe for years, both at Nishiura and back at home, since Abe's grandfather had purchased land adjacent to his own family's property when they were children. "Not with me."

"I can't not," Abe said, and despite what common sense might suggest, as he tried to correct his arms, pulled in even closer against Sakaeguchi's side.

"Start with your right foot, walking forward, promenade…" They struggled to match strides, Sakaeguchi in difficulty with his skirts, Abe sweating, looking like he would swear. 

"PROMENADE, not MARCH," Sakaeguchi ordered. 

"I play cricket, I don't dance," Abe said, the hand holding Sakaeguchi's hand turning damp with sweat.

Surreptitiously, Sakaeguchi wiped his palm off on to his skirts. "If you can play cricket, you can dance."

The music changed, slowing, become nearly languid.

"And now the pirouette," Sakaeguchi said, returning them to a neutral position where they faced each other. He first directed, and then resorted to pulling on Abe's arm so they faced each other. "Put your hands where I put my hands." He proceeded to place a hand on Abe's side just above his waist, and raised his other, outside arm to form another overhead arch. "Curved lines, please."

Abe ably mimicked. Sakaeguchi tried to insert some space between their bodies, but found it impossible. Giving up, Sakaeguchi instructed, "You look into your partner's eyes." Abe looked at him, his dark grey eyes riveted to Sakaeguchi's face. "And now, you turn with your partner."

They rotated in that one spot, Sakaeguchi going backwards, with Abe stepping forwards.

"It's just in a circle like that?" Abe was incredulous.

Sakaeguchi counting out loud for Abe's benefit, nodded. It was as if Abe's considerable physical acumen caught up with his struggling brain, and Sakaeguchi found himself being moving in sync with Abe. "Yes," he said, with a small sigh of relief. "I said it was easy."

Sakaeguchi looked up into Abe's eyes, the encouraging smile on his lips fading a little at the intense look on Abe's face. _How was it that he had to tilt his head back to look into Abe's eyes?_ The span of Sakaeguchi's attention shrank down to the contact points with Abe; warm hands on his hand and side, full contact against firm hip and muscular thigh. 

Sakaeguchi cleared his throat. "This is where one carries on a pleasant and distracting flirtation. Or a wooing, if one were to be more serious, which might be the case with such a dance."

"Hrm," Abe said, his eyebrows dropping in concentration. "How does one proceed? In flirtations? Have you much experience in such?" 

Sakaeguchi swallowed, and he noticed Abe's focus dipped, the heavy lids not covering the minute motion from his own eyes on down to his throat, visible from an earlier removal of his neckcloth. "No, I, uh, merely - " Sakaeguchi self-consciously used the tip of his tongue to lick his bottom lip. Abe's eyes flicked back up, came back up, watching, avid, the pupils wider, blacker against the grey. 

Saekaguchi felt, suddenly, overheated. Perhaps it was the accumulation of activity. Yes. It must be that. "I have never tried to pay court to anyone - I don't imagine I would before I reach my majority," Sakaeguchi said, earnestly. "To press a suit until then - "

"No?" Abe's left eyebrow winged upwards. "What do you think you are doing now, if not pressing my suit?"

Startled, Sakaeguchi released an inordinately delighted laugh. "Abe! That was marvelous! I was unaware you had that in you!"

His partner's response was to flash a small, self-satisfied smile.

"A tad cheeky, though." In a lighter tone, Sakaeguchi said, "I can't even claim to have pursued a light dalliance - or an intrigue of any weight - "

"Have you not developed any attachments? Not ever?"

Unable to believe that Abe might, might have just said what he said in the silky way in which he had just said it, Sakeaguchi, flustered, tried to achieve levity. "I had great admiration of the vicar's daughter when I was thirteen."

"The vicar's daughter? Why?"

"She had the finest Greek script among all of us. I was deeply envious. You do not understand how much I desired her hand - handwriting."

Abe chuckled. "If that is all?"

More confidently, Sakaeguchi said, "Nay, I have not pursued nor have I sought to be -" It was most unfortunate that just then, he looked at Abe. He noticed the way Abe's shirt collar hung, a little limply, against his skin, and the transition along his neck where the darker, tanned skin faded down the length of his throat, to the deeply-sculpted well at the bottom, a place where sun rarely shone.

Abe looked intently at him. 

All at sea, certain he was in the middle of a sentence, Sakaeguchi managed a most intelligible, "Ah - uh -?"

"-Pursued? You have never sought to be pursued."

"Yes, that's right." Sakaeguchi grasped eagerly at the conversational line thrown to him. He blinked. "Your, uh, work on the telescope here?" Oddly, he found it difficult to put the words together. He tried harder. "How does it proceed - your work?"

"Mister Shiga discussed the position of the planets and how we could calculate their positions - "

Giving up on listening to any of the content of the words from Abe's mouth, Sakaeguchi nodded, letting the smooth tones of his voice wash over him. _Had Abe's voice become deeper recently?_

It was with surprise, and then relief that Sakaeguchi heard the tempo swing upwards. The dangerous part, the scandalous part of the waltz was over. He dropped his overhead arm and placed the hand upon Abe's bicep, prompting Abe to do the same. He refused to consider the firm heat of the muscle under his palm, heat he felt even through the fine linen that covered it. 

Sakaeguchi said, "A few steps now."

Abe looked down at his feet, as they slowly hop-step-stepped in a circle. 

Sakaeguchi felt immediately much improved, out of the intense focus of those eyes. If he was in any way bereft, he felt it best to take no note of it. After a few rotations, he felt sufficient confidence to say, "Head up, please, you will need to keep your eyes on your partner, and of course, you will be wearing gloves when you dance with a real partner, so you needn't worry - "

"Worry?" Abe asked, eyes locking upon Sakaeguchi's own.

"Worry?" murmured Sakaeguchi, absently. Abe's attention was most absorbing.

"You said I needn't worry because gloves - "

Sakaeguchi blinked. _What was happening to him?_ In an overly brisk tone, he said, "You needn't worry about your hands contacting their clothing with gloves. Most ladies will wear silk, which would be easily stained without such a barrier."

The tempo swung upward even further, and they moved again. Sakaeguchi said, "Hands on waist," and he followed his words with the action. Abe copied him and they began a further hop-step-step sequence.

"You see, the position of the feet?" Sakaeguchi paused, which in turn, caused Abe to stop, both of them with their arms around each other.

Abe glanced down, and then, slowly, perused Sakaeguchi's figure to return to looking in his eyes. "I see," he answered, solemnly.

Sakaeguchi could feel the breath leave his body and a fine trembling begin along his limbs. _What was this feeling?_

Mizutani finished with the tune with a slowing of the place and then a great flourish. Awareness of all the other boys around them caused Sakaeguchi to break away from Abe's embrace. He, perhaps a trifle overenthusiastically, applauded Mizutani's performance. "Thank you, Mizutani," he said. 

Abe stood up next to Sakaeguchi. "Mizutani, can you do it again? I wonder if I might attempt - " 

"I - I think this is all you need. You can practice more on your own. But I don't think you will need me at all," Sakaeguchi said, realizing he was starting to gabble, but unable to halt the stream of words from his mouth. "It is getting quite late, and we need to be up early."

"Yes, yes," Hanai agreed. "It is late. The assembly is tomorrow and we must be our best."

Sakaeguchi retreated from the room as quickly as his legs could take him, not even stopping to whip off his skirts.

* * *

Sakaeguchi lay in bed, unable to sleep. He listened to Suyama's relaxed breathing, envious. Hours earlier, Suyama had brought him his jacket and neckcloth, looking concerned. He said nothing beyond "Best not forget them again." Knowing Suyama, he would not speak of it unless driving very strongly to that point. What was going on there?

It was only a few hours ago that he became aware of Abe as he had never done in all the years he had known him. Not since Abe's grandfather had purchased an adjacent property all those years ago, not since they began school together, not even this morning. He turned over and over the incidents in which they had been together; their first meeting in his father's drawing room, to the realization of their attendance to the same school, cricket matches where the emotion was running high - if he truly was unaware of Abe, how could he recall such moments so easily?

He thought again of Abe, of the intensity of the look he had received. Of Abe's hands, of Abe's mouth. It was a surprisingly attractive mouth, contrastingly firm and lush-looking, one that probably required more study, if he were actually interested in a flirtation. Which, Sakaeguchi tried to convince himself, he was most certainly not.

This was most certainly not the admiration he had held for the vicar's daughter. Nor the quick rushing sensation he occasionally felt upon catching sight of a comely face or figure, a strong arm or shapely leg. 

This was something else.

And why Abe? Of all people. Might as well be entertain the idea of making love with the King of France, or the man on the moon for all the good such a thing would do.

He rolled over, stuffing his head under his pillow. This could not be. He resolved that he could not act in any way that would be any different from the way he had behaved previously.

* * *

"Is Suyama in?" Abe stuck his head through the doorway into Sakaeguchi's and Suyama's shared room.

"He's helping Tajima and Mihashi to get dressed. Do you need help?"

"Ah - well - " Abe looked embarrassed. "I can't manage a neckcloth - "

"How do you dress everyday? Everybody wears one." 

"I just do a quick tie and twist - Nishiura's code is half-dress, after all. But an inspection at a ball - I could not do a cravat justice." Abe shook his head. 

"If you don't mind," Sakaeguchi said, carefully, "I can do it. I don't know many fancy knots, but I can manage - " Dubiously eyeing Abe's own sloppily mangled neckcloth, Sakaeguchi asked, "To start, perhaps you can give me a fresh one of yours."

Abe retrieved it. Sakaeguchi frowned as he folded it and turned over the ends, puzzling how best to approach this. Finally, he gestured Abe out onto the hallway. He had Abe stand on the second step down facing him, hands on the railing, while he stood on the landing above. 

"We're nearly on top of one another," Abe commented.

Sakaeguchi winced internally. He had hoped Abe wouldn't say anything. He was very aware of Abe's physical presence, half a breath and they would be touching. He tried to ignore it. After all, he had a job to do. "It's better this way," Sakaeguchi replied. "Head up." He reached down, cloth in his hands, pulled the center up against Abe's throat, crossed the ends over the back of Abe's neck, then back towards the front, maintaining a taut tension of fabric under Abe's chin and up toward his ears. 

"This is not - " Abe coughed, "-comfortable."

"No," Sakaeguchi said. "It is not. Good presentation generally isn't. Keep your chin up."

Then Sakaeguchi pulled the ends back down, made a few twists, pulled a half-knot. Every touch, even through the cloth, met warm, solid flesh. Every breath ticked off time that they were a hands-breadth apart. Sakaeguchi tucked the ends under the edges of Abe's waistcoat, pulling out the cloth to great effect against the frills of his shirt. 

"There," Sakaeguchi said, with a final, gentle finger against Abe's throat, marking the last declension. "Mind that stays until you remove it." He couldn't help himself, he reached out and smoothed the fabric across Abe's broad, muscular shoulders. Sakaeguchi smiled, admiring the effect. "Most handsome."

He looked upward at Abe, the small smile on his lips frozen when he saw Abe's eyes upon him. They really were standing so very close together.

Abe leaned forward, so his chest, and Sakaeguchi's hands upon his chest, rested upon Sakaeguchi's own torso. 

"You think so?" Abe's voice was pitched low and soft, an exchange between just the two of them.

Sakaeguchi inhaled deeply, causing their fronts to come into even more contact. "Why - yes- "

"Hey!" Tajima called, running down the hall. "Anybody have extra stockings? Mihashi tore his last pair!"

"I - I do," Sakaeguchi said, turning away quickly. He willed the burning in his cheeks to cool. He chanced a last look over his shoulder.

Abe was looking at him, focused and heated. 

Sakaeguchi swallowed. He should not have taken the risk of that last glance. 

* * *

And at the assembly ball, when Abe and he danced with different young ladies across the room, even as he was as aware of Abe's location as he was aware of nothing else, Sakaeguchi thought he did quite well. Even though the heart under his tailored evening jacket soared with every glance in his direction, and chilled with every look away, Sakaeguchi very much believed neither of them had acted as if anything was different at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mihashi - only son of impoverished lower level nobility (second son and a gentry-born bluestocking), grandson of Marquess (Marquess of Mihoshi) (can use the title of Viscount Mihashi, first in precedence among those in his year at Nishiura )  
> Sakaeguchi - first born son of impoverished lower level nobility (son of viscount, hence a baron in precedence, title Mr., courtesy title)  
> Abe - first born son of wealthy mill-owner (title Mr.)  
> Hanai - first born son of a noble second son (son of baron, courtesy title Mr. )  
> Suyama - second son, lower nobility (son of baron, courtesy title Mr.)  
> Mizutani - gentry (title Mr.)  
> Izumi - gentry (title Mr.)  
> Tajima - gentry (title Mr.)  
> Nishihiro - pastor's son (title Mr.)  
> Oki - pastor's son (title Mr.)
> 
> References:  
> http://www.kickery.com/2008/03/regency-dancers.html
> 
> http://walternelson.com/dr/shocking-waltz


	3. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden change in Sakaeguchi's fortunes, for which Abe has a proposal.

Sakaeguchi walked into the dining room, where he saw his elder sister and her husband, Mister Yamato, were breaking their fast. After pressing him to join them at table, a plate was brought and Sakaeguchi served himself.

"Who on earth could that be, visiting at such an hour in the morning?" asked Mister Yamato.

"Abe Takaya," Sakaeguchi said. 

"Ah," Wakako said, an odd look running across her face. "Abe? Is he back from the north?"

"Yes." Sakaeguchi felt suddenly as if to say anything more would be too much. He cleared his throat. 

"You remember Abe," Wakako said to her husband. "He's an old friend of Yuuto's from Nishiura."

"If it is too early for him to visit, I can ask him - " Sakaeguchi began.

"Oh, no," Wakako said, shooting a quick look at her husband. "Any friend of yours is a friend of ours. They may come and go as if this were also your house." The footman came, bearing a small tray. "Oh. You have a letter from home."

They sat in quiet conversation while Sakaeguchi read the brief message and then he put it aside. At his sister's inquiring look, he said, "It was Papa."

"How is your father?" asked Mister Yamato.

"Well enough," Sakaeguchi said.

Wakako urged, "You saw him most recently, Yuuto. Please tell me truly."

It was a long pause before Sakaeguchi spoke. "He has no interest in attending Parliament, or even leaving the manor. He will not be joining us this Season."

"I did not think it likely, but I had hoped, maybe to see the children," Wakako said. "Does he still go up there?"

"Almost everyday, weather permitting." The siblings sighed, almost in concert.

Mister Yamato asked, "Where?" 

"My mother's grave," Wakako replied. 

"He has not left the grounds since she passed, years ago. Even now, he could not be persuaded to leave the manor," Sakaeguchi said. "I have tried, but life away from the manor holds no attraction for him."

"After my mother's death, my father was not himself. The family's affairs were in, ah, some disarray. That's why I debuted so late," Wakako explained.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," Sakaeguchi said, the corners of his mouth drawing downward. 

"You were but a boy dealing with problems of many years of accounting," Wakako replied. "There is no point is covering ground long since worn bare," she said, with finality.

Smoothly, Mister Yamato said, "Forgive me, but I need to make a few rounds." The older gentleman stood up, pressed his wife's hand and bid Sakaeguchi a good day.

Wakako dabbed the corners of her eyes, sniffed, and picked up her teacup as if reaching for the elixir of life. "We'll be attending the Hanai affair. Shall you also?"

Sakaeguchi nodded. "I think Hanai wanted to put it off, but given his mother's desire for grandchildren, and that he has not been productive on that front, well - " and he laughed. "I believe Hanai's feeling is that 'There is nothing to be done about it.'" 

"Who else do you think will be attending?"

"Tajima, Oki, Mizutani, Izumi, oh, and Abe, certainly. He said as much this morning." After a sip of coffee, Sakaeguchi continued. "Hanai is gathering up all the old group to make sure his sisters are not without a dance the entire night." He smiled, internally amused. "I should say, his mother is having Hanai gather all of us up. I have not seen Misses Haruka and Asuka for a few years. I imagine they will have any number of suitors."

"A girl's first Season is something she remembers her whole life," Wakako said, reminiscent. "The dress I wore was completely unsuitable."

"I'm sorry that you had to put off your Season." Sakaeguchi looked apologetic. "Things being what they were."

"It was providential," Wakako said, with a smile. "That was the first season Mister Yamato had chosen to participate in some years."

"He dotes upon you," Sakaeguchi said.

"Upon the children even moreso. I think his first marriage was happy, except for that. It was true mourning that kept him from social life for so long." She adjusted the spoons at her place, slowly. "Though our union was not quite the love match that Mama and Papa had, Mister Yamato has been nothing but kind." She paused. "How are things? Yuuto, is there nothing we can do to help?"

Sakaeguchi shook his head. "I must land a big fish these next few months, else we'll lose everything but the entailment - everything in the house and most of the land."

Wakako's eyebrows drew downward. "Mister Yamato has some money, but we can't do all that -"

Alerted to his sister's intention, Sakaeguchi shook his head, "No, it's not for you to solve. You allowing me to stay here and rent out the house in Mayfair so there is money for this Season - "

Wakako leaned forward, her voice dropping. "Yuuto, Mister Yamato wanted me to broach a topic with you - delicately. He offers to pay for Yukihiro's tuition for next year. If that would be a help to you."

"It would be a great help!" Sakaeguchi said. "But I would not want to hang onto your sleeve, sister. Nor that of your husband."

"I know we are not as flush as some, but - " Wakako opened her hands. "What I can do for you, for us, is this. If you will allow us, we can take on Yukihiro's expenses entirely."

"Ah, sister," Yuuto said, a warmth in his heart, yet hesitant. "I could not ask."

"At least for this year."

"Until I marry," he countered. "Then I can take care of things as I should."

"Yes. We can do this, and we shall. Yukihiro is my brother, too. And what good is being married with a comfortable husband if I cannot do this for my youngers?"

"Your husband is most generous," Sakaeguchi said. "If you are sure that he is sure - ?"

"That is his way. Mister Yamato reached his majority many years ago, and I believe he knows his own mind."

"This year only, then."

"This year only," Wakako said, nodding, with the air of a deal being struck. "Now, are you free?"

"Why?"

"The children said last night how they miss their Uncle Yuuto, for all you haven't visited in nearly a day."

Sakaeguchi laughed, out of a sense of relief as well as amusement. "Being without me for a whole day? This is a tragedy I must rectify immediately."

* * *

Sakaeguchi sat in the office, staring at the white plaster walls, waiting for the solicitor, a Mister Sato that had been suggested to him by his man of business. When the door opened, he scrambled to stand. In came Abe, who seemed as bemused at he was.

"By thunder! Whatever are you doing here?"

"Blame me if I know," Abe replied. "I was just given the idea that my presence was required." He held onto his top hat and gloves, hooking the brass head of his walking stick over his arm. "What say you that I collect you for the Hanai affair?"

"In two days?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"Is there another?" Abe arched an eyebrow.

"You merely desire that there will be sufficient other gentlemen that your presence not be required on the dance floor, and you can place a wager or two. Or," Sakaeguchi grinned, "even run out to the library and hide yourself."

"You have dead me to rights, as ever. As a plan, it is flimsy, I grant you that," Abe said.

Sakaeguchi nodded. "I'd be well pleased to go with you. As long as I also have a way to return. My sister will be attending but she hopes to leave early." 

"She well?"

Thinking of their conversation earlier, Sakaeguchi smiled. "Marriage suits her."

"And how is your father?"

"Passable," Sakaeguchi said, "but he's been failing for years, you know." 

"Ah," Abe said, his sharp eyes softening in sympathy.

Swiftly, Sakaeguchi changed the topic. "Your family? Are they well?"

"My father is making money, as ever. He is somewhat disappointed by his proposals to various nobles, that they do not want to join up with him and make money also. My mother is spending all that money in an attempt to get Shun cozied up with some likely fillies. That puppy." Abe snorted. "They're all likely to be at the ball as well."

"And not you?" Sakaeguchi asked.

Abe lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "You know my feelings on that."

In swept the solicitor, a cadaverously pale little man with wispy grey hair in half-moon spectacles, holding a large sheaf of papers. He introduced himself and they shook hands all around.

After seating themselves, Mister Sato said, "I expect you know each other."

Abe and Sakaeguchi both nodded. 

"Our families have land that adjoins," Sakaeguchi said.

"Ah," said Mister Sato. "I hadn't thought to get to the point so quickly, but I shall." He cleared his throat. "It appears, Mister Abe, that your grandfather had loaned Mister Sakaeguchi's great-grandfather quite a large sum many years ago. And the date for reimbursement is approaching."

Sakaeguchi swallowed. "H-how large?"

Mister Sato, his voice bland, recited an amount that caused Sakaeguchi's face to blanch. "That also includes the interest, of which Mister Abe's grandfather generously applied a very minimal amount."

Leaning forward, Abe asked, "When is it due?"

"One month."

Sakaeguchi froze. It took a moment for him to recover his voice. It emerged a thin, reedy version of itself. "Abe - I didn't know how I missed this. I had been going through the paperwork for years and it never came up. I'm so sorry - a debt like this -"

Abe slowly shook his head. "I don't understand. I've never heard of this either, and my father keeps me well informed."

"I'm not surprised," Mister Sato said. He spread a few faded sheets of foolscap in front of them. "As you can see, the letters between your two ancestors indicate that this a contract between the two of them. The Lord Sakaeguchi of that time, Sakaeguchi Hajime, said that he was offering a child to Mister Abe at whatever time he is prepared to accept." Mister Sato pointed to the closely written, shakily drafted lines that crossed. "Mister Abe wrote that since children take a while to grow, that he was willing to wait a few generations." The other letter was in a thick block print, heavily scored and much blotted. "This only came to my attention because of the date."

"But I don't have any children," exclaimed Sakaeguchi, too distraught to peruse the letters. "I couldn't do this to them, regardless."

Mister Sato rotated the scripted letter. "If you look closely here, it states that adoption or marriage would be acceptable."

"This has to be some kind of joke," Abe said, looking stormy. 

Looking very dry, Mister Sato said, "I do not joke. My firm was consulted in this from the beginning, over fifty years ago."

"What - what are the terms again?" Sakaeguchi asked, grasping at this new reality.

Mister Sato repeated them. He added, "Neither original party ever indicated, however, any preference for what kind of child, male or female, or the marriage that might result."

Sakaeguchi gasped a moment. "This agreement can't be valid, after all this time. Surely, there are laws!"

Abe said, slowly, "I do not want this taken through the courts. Neither of our ancestors will look particularly enlightened."

"No," Sakaeguchi agreed. "There needs to be a way to repay this." He turned to Mister Sato. 

Flatly, Mister Sato said, "I called you both here because you are the eldest eligible children of the families in question and this needs to be resolved between the two of you. The agreement was merely an exchange. I repeat, adoption is an option."

Sakaeguchi took exception to the statement. "My brother is not up for adoption."

Slowly, as if used to speaking the unspeakable, Sato said, "There is also marriage."

"My sister is already married. My brother and I are male!" Sakaeguchi objected.

"Marriage between two men is legal, but it is highly uncommon and requires dispensation from the bishop. I imagine because of the special license requirements and the complications with inheritance."

"My brother is too young and I - I - " Sakaeguchi's heart thumped, once, in his throat. He dared not look at Abe. "Marriage?"

"Can I not just forgive the loan?" Abe asked.

"No," Sato said. "Any nonpayment leads to forfeiture, with my firm responsible for the disposal of all property."

Sakaeguchi shook his head. "I can't believe this. Even if you would be so generous, Abe, I cannot allow it to go into arrears. This is a debt of honor."

"I would allow it - "

"A gentleman always keeps his word, no matter his class," Sakaeguchi said.

"Can we be alone?" Abe asked Sato. 

The door had barely closed behind Mister Sato when Sakaeguchi exclaimed, "I will find a way to make things right and pay you, Abe. This is most ridiculous - "

"I disagree," Abe said.

"Pardon?" asked Sakaeguchi, arrested. His eyes searched Abe's face, seeking, and failing to find, any sign of the emotion underneath.

"I disagree," Abe repeated. "This isn't as ridiculous as you might think. I think this is quite a convenient arrangement. We are both looking to wed. I need to capture a title, which you possess, and you need a fortune, which I possess. Neither of us needs an heir, as we both have younger brothers. And neither of us wants to have this blasted contract hanging over our families."

"I cannot ask you to sacrifice yourself on this - ancient foolishness! There must be a way to break this - this - " Sakaeguchi stammered. 

Softly, Abe asked, "Do you have any objections - perhaps to marriage or relations with another man -"

"I - I - have -" admitting what he had never done out loud, ever, Sakaeguchi, his heart pounding his chest, and said, quickly, faintly, "I have never found anyone objectionable due to those circumstances."

"Well, then." Abe looked surprisingly relieved. 

"Abe - " Sakaeguchi cut him off, as kindly as he could. "I wish you to know that I appreciate our friendship beyond what words I can currently muster. You know, too, that I have very little in the way of material goods or influence, and that if there was anything from me which I could give to you, I would, without hesitation." He swallowed. "I feel we have an unusual combination of sympathy and mutual understanding, and an appreciation of similar things."

Abe's expression turned into a look of great confusion. "Of course." 

"These things include our duty to our families and a respect for the reputation of the other."

"I would never do anything to harm your reputation - !" Abe looked aghast.

"Neither would I to yours," Sakaeguchi said. 

"Sakaeguchi - "

"But I would wish you better than whatever slight measure of social leverage someone like myself can bring you." It was with a great, cold pain in his chest that Sakaeguchi saw Abe's face close up. He continued, the freezing feeling extending through his arms and legs. "I fear that is this is as far as affection may allow me to extend. I will find a way to break the entailment and return the money to you and your family, whatever the cost to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "crossed" or "crossing"- to save on postage and paper when writing, a letter would be written in one direction, rotated 90 degrees and new lines written in that new direction. (what Jane Austen Ate and what Dickens knew p 150-151)  
> The law that Sakaeguchi is talking about is the March 25, 1754 (seen in some other references as the Marriage Act of 1753?), when the Hardwicke Act for the Prevention of Clandestine Marriages, which outlaws contract marriage and codifies Church of England practice, where "It was an offense against church law for a clergyman to marry anyone who was not a willing participant in the ceremony."  
> http://www.eclectics.com/allisonlane/common_regency_errors.html  
> http://www.regencyresearcher.com/pages/marriage.html  
> http://www.cherylbolen.com/courting.htm  
> And yes, I have gay marriage as legal in this fic even though that is totally, absolutely 100% historically wrong.


	4. A Most Difficult Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakaeguchi and Abe both learn a great deal their first year out of Nishiura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last section of this chapter was written while thinking about [this piece by phixuscarus.](http://phixuscarus.tumblr.com/post/97641154605/oofuri-69min-stargazing)
> 
> Content warning for alcohol.

"Sakaeguchi!" The exclamation was hurried, coming from a distance.

The invoked paused, and turning around, he tried to determine the origins of the call. "Sakaeguchi!" Then he looked up. The voice was familiar enough - Abe was yelling out of the window. 

"Wait there!" Within moments, Abe was by his side.

While the encounter wasn't unexpected, it still caused Sakaeguchi's heart to thump in a novel manner. "Hello, Abe." 

"I've been trying to find you all day. About last night - "

Sakaeguchi waited, looking at anywhere but at Abe.

"I - I - do - did you - " he looked directly at Sakaeguchi, trying to catch his eyes. "-- did like the - uh - the dancing? Last few nights?"

The hesitancy in normally brash Abe was particularly effective, and Sakaeguchi wished, oh, he wished things might be different. At the familiar face, made suddenly so dear, the crinkle of concern between the heavy eyebrows.

"I did," Sakaeguchi said. He colored, and his deniability went right out the window. 

"Sakaeguchi!" called Mister Shiga, who was waiting down by the gates of the school.

Sakaeguchi waved and turned to the bags on the ground.

Abe asked, surprised, "You going somewhere?"

"I received a letter this morning. My sister wrote. She thought it best I come home."

"Why?"

"My mother is poorly."

"Oh." Abe looked down. "I'm sorry, Sakaeguchi."

"She had never been strong," Sakaeguchi said. "But it seemed especially important that I leave now."

Eyebrows raised, seeing to understand the nature of the hurry, Abe nodded. "It'll be good to see you when you come back."

"I'm glad we - I'm glad we danced." Sakaeguchi allowed himself a quick, rash grab of Abe's hand before he hurtled himself down the school's drive to the man and waiting coach.

"I will write!" Abe called, hurtling himself alongside the coach to wave.

And the brief burst of warmth that accompanied the sight of Abe's sprint down to the coach before it rolled off kept Sakaeguchi smiling a long time.

* * *

A smile seemed very far away when Sakaeguchi arrived home, driving up the vast expanse of lawn up to the relatively modest manor home. 

His mother passed within a few weeks of Sakaeguchi's return. 

Immediately following their mother's passing, Wakako struggled with the mourning gifts; bolts of black fabric emerging from some hitherto unknown storage, and the making of endless bands for hats and arms, gloves and scarves and dresses. Sakaeguchi ordered mourning clothing; for himself, his father, his brother.

The bells tolled the hour of her death. After her departure, it was like a door being shut behind her, all the light and sound and joy disappearing to wherever she had gone.

Sakaeguchi was aware of being exhausted. Even beyond staying up during the vigil, there was still requesting the casket from a local carpenter, ordering and sending the notices, handling all the details of which his father was no longer capable. 

The days passed, feeling like a long, long winter dusk, even though he knew it was the middle of spring. He was only truly aware of it when he went out to the small burial plot on the property, high up on a ridge. The sun was shining. Sakaeguchi looked up at the trees on the walk. He remembered the buds on the trees when he had returned home; they were now in full, gorgeous bloom. He didn't know how that happened, he had not noticed. His mother would have liked that. She had been a city dweller until her marriage, she had taken to country living like a duck to water and disliked returning to urban settings. She had told them, after missing any number of Seasons in the City while their father was attending to Parliamentary business, how many of the acquaintances of her youth had found that peculiar.

Sakaeguchi and Yukihiro, along with some of the servants and some crofters, dug the grave. The ground was full of stones. Spring had softened the ground, moistening it, making it easy to dig. His hands on the shovel ached. The water-logged dirt was heavy. Speckles of mud fell all over his new clothes, on the skin of his hands, his face. The earth smelled like grass, like cool iron, and with each shovelful, increasingly wet and sepia. He went with his brother, father and a handful of strong-backed men to the cart to lift and carry the casket, his hastily wiped hands leaving faint muddy prints on the wood. It was surprisingly light on his shoulder as the small group moved to the burial site. It was unbearable to continue, and it was unbearable not to. He chose to continue.

There were few mourners outside the family, staff, crofters, and a scattering of neighbors. Their mother had been against great showiness, regardless of the expectations of their social status. She had given very specific instructions. No eulogy, no music, no horses, no procession, no strangers, no elaborate headstone. The casket was lowered into the open grave.

The parson spoke a few prayers. Their father did not speak. Sakaeguchi could not think of anything to say. Only after the first clods of dirt were dropped upon the casket that Wakako cried out, sobbing, dropping to her knees on the damp earth, caring nothing about the mud that was certain to stain the black bombazine. After that, Yukihiro, and then Yuuto himself wept, smearing the drying mud across his face with his tears. Wakako had to be carried back to the manor, Yukihiro and Yuuto following close behind. Their father stayed up at the site, only coming back after a trusted servant was sent for him when the sun was about to go down.

Their mother had wanted to save them from the knowledge of how they behaved in grief. Knowledge of how it would be shared with others. They had not believed her, thinking it was only to ease their own feelings. Their mother knew them better than themselves.

* * *

He felt the numbness and quiet that settled over the household after the burial. Sakaeguchi wasn't sure if it was just a reflection of the moods of the people in household or his awareness of the great emptiness left behind when his mother passed. The cook still cooked, people still ate and were paid, they still slept, read, spoke with others, but it was a blank, flat time. His father was furiously grieved and refused to leave his rooms.

Sakaeguchi began to attend to the matters of the estate, as his father was incapable. The tradespeople they dealt with accepted his word, as did his father's solicitor, as did all the staff. After some correspondence, Miss Momoe agreed to allow his return after his mourning to graduate. Further, she indicated she would be happy to write any references, should he need them for university entry.

* * *

All along, Abe wrote. His letters were brief, first telling of Nishiura, their graduation, his summer travels, and then, later, of Shizuoka University. He urged Sakaeguchi to attend Shizuoka once his mourning was over, or at least, visit. Abe wrote of his classes, astronomy in particular, his instructors, the cricket club, and of a fiery bowler named Haruna and of his happiness in becoming one of the regular wicket keepers.

It wasn't long before the letters began to trail off. Abe even writing was bending, if not breaking, a rule of etiquette, assuming that anyone would be capable of receiving his news. Sakaeguchi didn't worry about it overmuch - he himself had not been a very good correspondent these past months. To expect another to maintain a line of communication would have been hypocritical. That is not to say Sakaeguchi didn't miss them. Merely, he understood.

* * *

After nearly a year, Sakaeguchi donned a bottle green jacket. Wakako transitioned to a dove grey gown. Yukihiro had shed his black clothes when he returned to his boarding school, some months previous. Their father refused to give up the mourning clothing.

* * *

Sakaeguchi stood among the other spectators, watching the cricketers on the green. To a man, they were fit, dressed in their pantaloons and shirt-sleeves and waistcoats. One in particular caught his eye. On the pitch, behind the wickets, the wicket-keeper, a tall, broad-shouldered, black-haired man, positioned himself into a half-crouch, the material of his breeches tightening over his thick thighs. Under deceptively droopy eyelids, the keeper was watching the bowler, a tall, handsome man with long black hair that fell into his eyes.

"How's Haruna doing?" a tall, stout woman asked a lanky gentleman to the side of Sakaeguchi.

"He's a bit off his game," the lanky gentleman replied. "Shizuoka's behind. Can't account for it otherwise. Fielding is good. Keeper's in fine form."

And then Haruna began his run-up, bounded, and hurled a blazingly fast ball, his under-arm pitching motion almost too fast to trace. The batsman swung and missed, the ball dropping to bounce in front of him, and then went off the side of the stumps. Abe grabbed the ball in his gloved hands and tapped the stumps, causing the bails to drop. 

Sakaeguchi smiled. Abe was a good keeper. He could catch anything. Even when Sakaeguchi disagreed with Abe's aggressive style, his purposeful intimidation of the batsman by standing up closely behind the posts, and his poorly hidden habit of sledging the batsman, his skill and hard-won technique could not be dismissed.

"Out!" shouted an umpire.

That was the last innings. Saitama University had won over Shizuoka, 250-123. The teams gathered and shook hands. The crowd had largely dispersed by the time Abe had come off the field, wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Good game," Sakaeguchi said.

Abe paused, squinting, and then turned, his saturnine countenance lifting into a smile as he caught sight of the speaker. "Sakaeguchi - !" he exclaimed. "Whatever are you doing here?"

"I'm on my way through, back to finish my term at Nishiura." 

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" 

"I didn't want to presume - "

"Where are you staying?"

"I'm going to get some rooms at the inn - "

"Nonsense," Abe said. "You'll stay with me." Decision made, he looked at Sakaeguchi carefully. "Are you well? How much do you weigh now? You look like you've lost a stone!"

"There was scarlatina in the manor after New Year's Day. Yukihiro was fortunately back at school, but the rest of us did not escape unscathed. All of us, Wakako included, had to cut off all our hair."

"You'll need to eat more -"

"Takaya! Who is this?" asked Haruna.

"Haruna, this is Sakaeguchi, we went to Nishiura together. His father is Lord Sakaeguchi, they've property in the Midlands."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance - " Sakaeguchi began, but was sharply cut off.

"You a bowler?" Haruna's large eyes narrowed as they looked over Sakaeguchi. He smiled, but there was little humor behind it.

That smile, combined with Abe's observations, caused Sakaeguchi to become acutely self-conscious; aware of his pallor, his unfashionably shorn hair, the way his once-perfectly fitted jacket hung on his body. Haruna appeared in perfect, robust health, his golden skin unblemished. Even after the exertion of an all-day game, his attractiveness could not be denied. With a cautious cordiality, Sakaeguchi said, "Batsman."

"Ah," Haruna said, unimpressed. He nudged Abe, the motion telling of a kind of intimacy. "Shall we get changed and have dinner?"

"Certainly. Mind that I have to make observations tonight," Abe said, and then he cast a look to his side. "Sakaeguchi will be coming along."

"Why not?" Haruna laughed. "If he does not mind becoming the third wheel."

"Oh, no," Sakaeguchi said, lifting his hands. "I don't want to intrude."

"Yes, yes," Abe insisted, "I want you to see the sights here at Shizuoka, perhaps you'll come next year - "

"-such as they might be," Haruna said. "I might as well get Akimaru, equal out the numbers." He caught his arm around Abe's elbow, smiling at Abe in a way that Sakaeguchi couldn't ignore. 

Akimaru turned out to be a bespectacled young man with blond hair and a pleasant mien. Sakaeguchi exchanged pleasantries with him, watching Abe and Haruna walk along in front of them. Abe appeared to be unhappy with the events of the game, Haruna dismissive.  
They were bickering, yet still arm in arm, their bodies looking as if these positions had been a habit of some length. 

They came across a small, dark tavern. It appeared to be much in favor of the students at Shizuoka, and by them in particular, as Haruna announced to the tavern maid upon entry, "Put it on Abe's bill!"

Sakaeguchi felt his eyebrows lift, but didn't want to question Abe's and Haruna' familiarity. The tavern was cozy and warm, and after an initially awkward period of small chatter, he settled into listening to their talk of Shizuoka University and cricket in general. Akimaru, it turned out, was also a wicket keeper, but was held in reserve since Abe had taken the position. The conversation was most convivial, and Haruna could be quite charming.

Charming, that is, until they began speaking in actual details about the game just played. "Abe, if you hadn't let that one ball go, the whole game could have been turned around."

"Haruna," Abe returned, "If we're talking about bowling, you can stop chucking and bowl decently."

Haruna's face turned red. "I've been bowling on the team since I enrolled. You only made it on to the team because of me."

"You've only stayed on the pitch because of me," Abe rejoined, hotly.

"You don't belong - "

"Haruna," chided Akimaru. "Maybe you should watch how much you've raised your voice."

Sakaeguchi took a surreptitious look around, and while many were on the verge of look at them, many were not.

"Maybe," Akimaru continued, "You should stop drinking."

Sakaeguchi looked at the glasses on the table, the majority of which sat empty in front of Haruna. Looking closer, he saw how Haruna's cheeks were red and his eyes overbright.

"Not if you want to go to the gaming hall," Akimaru wheedled.

"What?" asked Haruna, with a kind of innocence that Sakaeguchi would have found charming, had Abe's odd expression and the general atmosphere not unsettled him. "We can't go there," Haruna said.

"Why not? No one would deny us entry there. Haven't you taken care of your vowels yet?"

"Abe -" Haruna said, turning. "Have you? Taken care of them?"

Sakaeguchi blinked. Abe flushed and looked away.

"Haruna!" Akimaru said, horrified. "You didn't ask Abe to - to -"

"Oi! Haruna!" called a reedy young man, his thin sandy-colored hair sliding over his eyes as he came up to the table. 

Haruna's eyes lit up. "Tadashi!" he exclaimed.

"Blame me if that wasn't a cracking game! Pity you lost," Tadashi said. He turned to the other people sitting at the table, who all stood. "Akimaru."

Akimaru greeted the newcomer warmly. "Tadashi."

"You going to present me to the rest of your table, Haruna?" Tadashi asked. "Or ain't I good enough?" his voice confident of the impossibility of that circumstance.

Haruna said, "Tadashi's father's got an admiralty in the navy. This is Sakaeguchi. His father is Lord Sakaeguchi."

"Ah," Sakaeguchi said, "Honored."

"Well met, Sakaeguchi," Tadashi repeated, smiling as they shook hands.

There was an excruciating length of time that passed while Abe waited to be introduced. Haruna began speaking of the game, instead. Sakaeguchi could see Tadashi's mental shrug and the slight turn of his body away from Abe as Haruna kept speaking. 

Sakaeguchi interjected, "This is Abe. We attended Nishiura together." 

Tadashi smiled. "Do you go to Shizuoka?"

"No," Sakaeguchi shook his head. "I'm visiting. All these gentlemen are doing me the favor of showing me around."

"Good men," Tadashi said, clapping a hand on Haruna's shoulder. He bade his farewells and departed, after which everyone sat back down. 

"Haruna," Akimaru scolded. "You should have introduced Abe."

"It's all right," Abe said, red creeping up his collar.

"He's not bothered, are you, Abe?" Haruna asked.

"No, I'm not bothered," Abe said, uncomfortably.

Haruna shrugged. "See?"

Sakaeguchi sipped at his draught, slowly, at the difficult silence following Haruna's justification. Finally, he said, quietly, "People who are important to you should be introduced."

"Abe knows his place," Haruna said. 

"But what of your friendship?" asked Sakaeguchi.

Haruna grinned, eyes alight with unholy amusement. "Friendship? You think that's what I have with Abe?"

Akimaru shifted uneasily in his seat, looking at the space between Abe and Haruna, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm with him because of what he does for me," Haruna said, tossing his head. 

Abe said, "Perhaps it is time to go."

Scornfully, Haruna said, "You can't tell me what to do. You are. Common."

"Haruna!" said Akimaru, horrified.

"I have no friendship with him," Haruna said to Sakaeguchi, gesturing at Abe. He turned to Abe. "You are an open purse and paid your way to socialize with me. That doesn't seem too high a price for socializing with your betters. Good for you it was only monetary." 

Abe sucked in a breath. 

"You think he doesn't know that he is required to pay his way to be in my company?" Haruna asked.

Sakaeguchi looked at Abe, who said nothing. He felt compelled to speak. "That is not friendship, Haruna. I do not know you, but to call upon someone merely because they desire your friendship - "

"It is the relationship that has always been. Are you an innocent, Sakaeguchi? Because the only way to access my company, and the company of one's betters is through the pocketbook. Abe knows this. Do you not, Abe?"

Akimaru tugged on Haruna's arm. "Haruna, I fear you have gone too far -"

"Far? How is it too far for someone such as Abe to be reminded of his place?"

Abe sat frozen in his seat. 

Haruna said, "I would stay here and drink some more."

Sakaeguchi addressed Abe. "I must return to my rooms. Will you come with me?"

"He will come with me," Haruna said.

"I believe," Sakaeguchi said abruptly standing, "the air in here has gotten quite noxious." And then he looked at Abe, and placed a hand on his arm. "Let us take our leave, Abe." 

Abe looked at Haruna, and then back at Sakaeguchi.

"Abe!" demanded Haruna.

Sakaeguchi ignored him. "Abe?"

Slowly, Abe nodded and stood. Sakaeguchi caught Haruna's eye and blinked. "Good evening, Akimaru. It was pleasant making your acquaintance." He pulled Abe to the door, collected their things and they left the club behind them.

Once out in the air, Abe finally spoke. "Are you all right?" Abe asked. "That wasn't like you."

"I will speak however I like to whomever I like," Sakaeguchi said, huffily. Then he said, "I'm sorry - if this leads to any repercussions for you."

"No - but there might be some for you."

Sakaeguchi scowled. "I do not care."

"Society is small, and Haruna's family is well-connected. Moreover, he is a gossip - "

"He was in his cups, and Akimaru will agree with me on that account." Sakaeguchi scowled. "Someone such as Haruna should not be in a position to take advantage of your generosity."

"I do not want you to regret - "

"I shan't," Sakaeguchi said. "If there is anything to regret, it is that there isn't more I can do."

Abe nodded.

Sakaeguchi looked around himself, down at the street, up at the street signs and began to laugh, a rough bark. 

"What?"

"I would go to my rooms, but I haven't got any!" he exclaimed.

"We could return- "

"Oh, no, Abe, not after what just happened in there. What unmitigated gall they would think I possess." Sakaeguchi began to laugh, rueful. "I had best see if I can find a room somewhere. The inn will hold my bags - but for how much longer I cannot say." 

Abe said, "I said you are to board with me and I meant it. Come on then."

"If you are certain - ?"

"I did offer. I have observations later this evening, if that will bother you."

"It won't."

They retrieved Sakaeguchi's bags and dropped them at Abe's rooms. Abe began gathering a variety of items; notebooks, pencils, candles, and began flinging them into a sack.

"Where are you going?"

"To the observatory. You're staying here."

"Can I come?"

Abe sighed. "It's very boring. You'd be happier here."

"Abe," Sakaeguchi said. "Show me."

Abe sighed again. "If you're quiet."

Sakaeguchi nodded, a smile in his eyes.

Abe must have seen Sakaeguchi's amusement, because he just gave a self-deprecating noise as he picked up his satchel and a lantern and said, "Come along." 

Sakaeguchi followed him out of the building, across the quad, past several buildings, across another green, then onto a small dirt path through what felt like an endless forest, farther and farther away from the lights of the buildings. They were climbed uphill the whole way, Sakaeguchi stumbling once in the dim light. Abe turned and looked at him. Where Sakaeguchi expected exasperation, there was only concern. A hand was offered. "We're nearly there."

Once Sakaeguchi recovered, he looked up and saw the leaves and branches overhead start to thin. In the clearing, a bright slice of crescent moon hung in the sky, right above a tower. They went up to the tower's large double doors. Abe pulled out a key, and opened the right hand door. Behind the door was large space taken up with a pile of boxes, a few chairs and benches piled on top of each other, and a rough wooden staircase which spiraled all the way to platform at the very top. As they climbed the stairs, Sakaeguchi saw that the platform was actually the floor of a room the width of the tower. The room which was bare but for a small table littered with writing implements, a few chairs, and a very large telescope pointing out a window-cum-porthole. 

Abe placed his lantern on the table and unpacked his items. He settled down at the seat of the base of the telescope.

Sakaeguchi only then noticed a neatly made bed with a large pile of blankets in the corner of the room. "Shall I sit here, then?"

Abe didn't look up from his notebook. "That's fine."

He sat down. The bed was big enough for two. Was Abe planning or had planned to meet someone here? Perhaps Haruna? Someone else?

Abe looked up, and Sakaeguchi caught his eye. "Abe - I'm sorry."

Abe grunted. "It's of no matter. Get some rest."

"I didn't mean to intrude?''

"You would have been more comfortable in my rooms, but might as well make the best of it."

"I genuinely apologize if I was in the way of anything this evening."

Abe paused. "Why would you think - "

Sakaeguchi looked significantly at the neatly made bed.

"Oh. Oh!" Abe was surprised into a flush. "Sometimes, the observations are done in shifts, where one person sleeps while the other makes notes and then they swap."

"I'm still sorry for this evening."

Gruffly, Abe said, "I am, too. But you did not have to act on my behalf."

"I might be sorry, but I cannot apologize for my part in it."

"Why did you do it?" Abe asked.

"Just, in these months I have been home, I've been thinking." Sakaeguchi tried to explain. "This past year has been a hard one. It has made me consider what I would do for people in my life," he said. 

"What are your conclusions?"

"Only - to take care of those important to me, as best I can." 

"I'm sorry I haven't written as much," Abe said. "I should have. I meant to."

"I understand. A lot of things are different. I should have written, also." Deciding the safest course was to change topics, Sakaeguchi asked, "Do only people with your course of study come up here?"

Abe nodded, as if the question had flowed naturally. "A few times, there have been observation parties."

That explained the chairs and benches below. "Do you observe with other people?"

"No. I don't. You're the first person I've been up here with."

Sakaeguchi smiled, a small, private smile. He was not sorry for that. "What are you looking for?"

"The Lyrids." At Sakaeguchi's silence, Abe continued, "It's a meteor shower. It happens every year. The best days are predicted to be in the next few days, but they still need to be recorded." 

As Abe continued to explain the annual phenomena, Sakaeguchi found himself yawning, wide enough to crack the joints in his jaw. "I'm sorry."

"There isn't going to be anything to see until the early morning. You might as well try to sleep."

"Will you wake me if you see anything?" He rubbed his eyes, like a small child. 

"Yes."

Sakaeguchi smiled, closing his eyes. _Just for a moment._

* * *

A sound, a creak, caused Sakaeguchi's eyes to pop open. Right into Abe's eyes. Abe who was poised, frozen, above him, holding the edge of a blanket. Sakaeguchi looked down. He didn't remember pulling the blanket on himself. Had Abe had been spreading a blanket over him? A moment passed before Sakaeguchi could remember why he was lying on an unfamiliar bed in a strange room in faint lantern-light, looking into the shadowed eyes of another man.

"What is it?" he whispered.

Abe dropped the blanket. "Go back to sleep." He backed away.

"I wasn't sleeping," Sakaeguchi protested.

"Pardon. Your snoring seemed a good indication that you were, indeed, sleeping."

"Perhaps." Sakaeguchi settled back on to the bed, his eyes slowly fluttering shut, yawning. Something heavy thudded to the floor, jarring him back to consciousness.

"Abe! I'm up!" Sakaeguchi cried out, jerking into an upright position. 

"Go back to sleep," Abe said, not turning around from his seat the table.

"I can't," Sakaeguchi said, rubbing his eyes. "You're going to make more noise and wake me up again. What're you doing?"

"I just dropped my notebook."

After some minutes, sitting, quietly, Sakaeguchi asked, "How goes the observation?"

Abe made a murky sound of disgruntlement. "It's lighter outside than I would like. It's best done without any moonlight." 

"I didn't mean to interrupt your work - "

"That's fine." After a moment, perhaps aware of Sakaeguchi's eyes boring a hole through his back, Abe got up and gestured toward the window. "Come have a look." 

Sakaeguchi approached to the telescope, his eyes instinctively going up toward the moon. 

"You don't need to do that." Abe's breathless, impatient voice approached his left side, by the window. A hand pointed. "To the left? You see that? To the left, to the left and down." 

"Where --" And then Sakaeguchi saw it. Golden lights, trailing a line of sparks, shooting across the bottom of the sky, star by star.

"What do you think?"

Abe's large hand was on his back. Sakaeguchi could only say, "Beautiful." A sudden handful of lights burst out of nowhere, shocking, arcing silver into the horizon. He turned to see Abe looking at him, eyes reflecting the slow lightening of the night sky into morning. "What do you think?"

"Beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have blended various English names into Japanese ones - it was customary to attend Cambridge and Oxford in this time period in England for 3 years before obtaining one's degree.
> 
> Here, Shizuoka is a partial stand-in for Cambridge, Nishihiro and Oki would be attending Saitama University which would be the equivalent for Oxford, which was considered the school for divinity over Cambridge, whereas Cambridge would have been noted for better mathematics wherein reality any difference was either negligible or only within the commenter's mind.
> 
> I think of a larger version of Canons Ashby as the Sakaeguchi manor home. http://www.inter360.co.uk/canonsashby/
> 
> Please forgive me. Everything I've learned about cricket I got off wikipedia in about an hour.
> 
> "chucking" - In the sport of cricket, throwing, commonly referred to as chucking, is an illegal bowling action which occurs when a bowler straightens their arm when delivering the ball.


	5. The Hanai Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lord and Lady Hanai wish to invite you to an evening to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for Suicidal Thoughts. 
> 
> The lovely and amazing [whythemadman](http://whythemadman.tumblr.com/post/103383915634/i-was-just-admiring-the-pistols) and [ Phixuscarus](http://phixuscarus.tumblr.com/post/103421690345/sakabe-regency-au-attack-not-based-in-any) have done the arts for this chapter and I couldn't be more pleased.

Sakaeguchi stepped out of the privy room, tucking the long tail of his shirt into his pantaloons, his braces hanging off the sides, as he returned to his room; a modest room with well-made but modest furnishings for its single guest. The past few days had been a blur of consultations with various men of business; solicitors, accountants, bankers. The longest visit had been with the family solicitor. It appeared that everything Mister Sato had said was true. The agreement was perfectly legal, although it could be fought in the courts if anyone was willing to hire a barrister to do so.

Sakaeguchi was not willing, not after taking Abe's feelings into consideration. Aside from the very real possibility of bad publicity, he could not allow Abe to sacrifice himself on a contract marriage. Abe deserved better than that. Sakaeguchi had been cudgeling his brains for days trying to figure out how else to deal with the situation. His stomach had been upset for much of that time, and now, just before the Hanai twins' ball, it had finally given way. After a bad bout in private, his stomach felt better, even if he had no solutions.

Sakura barely had time to knock on the door and and inform him that he had a caller before Abe pushed through the door, dressed in a black coat and pantaloons, white shirt, waistcoat and tie. Black leather dancing pumps adorned his feet.

"Abe!" Sakaeguchi said, unable to keep the surprise from his voice. This was the first time Abe had been inside his bedroom and Sakaeguchi could not help noticing how the room seemed to diminish in size with its new visitor.

Abe nodded, grimly. 

"I wasn't expecting you -"

"A gentleman keeps his word, regardless of birth rank," Abe said coolly. "You once told me that, I believe."

"I'm terribly sorry," Sakaeguchi said, trying to convey everything he wanted to apologize for in those three words. He felt like he had failed when he looked at Abe's distant expression.

Slapping his gloves against his palm, Abe said, "You're not dressed, not even nearly ready. You're going to be late. Why?"

Sakaeguchi turned red with shame. "I was in the necessary."

"You had the nervous stomach cramps," Abe stated flatly.

Sakaeguchi nodded. 

"You have those and you think you're going to propose to someone this night?"

"That's why I have them!" 

Abe made a disgusted noise. "If you cannot make it to the event, I cannot see how you can do the deed."

Grimly, Sakaeguchi said, "I don't have a choice. If you desire to leave, please do so. I will get a hackney." 

"Hurry and get dressed." Abe took off his hat, placed it and his gloves on the bed, and sat on the one chair in the room, acting as if he were fully prepared to wait, for a little while, at least.

Sakaeguchi stood in front of the mirror and pulled his braces over his shoulders. He reached for his waistcoat. Without speaking, Abe stood up. In the mirror, Sakaeguchi saw him approach from behind. "What -

Abe held the waistcoat out. "Come on, then."

Sakaeguchi shrugged into the garment and buttoned it up. He rotated his shoulders to settle the fabric. 

There was a sharp tug against his sides toward the rear. When Sakaeguchi half-turned, Abe said, his mouth close to Sakaeguchi's cheek, "Somebody needed to adjust your ties on the back. It won't sit well, otherwise."

"Thanks."

"How did you think you were going to do this?" Abe growled against his ear as Sakaeguchi felt the usual snug fit across his sides.

"Usually, my brother-in-law's valet helps me." He stepped away and reached into a drawer for a neckcloth. Even though the bureau was within an arm's reach of the mirror, Sakaeguchi felt the sudden need for space.

"You don't have a valet of your own?"

Setting himself in front of the mirror once again, Sakaeguchi said, "I've never needed one. Other people have always lent me theirs. But Yamato is busy this evening, getting ready for the party - "

"What the devil are you doing with your cravat?" Abe snapped.

Sakaeguchi looked down at his hands, which had twisted the delicate linen beyond repair.

Abe sighed, gruff. "You appear to need some assistance."

"I do not," Sakaeguchi said.

"Do not be stubborn," Abe said. "Let's deal with this quickly. Give me the cloth."

"You know how to tie a neckcloth?" Sakaeguchi tried for a tease.

"Now I do." Abe looked at the mass of wrinkles in Sakaeguchi's hands, his mouth wry. "Perhaps better than you, if this is your current process."

The tease had not worked the way Sakaeguchi had wanted it to.

"Come on, then." After procuring one from the drawer, Abe folded it into a few crisp pleats. Then he stood in front of Sakaeguchi, reaching around his neck, turning the ends up around the front and then securing it with a knot. 

Sakaeguchi wondered, uncharitably, if some of the tension behind Abe's tightly pressed lips was because of him. Their eyes met in the mirror and he said as much.

Abe sighed. "It's because you are so helpless. Why can you not do what is the easiest thing?"

Sakaeguchi tried to shrug. He was halted from moving by Abe's quick pull on the linen. "It is the right thing." 

"Why must you always do the right thing, however hard it is on you?" Abe walked around him, settling the folds of the cravat at the correct places. With a final, possibly unnecessary, possibly too vigorous, tug, Abe said, "Sometimes, you can simply accept when someone offers you assistance."

"Because I cannot ask someone to do something like that, to give up so much for me," Sakaeguchi said, meeting Abe's eyes. "You understand."

"It is because I understand that I offer," Abe said, holding out the tailcoat. 

Sakaeguchi slid one arm and then another into the sleeves. "And anyway, Yamato doesn't mind lending me his valet."

Abe walked around and adjusted the black superfine over Sakaeguchi's shoulders and arms, smoothing the wrinkles downward. "That is not about - "

"Thank you very much," Sakaeguchi said, stepping into his pumps. "I will try not to stain my ensemble or cause grief. I would not want to impose on you any further than I must." He paused. "On that other matter - it is not in the common mode of thinking, but it is bad enough that you must be a witness to the shame of me bartering my title for security. I would not wish you to be a party to it."

Then, with a gaiety that appeared only a little false. "Shall we go?"

* * *

They were announced as they entered the massive, ornately decorated ballroom of Hanai house. "Mr. Abe and Mr. Sakaeguchi."

Hanai was there to greet them. "Evening, Abe, Sakaeguchi."

Lady Hanai smiled at them both. "Thank you for coming."

"A pleasure, Lady Hanai," Sakaeguchi said, bowing over her hand. Abe gravely paid his respects.

"Let me introduce you to Miss - "

"Hoy," exclaimed Tajima as he burst into the room. "Lady Hanai, Hanai! Abe and Sakaeguchi, you're here as well?"

Lady Hanai's smile widened. "Tajima!"

Sakaeguchi was reminded of her great love of sport and corresponding fondness for players of sport.

"Yeah," Tajima said, his grin broad and infectious. "Izumi's right behind."

"Tajima," exclaimed Hanai, "You need to meet some of the other guests, not to renew the acquaintances of old schoolmates!"

"Oh, yeah, yeah," Tajima said, completely unaffected by the scold. He bounded over to Lady Hanai and asked, "Who am I be introduced to?"

Sakaeguchi dared a glance at Abe, who wore a look this side of appalled. He couldn't quite stifle a laugh. It came out a muffled snort. Abe looked back, caught Sakaeguchi's eye, and covered his impending laugh with a cough. 

"Well, as I was saying," Lady Hanai turned back to Sakaeguchi, "let me introduce you to some of my other guests."

Sakaeguchi danced the first set with a lovely and very young debutante. Too young. She was very sweet, but didn't know the first thing about life outside the schoolroom. The second set was with a slightly older girl who had a sharp wit. Too sharp. She had no hesitation about using it against what she saw as lacks in others in the room. 

The third set had been with a girl with a twinkle in her eye and a smile upon her lips. She had been of suitable age. She had traveled. She was not a beauty, but he had laughed at her quick but kind cleverness. He had recalled that she even had a respectable fortune. More than respectable, even without a title. She held his hand just long enough for him to realize that his asking for a second dance would not be unwelcome. And yet he did not ask for a second dance. He walked away regretfully, hoping that someday they might meet again as potential friends.

There were sufficient men in the room that he sat out the fourth set.

Suyama, Mizutani, Oki and Izumi were leaning up against the wall, chatting. Sakaeguchi worked around the crush of people over to his friends. "Tajima seems like he's doing well," he commented. The aforementioned swung a tall, heavy girl in pale pink around and around. Even from a distance they could see his mouth moving animatedly.

"Abe as well," Izumi said, his eyes swinging from the dance floor on over to Sakaeguchi. Abe, with the kind of precision found in fine clockwork, made his turns with a tiny red-haired girl in blue. He was not smiling, despite the girl's elaborate-looking efforts.

"Yes," Sakaeguchi said, trying to nod nonchalantly. Abe's dancing had improved, a little, in the years since their dance lessons at Nishiura. He saw a tall, yellow-haired, broad-shouldered figure in the blue, red and gold uniform of a light cavalry officer. "I see Captain Hamada has returned from the peninsula."

"Hm," Izumi uttered, blandly. "So he has."

"Lady Hanai really packed in the guests, did she not?" asked Oki, his mouth shyly turning up with amusement. 

Suyama nodded. "If you want to marry off your daughters, you need to have a superfluity of choices, I imagine."

Mizutani said, "A shame. Miss Asuka does not favor anyone."

Izumi said, "Miss Haruka appears to have given special favor to Mister Inoue." 

Sakaeguchi glanced in the direction Izumi indicated. Hanai's sister smiled up at her escort, sparkling. His other sister, in contrast, merely looked politely at her partner.

"You have no interest?" Oki asked. "I'm curious because, despite the wealth and their good looks, I find I cannot summon any."

The five of them, to a man, blanched. 

Suyama said, "We saw them grow up. They are like my sisters, if I had them, after all that time."

"Secondly," Izumi reminded them, "There is Hanai."

Sakaeguchi chuckled. "We all knew him as captain. Imagine what he would be like as an in-law and head of a family."

They all laughed as the image of former cricketing captain as a close relative struck them. 

"Who's that giving you the eye?" Izumi asked.

Sakaeguchi peered through the swirling skirts and rapidly moving limbs. To see a few familiar faces. At least one was unhappily so. 

"That's Haruna Motoki." It was easy to understand why the other men didn't know who Haruna was. Oki, Mizutani, and Hanai had gone to Saitama University, and had not pursued cricket there. Suyama had not gone to university, nor had Mihashi and Tajima.

"Who is that?" asked Mizutani.

"He and Abe are - " Sakaeguchi worked to find an appropriately polite phrasing. "No longer cordial."

"Explain," Suyama urged.

Carefully, Sakaeguchi mentioned their playing on the cricket team, a vague allusion to monetary debt, and later, Haruna's early departure from his studies. Izumi, sharp as ever, asked about a possible game fixing scandal. Sakaeguchi could neither confirm nor deny the rumors, having arrived at Shizuoka after Haruna's departure.

"Ah," Oki uttered, unsatisfied.

"There have been rumors," Suyama said. "I remember. I wonder why he's been invited."

Sakaeguchi murmured, noncommittally, "Society is not very large, and when you consider eligible partners, the circle becomes smaller still. And you cannot disregard the possibility of some kind of favor or another."

"Well," Mizutani asked, "Have you found your bride this evening?"

Sakaeguchi smiled and turned the question back toward Mizutani, who flushed a hot pink, all the way to his hairline.

Suyama smiled. "I think, yes. Mizutani has."

Mizutani asked Suyama, "And you?"

Suyama grinned. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. Oki?"

Oki gave a little shrug. "Not yet."

The dinner bell rang. While Oki and Mizutani departed, Suyama lingered back by Sakaeguchi. "So, Sakaeguchi, what is your circumstance? I know your finances are a near thing."

Sakaeguchi sighed. "I fear I cannot go about the thing properly. How does one ask a stranger for their hand because of money?"

A sad little smile sat on Suyama's face. "You will have had a dance with them."

"A dance. What can I know about someone from a single dance?"

"We have all known others who have proposed to heiresses on the night of their meeting."

"I cannot. I am not so desperate as that." Even as he spoke, Sakaeguchi felt the inner pressure of the ancient debt laid on his family, knowingly, by his great-grandfather. He hastened to add, "And even if I were so desperate, it seems a transparent and poor thing to do." 

"Mihashi did."

"Ah, well, that's another type of story." They smiled at each other. "Are you going to their house party?"

"Yes - I have it on good faith that there's to be cricket - " Suyama's eyes widened at something beyond Sakaeguchi's shoulder.

Sakaeguchi turned to catch a glimpse of their host's tense face. Swiftly, he said, "Congratulations to your mother. She's managed a complete crush."

"Ah," Hanai said, caught off-guard. "Thank you." 

"We are here to serve," Suyama added. 

"Good," Hanai said, visibly straightening. "Come with me, there are more introductions to be made."

* * *

As the evening began to come to a close, Sakaeguchi slid off in search of a hiding spot. He had gone through the exercise of a few more dances, the light supper, clever and inoffensive conversation, then more dances. He had been through a handful of Seasons, enough that the routine and manners had moved from worrisome to smooth practice to tinged with boredom. While he enjoyed it, he was tired. He was glad the Season would soon be over and the ton would return to their country estates.

Guests had begun to scatter. Sakaeguchi walked through the Hanai manor, discreetly avoiding a few couples in possibly scandalous clinches and some staff until he reached the large expanse of library. Lord Hanai enjoyed his books, Lady Hanai her sport, and somehow, those tastes mingled in this single space.

Several chairs lay scattered about with small conversation tables, while on the walls shelves reached up to the ceiling and thick Aubusson carpets covered the wood plank floors. Paintings of dogs and hunts, a few of cricket, a framed print of a boxing match lined the walls. Cricket bats hung above the mantle. A wall cabinet held handguns, rifles and swords in an array of vintages. A large globe sat in its floor stand in the center of the room while a moveable set of library stairs leaned up against the wall.

The evening was nearly spent and he had not, could not, as Abe had said, do the deed. He still felt that not acting was the right thing. In his mind, however, Sakaeguchi felt as though he were falling deeper and deeper into a well of loss. Perhaps the entailment would survive, even if the possessions, similar to those in this room, were gone. Perhaps Yukihiro would do better than he.

Sakaeguchi eyed a set of dueling pistols, surely they must be prized because of their location towards the top of the display cabinet. Slowly, he got upon the library stairs and touched them, tracing a finger over the beautiful gilded wood. A modern set, most likely Manton's, due to their trigger mechanism and fine balance. His father had a few sets, much older than the one Sakaeguchi was currently holding. His favorite had ivory grips inlaid with silver, made by an ancient, foreign armorer. Those would sell fairly quickly when everything was set to auction. He hoped, anyway. Best be quick than linger.

Everything gone. 

He had thought that perhaps he ought to do away with himself, but the idea was quickly rejected. He had not lived through his mother's passing to voluntarily leave his family, especially in such a dire situation. He did not, ultimately, blame his great-grandfather. Such results could not be foreseen, and what good would it do anyway - the needs of the present always pressed harder than the concerns of the future. 

"Sakaeguchi!" 

Startled out of his dark study, Sakaeguchi turned, too swiftly, wobbling on the step of the library stairs. He tried to gain his balance, throwing out an arm to grab the shelf in front of him.

"Oi- " Abe cried out, his eyes wide with alarm. He sprinted into the library toward Sakaeguchi. As Sakaeguchi tried to find purchase on the narrow steps, Abe leapt into him, driving the air from his body, bearing down onto the floor. Abe grasped his arm and slammed it upon the ground. The gun fell out of Sakaeguchi's nerveless hand. It hit the ground, went off with a bang. 

Stunned, Sakaeguchi gaped like a fish trying to catch his breath, while Abe sat on top of him, straddling his body. Abe tore open Sakaeguchi's jacket, his cravat and his waistcoat, running his hands all over his torso. "Sakaeguchi! Are all you right? Say something!" And then, anguished, soft, _"Yuuto!"_

Sakaeguchi coughed.

"I don't see any blood," Abe said, looking at his palms.

"What're you doing?" exclaimed Sakaeguchi, once he got his voice back.

"I'm asking you the same!" cried Abe.

"I was just admiring the pistols!"

"What - ?" Abe looked at him in pure confusion.

"Get off!" Sakaeguchi demanded. He bucked his hips, trying to lever Abe off. "It's bad enough you're tearing the clothes off me!"

"Give me a minute," Abe returned. "I just want to make sure you're well. That you're not going to off yourself because of your ruin!"

"This isn't going to be my ruin," Sakaeguchi countered, twisting violently beneath Abe's greater weight. "You and your great squashing thighs!" He raised his hands and shoved at the aforementioned body part.

"Stop!" Abe said, grabbing Sakaeguchi's hands, taking them above his head and holding them to the floor. 

They panted, staring at each other, muscles tensely bunched under their evening wear. Sakaeguchi attempted a kick, only to have Abe shift his weight, slide down his body, and then have that self-same limb be weighted down by Abe wrapping a long, muscular leg around his. 

"I said, stop!" 

"If anybody finds us, this position will compromise us both!" Sakaeguchi hissed, looking up the very small distance to Abe's face, aware of Abe's front-lying posture on top of him and his own deshabille.

"Ruin?" asked a voice over their shoulders. "Position? Compromise?"

Sakaeguchi felt the life drain out of him. Abe reddened. As one, they turned their heads to the source. 

Haruna looked down at them from the open doorway of the library, one out of many curious guests who were gathered about, peering into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The development of the metal percussion cap is dated somewhere before1820, and the commercial spread is in dispute - somewhere between 1815-1830's (historicalhussies.blogspot.com/2014/03/regency-pistols-and-duels.html, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percussion_cap, http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/451162/percussion-cap). I went with a very modern dueling pistol and an earlier date for the sake of making this chapter slightly less ridiculous whilst still maintaining an (possibly false) aura of having done a little research.
> 
> (the chapter wherein I descend into farce)
> 
> library inspo: http://www.beautiful-libraries.com/3500-1.html


	6. After the Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scandal management, as coordinated by Lady Hanai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for alcohol.
> 
> Please love this [piece](http://phixuscarus.tumblr.com/post/104744165825/sealing-the-agreement-chapter-6-debt-of-honor) by the eternally awesome phixuscarus. Not just because I do, but because it is beautiful.

Like that, the ball was over.

Hanai managed the crowds, quickly calling for their dispersal, despite the overwhelming number of guests who suddenly felt as though the evening had just begun. 

Abe and Sakaeguchi sat in the library, awaiting their sentence. "This could be it," Sakaeguchi said. "My ruin."

"It looked much worse than what it was."

"You and I both know that. No one else will." After a moment, he looked over at Abe, who looked pale and distant. He reached out and clapped a hand onto Abe's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"No - no, you're right. I'm sorry for my part in it."

"What Haruna might be saying now," Sakaeguchi fretted.

Abe shut his eyes and dropped his head. 

"Where are your parents?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"They'll need to be told. They left with Shun quite a bit ago, before everyone saw the - the - thing." He groaned at the memory. "What of your sister?"

Sakaeguchi said, "Thank heavens Wakako is already married. She had left already, but you know how society works. Someone will have told her tomorrow morning latest. It will take a few days for the gossip to reach Papa, if he even cares. As for Yukihiro - " It was his turn to groan, covering his face with his hands. "Everything is ruined."

Hanai entered the library and sank into a chair near them. "Well. You have made a right mess of things."

"We are aware," Abe said, caustic.

"I have to say, this is not something I thought I would have to deal with either of you," Hanai said.

"Hanai," Sakaeguchi protested. "It's not like it was anything like it looked!"

"Hear, hear," Abe agreed.

Lady Hanai entered the room. "I have settled the girls, so now what is left is settling this matter."

Sakaeguchi scrambled to stand. "My deepest apologies, Lady Hanai. I fear that things will not be understood and I want -"

She walked over to the globe, and by virtue of an invisible latch, opened it up. Inside sat a full bottle of scotch and a set of short, stout glasses. She poured herself a hefty portion and downed it.

"Mother!" Hanai said, scandalized.

She refilled her glass and held it out to Hanai. After a brief hesitation, he took it. "I am concerned about the effects of the incident on my daughters' chances for marriage, but since none of my children were involved, I imagine it might have fewer repercussions than it would otherwise. The idea that some of my guests, nevermind they being associates of my son, were found lying on my library floor, frantically undressing each other while calling each other other's names - well. Whatever you two were trying to accomplish, some discretion in that area would have been much advised."

A small quirk of her lips. "On the other hand, it was a good way to clear the house. One always has trouble with those last stragglers. And there is the benefit of being the location of tomorrows' on-dits, but not having relations actively being gossiped about. Certainly, no one will forget this event." She nodded. "On balance, I am more irritated that there is now a bullet in my wall than over the incident proper."

"I will rectify - " Abe immediately said.

She waved him away. "No, no, the story is better than a patch. More important than my silly decor is what is to be done about the both of you and how you will be received in the future. I think, in this matter, it is something to do with honor and how you will spend the rest of your lives."

She poured a finger of amber liquid into two glasses and handed each to the addressee in turn. "Sakaeguchi, I think you know that few reputable women will have you now, with this incident and your financial difficulties. Abe, money may purchase a great deal, but respectability and honor, once lost, cannot be easily regained."

"It is difficult," she sighed, "but marriage might be the only solution. We can find some suitable partner for each of you, I know of a few who might do - "

"What a farce." Sakaeguchi drained the liquor, feeling the burn as the alcohol made its way down his throat, and put down the glass on the low table in front of him. "What can I explain to the lady to whom I am to propose: 'the rumor of Mister Abe and I on the floor of the Hanai manor? Nay, Mister Abe was merely, mistakenly, wrestling a gun away from me.' "

"That's what it was!" Abe protested.

"And then you proceeded to strip me - "

"I was trying to see if you were hurt! And you were resisting!"

"My resistance should have proven the fair state of my health!" Sakaeguchi retorted. He dropped his head into his hands. "I have gone beyond simple financial ruin to complete and utter social isolation." 

"As I was saying, I might know of some who might take either of you - I and Lord Hanai have some connections - "

Abe said, chin firm, "We have done this, however unintended, and we will bear the responsibility. It was clear what our duties are to our families and to each other's social position. We shall marry."

"Abe - !" Sakaeguchi choked. "I would not - "

Abe reached over and grabbed Sakaeguchi's hand. "I would not have it this way, but there is no choice."

"But - " Sakaeguchi began. "Surely - "

Lady Hanai nodded and stood. "Come, Hanai. We shall leave Abe and Sakaeguchi to discuss this amongst themselves."

After their hostess left, they were silent a moment. 

"Abe - "

"Sakaeguchi - "

Their voices overlapped. 

Sakaeguchi said, "Did you hear me when I spoke of why I refused?"

"I did. Do you not understand that, beyond the events of this evening, I am already involved?"

"Certainly by the actions of your forebear. But you are a dear friend and such details of my person must be shameful."

"Not the actions of my forebear. Me. I. Am involved. I have responsibilities also on that matter. Such details are only shameful if you let them be. If we go through with this, it changes nothing. The money is long gone - I never saw it, and you had no knowledge, so it is as if it never was." Pink touched Abe's cheeks as he moved to stand in front of Sakaeguchi. "If it helps, I will get down on my knees." He dropped, moving to suit his words.

"Abe - please - there is no need to do that," Sakaeguchi exclaimed, rising, lifting up his hands to halt the gesture, bringing up Abe with him. "Please, I just need to know - before I can give you any kind of answer - is there anyone else I should know about? Did you intend marriage or companionship with another? Because I cannot, in good conscience, take someone else's place."

Sakaeguchi looked at Abe during the pregnant pause. He looked at the ground, pale and tense. Sakaeguchi's heart stopped. 

Finally, Abe said, "There is no one else."

It was only with Abe's words that Sakaeguchi could feel his heart begin to work again. He looked into Abe's eyes and nodded. "Then, I will, gratefully, humbly, accept," his voice came out soft, stumbling, sticking to to the lump in his throat. He tried again. "I hope I do you the honor that you have done unto me. I will marry you."

"Let us call the Hanais back."

Lady Hanai must have anticipated their answer, because she entered carrying a bottle of champagne. "Let's toast to your impending nuptials."

Hanai inspected the label, his tone suspicious. "Did you serve this at the ball?"

She appeared genuinely affronted. "Of course not. This is better than the catlap I had going around. Hanai, do the honors." Then she laughed, rueful. "At least there will be one confirmed marriage out of this bloody ball."

* * *

The morning after Sakaeguchi awoke with a groan, wincing at the peculiar position of the light through his thin eyelids. He felt terrible. He cracked open an eye. He was in his bed, but in an odd position. His clothes were all in a disarray. He had managed to take off his shoes, that much he was glad to note.

He remembered draining one and then another and possibly a third bottle of Lady Hanai's best champagne. He remembered Lady Hanai telling stories of some of the great scandals of her youth. He remembered laughing, sometimes in quite pointed recognition of the situations the people got themselves into. He remembered Hanai loading them both into a carriage. He remembered leaning up against Abe, giggling. He remembered the way Abe smelled, of wool and exertion and fine champagne and the faintest memory of soap. He remembering speaking to Abe, but what? Abe had not laughed in response. If anything, he had become more rigid and distant to Sakaeguchi's conversation.

Good heavens, what had he said that made Abe like that? Sakaeguchi shivered in apprehension. He couldn't have possibly said -

With another groan, he staggered over to necessary and proceeded to empty his innards. After he felt he had nothing left inside his body, he washed his mouth out, threw on a banyard and stumbled down to his study.

* * *

"Sakaeguchi!"

The bellow sounded much like Abe. At the call of his name, Sakaeguchi huddled further into his banyan. On second thought, he pulled any papers from the desktop into the top drawer of his great-grandfather's desk and hastily shut it. He wasn't about to have Abe, old friend or not, ruin another set of important figures.

"What is it?" he replied, weakly. His head was pounding, his mouth was dry. He could not remember being this hung over, ever.

"You receiving?" 

Sakura hustled in behind Abe, her skin pink with exertion. Her round face looked at Abe with some reproach. "Mister Sakaeguchi - Mister Abe - "

The room was already small, the a close space with a desk and two chairs. Sakaeguchi didn't mind when he was alone. However, with three people and a door that swung inward, it was positively cramped. 

Sakaeguchi waved at her. Softly, so as not to disturb his head, he said, "It's all right, Sakura. Would you like tea, Abe?" Without waiting for his reply, Sakaeguchi asked for enough for two. 

Sakura nodded and closed the door behind her.

"Now," Sakaeguchi said, softly, deliberately, unable to speak his irritation over the terrible pain in his head. "What is happening that you've overset the maid twice in one week? Have you come to lord over my wretchedness?" 

Out of an interior pocket of his jacket, Abe pulled a tall slender bottle filled with a nasty green and yellow liquid. "I came to deliver this."

"Ugh," Sakaeguchi said, shuddering. His eyes hurt. He tried to focus on the note hung on a ribbon around the neck of the bottle. 

Exasperated, Abe uncorked it and extended the bottle. "Just drink it."

"What is it?" Sakaeguchi sniffed, suspiciously. The contents smelled freshly herbal, at odds with its appearance, a broken yellow and green chunkiness akin to cream gone especially foul.

"It's from Lady Hanai. She sent me both bottles this morning."

"What is it?"

Abe picked up the note and read: "Lady Hanai sends her greetings, aware that the morning after a ball and particularly that after a scandal, one might require something to recover from the thing that helped one recover."

"Did you drink it?"

Abe nodded.

Sakaeguchi looked Abe over, as thoroughly as his aching head and tired eyes allowed. Abe seemed as if he had never touched a drop of the devil's brew.

"Did it work?"

"Yes."

Sakaeguchi lurched over the desk to grab the bottle.

"You have to drink the whole thing," Abe warned.

Sakaeguchi curled his lip at the smell, groaned and then quaffed. His stomach felt like violently disgorging halfway through the disgustingly creamy tincture, but he persevered. At the end, his mouth began to taste better, more like fresh mint and less like the mess on the docks left behind for the seagulls and cats. He finished and dropped the bottle, chest heaving. Minutes passed. He lifted his head. "Blessings upon Lady Hanai," he said fervently. " I could kiss you - I mean, thank you very much for delivering this."

Abe tipped his head.

Sakaeguchi paused. "Do you think Lady Hanai made us drunk on purpose? So we would feel terrible the next day? So much we required this remedy?"

"Why?" Abe wondered. "Revenge?" 

Awareness lit up both their faces. "Lady Hanai is a fearsome creature."

"You did shoot up her library wall."

"YOU!" Sakaeguchi winced at his own yell. Apparently, the magic cure didn't cover all the effects. "You made me do it!"

"However do you mean?" Abe looked genuinely surprised.

"I was just admiring the pistols, Abe - " Sakaeguchi began. He halted. There didn't appear to be a point to this conversation. He brought a hand up to his forehead and sighed. "Now, is there anything else that brings you to my study, in the morning, before breakfast and polite company, yet again?"

"There is a matter of a wedding. Our wedding."

"Wedding. Good lord, we're getting married." Sakaeguchi dropped his head to the top of the desk, feeling the cool dry surface against his skin. "I am going to have to inform Wakako." 

"Now?"

Sakaeguchi closed his eyes tightly. He could not begin to anticipate his sister's reaction to the news of his engagement or the manner in which he had became engaged. "Let us wait."

"So you have not informed your family." 

"No. I wasn't fit to do it last night. I don't think."

"You don't remember coming home last night?" Abe inquired, looking at Sakaeguchi closely.

"No," Sakaeguchi admitted, coloring under the inspection.

Abe nodded.

"Should I?" asked Sakaeguchi.

"You, ah, required some assistance in getting to bed." Abe shifted uneasily on the chair.

"Did you help me?"

Abe nodded. 

"You took off my clothes? My shoes?"

Abe tipped his head.

"Good lord," exclaimed Sakaeguchi. "My apologies, I don't remember what happened, but anything I did or said I apologize for."

This oddly, had the effect of making Abe look a tad surly. "No matter, Sakaeguchi. I can't take someone seriously who was as tap-hackled as you were last night."

Sakaeguchi sighed and settled back. 

"You woke your sister up last night."

"Good lord," exclaimed Sakaeguchi again. "She was likely murderous."

"She was not happy," Abe said.

"Then I definitely think that we should tell her later. Merely - this morning is not a good time."

"We do need to attend to this soon. Mister Sato's deadline is approaching," Abe warned.

"Duly noted."

"We should discuss a few other things as well." 

Sakaeguchi waited. When there was nothing forthcoming, he prompted, "Feel free to proceed."

"What shall we do about names?"

"I have not thought about it," Sakaeguchi admitted. "I admit cannot imagine calling you anything different, that's not - do you want that I should refer to you as Takaya? Husband? Spouse? Mister Abe? I will do what you prefer, although I confess that I am used to calling you Abe after these many years."

At 'Takaya,' Abe had a creeping red in his cheeks although his expression didn't change. "I meant we should use your last name as our family name, as you have precedence."

"Oh! If you want to," Sakaeguchi said, wishing he was holding something he could fiddle with to cover up his confusion. "You could keep your name, if you like."

"We should do something," Abe insisted.

After thinking a moment, Sakaeguchi said, "Perhaps, perhaps we could combine? A double-barrel. If you don't find it insulting."

"Sakaeguchi-Abe?" Abe considered. "Perhaps. If you wouldn't consider it beneath you -"

"You know I care nothing for that. A name is a name, and we can only live up to it as best we can." A thought struck Sakaeguchi. "Would you need to see my solicitor? I can give you an accounting, but if you have any questions - "

"I will send mine 'round to yours. But is there anything particular you want to say?"

Sakaeguchi said, "The title will fall to my brother, as will most of the lands that are part of the entailment. There is a portion of the property that is freehold, but I would also like those for Yukihiro."

"That sounds reasonable. I will also arrange an allowance and settlement for you."

Sakaeguchi choked. "That sounds… that sounds much too generous. The income from the lands is more than sufficient for my needs, once the debt is cleared."

"I think it is important to enable your security and independence should anything happen."

"Thank you," Sakaeguchi said humbly.

"We should go through the details of the family debt."

Sakaeguchi opened a drawer and handed over the ledger. In its lines was a sum that could drive many men from the room. Abe flipped it open, ran a quick finger down the latest column of notations, lips tightening, and nodded. "That is not nearly as bad as I feared."

"If you are sure?"

"I will take this to my people, and if anything is awry, they will let me know."

"I am acquainted with the bishop, so procuring the license and any special dispensation should be no hardship. After that, there only remains the wedding itself," Sakaeguchi said. 

"And after that, we will need to see Mister Sato and tell him the terms have been met, the marriage has occurred and the debt is resolved."

"One more thing," Sakaeguchi said, hesitant.

"There is more? I think we have covered the most important ground."

"I suppose - I suppose you are right," Sakaeguchi subsided. He felt there was one matter that Abe might be interested in knowing before their nuptials, but since he himself felt uneasy about it, he decided to let it go. They would discuss it later. After a moment, he said, "Shall we shake on it, then?" He extended his arm.

"This feels bloody uncomfortable," Abe commented.

Sakaeguchi nodded. "I can go around the desk, at least. To shake hands." Then he followed action to his words. He walked over to Abe and held out his hand again. There was a knock and the door flung open, into Sakaeguchi's back, shoving him into Abe's arms, which had opened in response to catch him. Sakaeguchi looked up into Abe's face, the dark eyes looking down at him, the firmness of the body as it stood in front of him, one of Abe's knees between his.

"Sir?" Sakura's worried voice came around the door.

"Leave the tea on the desk and close the door when you go, please," Sakaeguchi said, not looking away from Abe's face, so close now. "Thank you."

Sakaeguchi stood there, listening to the clatter of the tray and the silverware on the desk, not daring to breathe for the sake of alerting Sakura to their position, not daring to breathe for the sake of becoming even more physically entangled with Abe than he currently was. Abe looked over his shoulder toward the desk. Sakaeguchi could feel the slight relaxation of Abe's body once Sakura left his field of vision. 

Once the door shut behind Sakura, after the sound of the latch settling in to the keeper, Abe shifted, making to move away. Sakaeguchi realized that Abe couldn't move without pushing him aside. About to shift his feet and step away, a sudden impulse came to him. Sakaeguchi grabbed the lapels of Abe's jacket and tugged downward, leaning up, not quite on his toes. "This is might be a better way to seal the agreement."

Abe blinked once, twice, rapidly, then as he realized what was happening, his surprised inhalation was audible. Even though Abe was half a head taller, the difference didn't seem so great to Sakaeguchi now. Their lips met, a touch, a brush, a passing allusion of a kiss. Abe's mouth, which Sakaeguchi had considered too much in the past, was soft, rather, his lips were soft, the skin smooth for all their stern attitude. The two of them separated just enough for them to make out each other's face. Light brown eyes met dark grey eyes in a question. Abe's hands came to rest lightly, tentatively, at the sides of Sakaeguchi's waist.

Their lips met again through hesitant, shaky breathing. Abe tasted like Lady Hanai's herbal hangover remedy. Sakaeguchi suspected he himself tasted much the same. It was not a bad taste to have as one's first kiss. He wanted more of Abe, more ways of touching Abe's lips with his own. He pressed a little, reaching the corners of Abe's mouth. Opening his mouth, he licked with just the tip of his tongue, suddenly understanding that he had always wanted to know what it had felt like, tasted like, to be Abe's frown, and one of his rare smiles. He felt Abe's gasp and then the convulsive clenching of the hands at the top of his own hips.

The power to make Abe do anything, much less affect him this way, was as heady as the fine, long-hoarded champagne from last night. Headier. 

Much like the drink from last night, Sakaeguchi wanted more.

There was an urge to get closer, a wicked want to make Abe gasp again. Sakaeguchi leaned further against Abe's body, sliding his arms up over Abe's neck. Abe widened his stance, his body welcoming. Again, their lips met, becoming familiar, yet it was new, a sensation that he could repeat over and over and over, tirelessly.

Abe's warm mouth moved the short distance from Sakaeguchi's mouth, along his jaw and then down on his neck, nosing aside the open collar of the dressing gown, leaving behind a trail of fire. Sakaeguchi felt Abe's teeth just under his ear, and he shuddered. His knees threatened to collapse, and he tightened them around Abe's thighs, trying to gain more purchase. He wanted more.

The door sprang open, slapping against Sakaeguchi's back, causing him to exhale into a loud grunt.

"Yuuto!" Wakako's face appeared around the edge of the door, and her eyes widened. "YUUTO! Get out from behind there! You too, Abe."

Shame-faced, Sakaeguchi slid out from behind the door, shortly followed by Abe. Wakako was standing in the doorway, Mister Yamato behind her, trying to look disinterested.

Wakako held out a sheet of thick paper, covered with a fine copperplate. "I have received word from Lady Hanai about your behavior last night. I would not have given credence to a single letter but the events of last night and then this current display makes me most concerned." She put her hands on her hips. "I do believe we need to talk."

"Oh, I think - " Sakaeguchi began.

"Not you, him," Wakako gestured toward Abe. 

"Wakako - it's not what it seems - " Sakaeguchi protested. 

"Is Lady Hanai incorrect about the events? The pistol? The - the - spectacle of your public writhing on the floor of the library? This embrace that I have just come upon?"

"Wakako, when you say it like that, you make it sound most indelicate," Sakaeguchi continued to protest.

"Give me evidence that it is not," Wakako insisted, a trifle hysterically. "Yuuto, last night, I came upon Abe undressing you. He was nowhere near as drunk as you, so tell me, what am I to believe?"

"Were you?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"Yes, but I can explain," Abe said, coloring. 

"Yes. Please do tell me your explanation." Wakako folded her arms over her chest.

"You were having trouble," Abe said. "And you - "

"And I," Sakaeguchi's eyes shot over from Abe's horrific embarrassment to his sister and her husband. "I am going to introduce you to my fiance, Abe."

Wakako looked stunned. With a visible effort to remain calm, she said, "Then, I need a moment to talk to Abe. Alone."

"Whatever for? We have already discussed the settlement, and I will leave shortly for the license -" Sakaeguchi said.

"Your friendship would not allow for a rational discussion," Wakako said, sternly. "Not between the two of you."

Abe nodded. "It is best I speak with your sister, Sakaeguchi."

"Best let it happen, Sakaeguchi." Mister Yamato, clapping a hand on Sakaeguchi's shoulder as they made their way to the drawing room. "Your sister has a way of getting what she wants."

After what appeared to be a suspiciously long time, Wakako and Abe emerged. She smiled at Sakaeguchi, her face surprisingly gentle. "It's done. Shall we have breakfast now?"

At the table, Sakaeguchi asked Abe, so as not to garner undue attention, "What did you talk about?"

Abe shifted uncomfortably. "I think that's best between your sister and me."

Unsatisfied, Sakaeguchi asked, "How did you get her to calm down?"

"She seemed calm. After discussing the ruin of our lives after last night." Abe winced at the memory. "I think the letter to your sister too might have been part of Lady Hanai's revenge for her party."

Wakako said, "Now that you are an engaged couple and not simply two friends without any romantic interest in each other, your behavior needs to be monitored for as long as you are affianced."

"Whatever for?" Sakaeguchi asked, ruffling at the idea of his freedom being curtailed. "We've been in each other's company for years without anyone batting an eye. Why must our actions be a cynosure now? It's not like either one of us can bear a child out of wedlock."

"While true, that is most indelicate." Wakako frowned at him in a way that reminded Sakaeguchi she was a mother of young children and well on the way to becoming a veritable dragon of propriety. "An engagement is not a license for bad behavior. Especially for people of our class, regardless of gender. Invigilate yourselves for the sake of your reputations, and your family's. And if, heaven forbid, the engagement were broken -"

"We won't do that," Abe interjected.

Mister Yamato said, complacent, "Of course not. A man's word is his bond. One would never want that to be in question."

"After your wedding, you can do whatever you want to do. After this morning's scene I shall be glad to be done with you." Then she added, wearily, "I sincerely hope Yukihiro is not the trouble you turned out to be."


	7. Arrangements and Entanglements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the families. An old debt is paid. Many things come under consideration.
> 
> Romantic close-calls ensue. Sentimental claptrap and humbug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I commissioned Phixuscarus for [this piece](http://phixuscarus.tumblr.com/post/104932852030/commission-regency-au-sakabe-for-mmmbuttery) and it is so gorgeous, I can't believe.

"Good morning, Abe," Sakaeguchi greeted the other man as he approached, riding a tall roan gelding. He was dressed in buff pantaloons, riding boots and a navy jacket.

Abe's dark eyes took in Sakaeguchi's bay, along with his own riding costume of Hessians, buff buckskins and claret jacket. "Good morning." He tipped his hat toward Sakaeguchi's companion. 

Lady Hanai nodded, seated on her own grey mare in an eye-catching red riding habit. "Abe."

"Lady Hanai." Abe turned his horse on the sandy, tree-lined trail so as to join them.

"It's a lovely day for a ride, isn't it?" Sakaeguchi commented, looking at the clear blue sky above them. He smiled. "Good to see you." 

Seeing Abe was nothing new. He had spent a great deal of time with Abe recently. Almost every day of this week, as a matter of fact. Pointedly, Lady Hanai had noted that none of that time that should be construed as anything but the construction of the concept of them as a happy couple. 

"One of the things you have to do is to appear with each other, a great deal. And to look do try to look as if you enjoy each other's company," Lady Hanai had suggested, her voice dry.

As a result, Abe and Sakaeguchi went out with each other a great deal, accompanied by Lady Hanai, Wakako, Mister Yamato, and Lord Hanai. They went to the opera, they went to routs and dances. They had gone to the regatta. They were seen together at the annual cricket match between Saitama and Shizuoka, along with a group of friends from Nishiura. 

Abe had started to protest about the amount of chaperones, only to be reproved by Hanai. Lord and Lady Hanai were tangled up in this scandal and friendship, if not propriety, dictated that they acted like they knew about the goings-on, even if they were not exactly involved in them. 

It would have been funny, had the situation not been so serious, and any untoward action so easily proscribed. 

This morning, they were riding along Rotton Row together. Every few feet, they greeted friends and acquaintances, chattering away, smiling, spreading the good news of their engagement.

"Sakaeguchi!" called a voice from behind. 

When he turned, Sakaeguchi recognized Akimaru. Riding with him was a woman in pale green with similar features. A sister, perhaps. 

"Good morning," Sakaeguchi greeted. "Crowded this morning, isn't it?" Out of the corner of his eye, he noted that Abe had seen Akimaru as well.

"Crowded, yes, but tis the place to see and be seen," Akimaru agreed. "How have you been? It's been a while since I've run into you."

"I've been well," Sakaeguchi said pleasantly. 

"Good morning," said Abe, urging the tall roan into the gap between Sakaeguchi's and Akimaru's animals, causing Akimaru to concentrate on the sideways sidling steps of his horse momentarily.

"Morning, Abe," Akimaru greeted. Concern creased his brow. "And you, are you well, also?"

"Yes," Abe said, unsmiling. "Better, since Sakaeguchi has agreed to accept my offer."

"In marriage?" Akimaru asked, surprised.

"Is there another way?" Abe raised an eyebrow.

"Aye, I did agree," Sakaeguchi said, smiling. "Most happily."

"Haruna said you were - " began Akimaru.

"Imagine," Lady Hanai interrupted, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "it all happened at my house. A small lovers' quarrel that some how gets all blown out of proportion through ridiculous tiddle-taddle. But it doesn't make for much of a story, does it?"

Akimaru paused, looking stricken over his potential indiscretion, as well as the likelihood of Abe's planting him a facer over it. "N-no, I suppose not."

"Some people might feel that Abe is the one who is the more fortunate in our forthcoming union," Sakaeguchi said, gently. "However, I strongly believe the boot is on the other foot. I am the one who is lucky that Abe chose me."

"Send our greetings to Haruna, next time you see him. Won't you?" Abe said, turning away dismissively.

"I believe that was handled well," Lady Hanai commented, once Akimaru was out of earshot.

"I would wish him and all his gossipy acquaintance to Jericho," snorted Abe.

"I meant Sakaeguchi's behavior," she said.

Before Abe could open his mouth, Sakaeguchi placed a hand on Abe's wrist. "What I said, it's nothing but true," he said. "That's all Akimaru can report, if he chooses to."

"You did not do too badly, either," she said to Abe. "It's the done thing that couples are not seen to be too attached, yet I believe it to be well done when a man chooses to protect his betrothed." 

"I - " Abe looked sidelong towards Sakaeguchi, his face coloring up. "I would have done it regardless."

"Yes," Lady Hanai said, the corner of her mouth turning up. "That's what a gentleman would say. Don't you think, Mister Sakaeguchi?"

Abe had a long-standing inability to accept compliments and his simultaneous pleasure in them. Sakaeguchi saw no reason to not further provoke. He made sure to catch Abe's eye, and he smiled playfully. "Indeed, my lady. That is exactly what I think."

His statements were more than adequately rewarded at the sight of Abe's furiously red cheeks and soft, vulnerable mouth which seemed to have lost, at least temporarily, its ability to scowl.

* * *

The first meetings are always supposed to be awkward, Sakaeguchi thought, trying to find some comfort in the truism as he looked around the dinner table at his prospective in-laws, Shun, and Abe. Mister Abe was a large, comfortable version of Abe, Mrs. Abe was a tall, slight woman who carried the air of a former beauty, and Shun seemed a quintessential younger brother, similar in appearance to Abe but completely dissimilar in temperament, as playful and earnest as a puppy. 

The invitation had arrived this morning, hand-delivered by Abe, who had started off with the off-handed comment, "Did you know we're renting a new house in Grosvenor Square?" Then he presented his mother's burning desire to meet Sakaeguchi and her rapid-fire burst of preparation for the evening. "I told her you've already met, but she doesn't think the introductions at Nishiura or Saitama are the same. But if you're already otherwise occupied, I don't believe she would be too upset."

"I don't believe I am occupied," Sakaeguchi had said. 

Abe had scratched his ear. "I'll tell her. You would not believe some of the Banbury tales that she's come up with to cover the fact she hasn't had a proper family dinner with you yet. Not since the announcement's come out and every one of her acquaintance has been asking about you."

"What does she say?"

"Some faradiddle about meeting you and how charming you are and how she approves of the match." 

"Is that all?"

"She made my father cancel a meeting and Shun was told to be present for dinner tonight."

Given that information, there was no way Sakaeguchi could turn down dinner with his prospective in-laws.

"I don't believe I've ever sat down to dinner with your family, Abe," Sakaeguchi said, spooning up his first taste of the soup. 

"Huh," Abe answered. "I guess it took getting engaged to do it."

"We shall also work on getting you married, Shun," Mrs. Abe said. "Now that Sakaeguchi will be part of the household, perhaps he will be able to introduce you around to some eligible young women."

"I shall do my best, Mrs. Abe, but Abe is as well-known in our circles as I," Sakaeguchi said.

"You are being too modest, Sakaeguchi," Mrs. Abe said.

"Ha," said Mister Abe. "Taka was a difficult boy, and knowing him would probably not increase Shun's chances of meeting anyone."

"You got the license today, didn't you?" asked Shun.

"Yes," Sakaeguchi said.

"Was it difficult to get the dispensation from the Bishop?" asked Shun.

"No," Abe said. 

"He didn't ask about love?" Shun wondered.

"Didn't come up." Abe shrugged.

"It's just that a special license - "

"We just had to bandy about some words about respecting the church and its traditions, fork out some blunt and sign away our ability to ever kick up a lark again," Abe drawled.

"You are making a May game of me," Shun breathed, irritated. 

"Don't make a cake of yourself then," returned Abe.

"Seems like it's important to know, whether the person you're marrying cares for you at all," Shun muttered.

Abe appeared ready to get up and dig both knuckles into his younger brother's temples.

"A marriage license ain't something to get mawkish over," Mister Abe announced, shooting an alarmed look at both his sons.

"I believe," Sakaeguchi said, not loudly, but clearly enough to break the tension, "that through our long acquaintance, Abe and I have grown tolerably fond of one another." He dropped his eyes to the new machine-woven cotton and lace tablecloth, and looked back up at Abe through his lashes, smiling.

Everyone looked at Abe, who seemed capable of doing nothing but looking back, the corners of his mouth slowly turning up.

"Well," said Mister Abe, clearing his throat.

Shun stared at Abe, and then to Sakaeguchi, and then back at his elder brother, mouth hanging open.

"Ah," breathed Mrs. Abe, settling back into her chair. She smiled. A servant came to whisper in her ear. "Here comes the next course."

Mister Abe stood as the the beef joint and the carving utensils were placed in front of him. "Who wants a cut?"

"I'm sorry about the informality," Mrs. Abe said to Sakaeguchi, "but this is the way Mister Abe likes it. I'm sure you're used to much better."

Abe laughed. "If you had seen the way dinner was served at Nishiura, you wouldn't say that."

Mister Abe demanded, "This is the finest beef joint. Who wouldn't eat it?"

Shun exclaimed, "But you just bought this china! For him!"

"Shun, Taka, Mister Abe!" Mrs. Abe protested, her cheeks burning.

"Oh, no, Mrs. Abe," Sakaeguchi protested. He looked down at the very new, very fine bone china in front of him, the tall beeswax candles, the brass fittings in the dining room and all the silverware, polished to within an inch of their lives. An image flashed in his mind of the cabinets of heavily-used and worn china, the drawers of linens brought in the trousseaus of many generations of brides now much used and often patched, the chests of tableware whose mismatched sets that had always been placed in front of him. "We always dine informally amongst family. It is much preferred."

All the Abes look at him for a moment. Mister Abe then nodded. "I begin to see, Mrs. Abe, what other kind of good such alliances are." He smiled and passed the plate, heaping with generous portions of beef. "It's only been two days since the engagement notice appeared in the papers, and yet, I have had a good handful of gentlemen approach me about business. It is quite something to have a marriage change one's status to that degree."

"Mister Abe, I am sure that they have only lately heard of your success," Sakaeguchi said.

"Perhaps," Mister Abe said, his eyes keen. "Even though I approached some of these same men previously for other endeavors, it has only been since the notice that I have had my calls returned."

Abe scowled. "It's not like Sakaeguchi was the one who was holding them back!"

"But the one thing that has changed is our family attachment," Mister Abe replied.

"What are you going to do?" asked Shun.

"I will consider their proposals and see if there is anything to work with, same as I would otherwise," Mister Abe said. "Blood alone doesn't prove much."

Mrs. Abe asked, "Am I correct in understanding that you've made the wedding plans?"

"Yes," Sakaeguchi said.

Mrs. Abe smiled. "When - "

"We signed the marriage contract today. We leave for the country tomorrow, the Mihashi party a few days after that, then a week after that we shall wed at the chapel in the Sakaeguchi country house," recited Abe, bored.

"I realize that schedule is quite compressed," Sakaeguchi said quickly, trying to ward off any discontent from Abe's parents or any desire to discuss the haste in which arrangements were made, "but since Abe and I have come to an agreement, certainly there does not seem to be any need to wait. I hope the timing is not too close for you to attend?"

"Two weeks?" squeaked Mrs. Abe.

"A month would be better," rumbled Mister Abe, "but two weeks in the country would be acceptable."

"I don't have anything that would conflict," Shun declared. 

"You best not," retorted Abe.

"The Season is drawing to a close around that time, so no. We shall be there," Mister Abe said.

"While I'm there, I'm going to have another look at the folly," Abe announced. "I wonder if it might make a good observatory."

Sakaeguchi said, "You were saying that the last discussion at the Royal Society was about the ideal placement of a telescope."

"The old pile at the back garden?" asked Shun. "It's a ruin."

"Yes, that one. Lord K- was boasting about the one he had rebuilt in his garden, and invited me to see it tonight. If he can do it, ours can be done better." As if struck by the realization he should inform her, Abe turned to his mother and said, "I'll be leaving after dinner to see about it."

Mister Abe said, "There are some old trunks and papers stored in there. If you could move them to the main house on this visit, I'll sort through them once I have some time. I should have done it a long time ago." 

Mrs. Abe mused, "For a family of shepherds, yours have certainly acquired a great deal."

"I feel it has been done very well," Sakaeguchi said.

"Thank you," Mister Abe nodded towards Sakaeguchi. "Enough so that I could marry the prettiest girl in the county - "

Mrs. Abe giggled, but didn't refute the claim.

"-and have a child marry into the nobility." He stood and raised his glass, prompting everyone else to also get to their feet. "A toast to your upcoming nuptials!"

* * *

Sakaeguchi was waiting for his hat and gloves and the butler handed them to him. Sakaeguchi paused, and said, questioningly, "Is that you, Ishiguro? I didn't see you when I came in."

The butler startled, his thick eyebrows jerking upward. He said, "Mister Sakaeguchi, I was helping Mrs. Abe with a task. Thank you very much, sir, for noticing."

"I wasn't aware that you had come to London with the Abes this Season."

"They needed a new butler, as this house didn't come with one."

"I'm sure that you are doing a much better job than any that would be here already," said Sakaeguchi, making a mental note to talk to Abe about putting something extra in the monthly pay packet for the staff after the wedding.

"If it isn't too familiar, sir, we, the staff, have been talking, Mister Sakaeguchi, and we find that you becoming part of the Abe household is the best thing that could have happened."

Bemused, Sakaeguchi asked why.

"Because your family's been nobility for centuries and know how thing are done. It's best that old families and new yoke together. Leastways, that's how we think. Besides, it gives Cook great pride to know that her family will now be serving nobility, and she will have precedence at the market." A quick knock on the door and Ishiguro said, "That'll be the coachman with the chariot."

Abe and his mother appeared at the top of the steps. "I'll escort Sakaeguchi home. It will be on my way to Lord K-'s," Abe informed her on his way out of house, moving with undue speed.

Concerned, Sakaeguchi asked, "Are you sure you will be up for travel tomorrow if you are awake all night?"

"It'll won't be too late," Abe said, as they entered the carriage and seated themselves. Abe quietly said to Sakaeguchi, "Between your sister and Lady Hanai - I have had not a moment with you alone. We had to move quickly before she started talking."

"They want to make sure that you do not have an opportunity to know me better and cry off," teased Sakaeguchi.

"Your sister and Lady Hanai perhaps. My mother is likely only sorry neither of us can bear children, otherwise she'd make it a goal to have us alone as much as possible." Abe snorted. "I should be the one to breed, as you have the title, in the hopes that you would put me in the family way and she could be the grandmother of a future lord."

"Besides, what can one do in a carriage anyway?" joked Sakaeguchi.

Abe stared at him. "You are shamming it."

"What?"

"Do you not recall what happened the night of the Hanai ball - "

"I don't really remember," Sakaeguchi said, apologetically. 

"You were sodden," Abe said. "But honestly, just use your imagination."

"I always imagine things on a bed. For my first time, I think that's what we would - "

"What?" Abe asked, abruptly, disbelieving.

"I - I always imagine things on a bed," Sakaeguchi repeated. 

"The other," commanded Abe.

"For my first time."

"What - " Abe began. He corrected himself. "For our first time, you mean. For the consummation. After the wedding."

"No, I said and meant my first time - " Sakaeguchi insisted, not understanding why Abe seemed so stuck.

The light coming in from the moon and the streetlights was dim, but enough so that Sakaeguchi could almost see the slowly dawning comprehension across Abe's face. In the narrow confines of the two-seater carriage, Abe flung himself backwards against the squabs. "You - you're a virgin - ?"

"Is that wrong? When I told you that I have never found anyone objectionable because of their assignment at birth -" Sakaeguchi said, eyes downcast, fingers gripping his watch chain so the knuckles whitened. "I meant that in, ah, a purely, ah, theoretical sense." He chanced a glance to see if his message was understood. 

Abe looked much the same way Sakaeguchi had imagined he might deep in the throes of a gastric attack; off-color, mouth open, entirely uncomfortable. Incredulous, Abe asked: "Why did you never go with Mizutani, or Hanai and the rest to one of those bawdy houses off St. James Street -?" 

"You did not either," Sakaeguchi countered.

"I knew enough to understand what it was that I was looking for and that those places tend to not have it," Abe replied.

"I should have told you earlier, but I didn't know how. I suppose I could say that I didn't have the income to get into the petticoat line - but that was an excuse. A frantic moment in a dark corner, an itch to scratch, an exchange of money for services - that was nothing I wanted. And I could not - I could not - risk the getting of an illegitimate child."

"Surely, something at school or university - any of the villagers or the neighboring schools or -- to say nothing of simple affection or admiration --"

"No." Sakaeguchi strove to explain. "Miss Momoe would have never allowed such. You are aware."

"Much happened of which Miss Momoe either was unaware or else turned a blind eye toward," Abe said wryly.

Nervously, Sakaeguchi fiddled with the fob of his pocket watch. "I - I wanted something different. My parents had a love match and my mother - one of the last things she ever said to me was to try to give the gift of myself to my life's mate and no other. I understand this is somewhat unusual, at my age, but - "

"No, no, not at all," Abe said. He pulled a handkerchief out of a pocket and wiped down the faint sheen of perspiration that had appeared above his brow.

"Are you all right?" Sakaeguchi asked. "I understand if this is enough to perturb you and any expectations you might have, with societal assumptions being what they are. Truly, I had not supposed that I would explain this to anyone - except my spouse. Which," his voice faltered, "will be you." He sat up straighter. "And I understand if this is enough to queer the pitch - "

"No!" Abe said, and then softer, "No. That is acceptable. I hope you will forgive me when I say that I had not similar guidance. I have sown some oats, while a smaller number than many, I regret I cannot come to you as you will come to me."

Sakaeguchi was suddenly relieved. "I know many who would have found my explanation and my status peculiar, so I am relieved that you still find me acceptable."

"Are you interested in - in - in marital relations at all?" Abe stammered. "There is talk that some married do not congregate after they have children."

"I - I am," Sakaeguchi said. "Interested with you - yes. I am." Then, fervently, _"Yes."_

"Do you know what it entails? Intimacy with me, I mean, men?"

"I do understand. Theoretically." Sakaeguchi bit his lip. Embarrassed, he explained, "I have myself's own reactions when I am alone."

"Bloody hell," Abe whispered. "That is an image."

Sakaeguchi rubbed a sweating hand on the cloth of his pantaloons, but stopped when he saw Abe's eyes upon his hand and thigh. "Is this not appropriate to discuss between an affianced couple? We have talked about much similar when we were younger."

"It seemed quite different, then," Abe said.

"We weren't to be married then," Sakaeguchi guessed.

"No, we weren't. Not then," Abe said.

"And if we did speak, it was in rooms full of other boys."

"Yes. That does make it different," Abe nodded.

"And Mister Shiga."

"Absolutely."

"That would make things different," Sakaeguchi agreed. They looked at each other and smiled. "I would want to know, whether you deem it appropriate or not." 

"If you do the same," Abe countered.

"Absolutely."

The coach had pulled up to the Yamato townhouse. Sakaeguchi said, "I hope you're able to have a good evening with Lord K-."

Abe sighed. "I'll try."

"Even though," Sakaeguchi said, leaning in a little so he could murmur into Abe's ear, tilting his head so the brims of their hats didn't clash. With a lilt in his voice, he said, "it wouldn't be nearly as good as one you would have with me." He smiled cheekily as he prepared to slip out of the carriage.

Grimly, Abe agreed. "I know."

* * *

Ultimately, it took two coaches, packed to the gills, to bring the Yamatos, Sakaeguchi and Abe back to the Sakaeguchi manor house. The first day, Abe snoozed in a corner while Sakaeguchi amused himself and the children with stories and small games.

They stopped every couple of hours to get new horses and to refresh themselves at the post inn. It wasn't until that very day that Sakaeguchi realized that summer had come. Inside the city, hints of the season was visible in the greening of the parks, in the increasing heat and humidity, but largely hidden by the buildings, the roads, the mass of humanity. Out here, out by the roads, the fields springing up with new crops, the great verdant breaks of the trees against the horizon, proved that the season had arrived in full glory.

At their lunch break, the coachman informed them that this stop might take longer than usual because of a shortage of horses, and the innkeeper had gone to get additional beasts at a local farm. Sakaeguchi stayed outside with the children, playing various forms of chasing games. Wakako pulled out a small case of pencil and paper. Yamato and Abe shared a newspaper.

The children, exhausted after running after their uncle, flocked back to their mother's lap. Sakaeguchi followed.

Wakako said to Abe, a bit apologetically, "Nanny thinks it dreadfully informal of us, but neither Mister Yamato nor I cannot bear to be without them for long. I am quite sentimental, and well," she looked over at her husband. Something deeply indulgent in her voice throbbed, "Mister Yamato is marveling at having children at all."

"Sakaeguchi always said he wanted a family." Abe's voice was measured, and causing Sakaeguchi's head to turn toward him. There wasn't a clue as to Abe was thinking on his face.

Wakako said, "Yes, he did. I suppose it'll be all right, though. Yukihiro will be next in line for the title and he'll most likely have children. If not, then Aki."

Sakaeguchi said, loudly, "I am very fond of Aki, and a better young Lord I can't imagine." He grabbed the boy and tickled him, who ran away to hide behind his mother's skirts.

"Yuuto!" exclaimed Wakako, and then she smiled. Sakaeguchi looked at the picture of his sister, maternal and glowing with happiness.

The little boy looked up, his ruddy face cheerful. "Uncle! Tickle me again!"

A small body rushed at Sakaeguchi's legs. "Aki!" he said. "I will!" And the little boy laughed and ran off to hide behind the nearest large tree.

* * *

The second day of travel found Sakaeguchi sitting in a coach with Abe and a young footman, Saburo. After the second stop of the day, the coaches went off the main road and onto the less maintained road that would eventually lead to their properties. The road up until that point had been fairly smooth, so much so that Sakaeguchi could easily read, and Wakako had read aloud to her children. Sakaeguchi slid closer to the window and opened it, leaning forward to catch whatever breeze came by.

Saburo abruptly thumped his fist on the side of the coach. Before it could fully halt, he bolted out the door and cast up his accounts on the side of the road. When Sakaeguchi and Abe reached him, he was leaning heavily forward on his thighs, panting and looking sick.

"I'm sorry, sirs," he apologized. "The other coach is out of sight by now."

"Don't worry about it," Sakaeguchi said. "Coachman knows where we're going. Besides, it's not long before we reach our destination." 

Abe nodded, patting the back of the still-green looking footman. "Go sit up with the coachman. The fresh air will make you feel better," he said.

As the coach started up again, Sakaeguchi said, "I hope he feels better soon."

"I don't." Abe slowly pulled his gloves off, the kidskin giving way finger by finger, mesmerizing Sakaeguchi through the deliberate movements, until the thin leather had been removed from both his hands. That complete, he took the gloves and his hat and tossed them onto the seat across from them. 

"Abe!" Saburo had been there ostensibly because of a lack of room in the Yamato carriage, but, Sakaeguchi suspected, mostly because Wakako would not let them alone. It appeared Abe suspected the same thing. 

And then Sakaeguchi realized he was very much alone with Abe. He felt a funny frisson shiver its way up his spine. "Well, here we are," Sakaeguchi said, over-hearty. 

Abe gave a brief nod.

"Alone. Together."

"Hm. You seem a little nervous for someone who has confessed to being 'tolerably fond' of me," Abe noted, stretching himself across the seat.

"That did seem the right and true thing to say at the time," Sakaeguchi said, aware of Abe's arm draped over the the top of the back cushions behind him, fingers brushing against his shoulder.

"Was it?" Abe arched an eyebrow.

"I can only speak for myself," Sakaeguchi said. Under his breath, he wondered, "Well, what could happen in a coach?"

A half smile crept across Abe's mouth. "You don't remember what happened the night of the Hanai ball." It wasn't a question.

"What did happen that night of the Hanai ball? In the carriage?"

"How much do you want to know?"

"Are we bargaining now?" Sakaeguchi asked, suspicious.

"Do you think we are?"

"No," Sakaeguchi decided. "We can't possibly. We're too well-bred for that."

Abe's softly spoken "Pity" hung between the two of them. Sakaeguchi made the mistake of catching Abe's eye, and he found himself remembering their breaths mingled, how soft Abe's lips were, and now, how much he wanted to compare memory with reality.

"I do remember leaning up against you." He slid over until his leg was flush with Abe's, pinkening as he did so.

"What else do you remember?"

Dropping his eyes to the cushions, Sakaeguchi hoped Abe couldn't see how he was remembering how intoxicating it was to affect Abe's breathing. "What do _you_ recall?" He chanced a look upward and was met with a particularly heated glance.

"You said a few things."

"Like?"

"Where you wanted to sit."

Sakaeguchi's eyebrows drew together. "That sounds peculiar. Where did I want to sit?"

"I believe right here," Abe drawled, one elegant hand gesturing to his lap.

"Your lap?" questioned Sakaeguchi.

"You went on at some length about my thighs. My great big squashing thighs, if I recall correctly."

Finding his own words upon Abe's lips peculiarly enthralling, Sakaeguchi said, "I did?"

"Indeed."

"Is there some part of mine you might go on at some length?" Sakaeguchi asked.

Immediately, Abe replied, "Your hips."

"My hips?"

"Aye." Abe gave a nod. "When I am alone, with my own self's reactions," his lips quirked, "I do like to linger on thoughts of your hips."

"Oh, my," Sakaeguchi breathed. Low along his stomach, there was a deep clench. "Perhaps, perhaps we could each act upon it." He bit his bottom lip. "Because if it were not for your great big squashing thighs we would not be here at all." With great daring, he twisted in his seat, prepared to lean forward, only to find that Abe had met him half-way. Sakaeguchi gripped Abe's lapels, as Abe reached up and pushed Sakaeguchi's hat off his head before clasping at the back of the other man's neck and pulling him in closer.

He closed his eyes when Abe's lips touched his. They kissed, fitting their lips against each other, this way and slanting that way, mouths soft. Remembering, Sakaeguchi licked the seam of Abe's mouth, finding the edges soft and yielding, finding that he desperately wanted more.  
He felt Abe suck his bottom lip into his mouth before his teeth sank into his bottom lip, then salving the small pain with a swipe of his tongue. Sakaeguchi opened his mouth further so Abe could taste him better. Abe's hand moved to cup his face, and then slid over to grip the hair at the back of his head. A great warmth pooled at the base of Sakaeguchi's stomach. 

"Jacket - " Sakaeguchi panted, overheating in what was, mere moments ago, the most seasonally appropriate fabric in his wardrobe. "Bloody neckcloth!"

"A moment - " Abe responded, pulling away. 

A series of rapid bumps through the coach caused Sakaeguchi to lose his grip on Abe's clothes. A great sway of the coach indicated the swing up the long drive of the manor house. Glimpses of the great lawn were visible through the open windows of the carriage. 

Abe dropped his head against Sakaeguchi's shoulder, breathing hard. "I don't think - we'll be going up to the house soon -" Abe said, his voice muffled against the dark superfine.

"You're right - you're right - " Sakaeguchi panted, trying to calm down, trying not to thinking about how it had felt when Abe had bitten him, on his mouth and on his neck. Abe. _His fiance._ The breath in Sakaeguchi's chest stuttered. "I wanted - I do still want you to bite my neck again."

"Bloody _hell_." Abe closed his eyes, the flush across his cheekbones heightening. After a moment, he sat up and gripped Sakaeguchi's hand, eyes glittering. "Don't worry. I imagine my mouth will be on many parts of you before I'm done."

* * *

They spent half the day with Lord Sakaeguchi. 

Abe seemed to be watching him closely, as if looking for some kind of clue for behavior. "Don't mind him," Sakaeguchi murmured to Abe. 

Lord Sakaeguchi had never been the most sociable of people, and his prolonged mourning had enforced a habit of solitude. Still he made the appropriate noises when spoken to, even if he did not initiate any conversation on his own; he talked sociably with Wakako, traded pleasantries with Mister Yamato, and admired the children.

When told of Sakaeguchi and Abe's engagement, Lord Sakaeguchi appeared surprised. "I wish," he said, staring off into space, "I wish your mother were here. She would know better what to say."

Wakako, taking pity on the them in the uncomfortable space after Lord Sakaeguchi's words, suggested that Yuuto give Abe a tour of the manor. Now that he was to become family, perhaps he would see things a different way.

"When's the last time you've been through?" Sakaeguchi asked as they slipped into the great hall. "You spend so much time in the City - "

"Some years, probably." Abe looked up at the high ceiling, sections painted in the crests of related families, down to the age-darkened wood paneling covered with the clutter of portraits in different styles, the variety of rusty weaponry, as if for the first time. Set above the massive fireplace was the heraldic achievement; closed helm, viscount coronet, a blue and white escutcheon parted per pale and per butterbur leaf fess, flanked by a dragon on one side and an angel on the other. The motto across the bottom was scripted in heavy black paint on white background, "Nous Élevons."

Sakaeguchi joked, "When I was little, my mother told me the motto was about the dragon and the angel flying off with the shield. And one day I would wake up and it would just be gone."

Abe didn't laugh. "When did this - " He gestured toward the crest.

"The title was created three hundred forty - no - no," Sakaeguchi squinched his eyes. "It'll be three hundred fifty years come next year. We were barons before. Most nobility originated in the ability to fight. Ours was because some distant ancestor solved a monetary problem for the king." He grinned, merry with the air of an oft-told joke. "We didn't rise so much as we raised taxes on everybody else."

Abe didn't seem to find it funny. "Huh," he said, thoughtful. They walked through the house, some of the funny shaped rooms that came as a consequence of the multiple styles added onto the early great hall through successive generations, up a few flights of stairs, through a narrow attic space cluttered with crates and trunks, and up a ladder through a narrow opening. Finally, they emerged out onto the roof. 

"I don't think you've ever been here," Sakaeguchi said. He leaned up against the railing, looking past the minimally maintained formal gardens close to the house, the village down by the road, the cottages of the crofters, the outbuildings of the farm lands, out to the great rolling hills where small shapes of livestock could be seen out to pasture. "This is my favorite part of the house. From here, you can see forever." He looked up with pleasure at Abe's face. "My grandfather used to speak of the days when all that was within sight belonged to us."

"I can see my house," Abe said, eyes narrowed at the large two-story building toward the east, a tall, thin folly set off up a hill from the main structure. He pointed to the nearest bare hilltop off to the north. "What's that?"

"That's the family burial grounds." Sakaeguchi couldn't help smiling. "I'll be buried there someday."

"I didn't know you could see it from the house." Abe wore a peculiar look.

"What?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"You like thinking that?"

"Aye. It's reassuring. I'll be back with everybody I've ever loved."

Abe leaned against the railing. "I don't know where anybody except my direct ancestors are buried. We've moved around since forever. We have thieves, drunks, foreigners, all sorts of scurrilous scum in my family. And that's just the ones I know of." 

"We have those, too." Sakaeguchi nodded. "Only I know exactly who they are. That's the trouble of having it all written down. But I don't think those are buried here. At least, not the outright murderers."

Abe did not appear to find that at all funny. "Until my grandfather, I don't know if there has been a single baby born in wedlock in my entire family."

"The first Baron Minami was a natural son. All of the babies after have been legitimate, but there's no way of knowing if the fathers were actually the fathers."

"How can you joke -"

"Abe, however we got here, we are here." Sakaeguchi gently reached out to Abe's shoulder. "We are to be married, and that is all there is. That is enough for me."

Abe did not seem to find that reassuring. "Sakaeguchi - this whole marriage - "

A servant cautiously approached, catching Sakaeguchi's eye. "Sir, your father wishes a word with you."

After the servant delivered his message, Sakaeguchi took Abe's arm. "What were you saying? My father can wait a minute."

"It's not important." Abe shook his head. "I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Sakaeguchi and his father walked up to Lady Sakaeguchi's grave, much as they did nearly every day Sakaeguchi had been in mourning. As far as Sakaeguchi could tell, his father had never stopped.

Sakaeguchi gave his father adequate space to stand in front of the headstone, head bent, silent. After he had gently touched the headstone, signalling the end of his small ritual, his father turned to him.

"Yuuto," his father said.

"Yes, Papa?"

"I've known Abe - Takaya - a long while."

"Yes, Papa."

"Since he was a boy. And his family for many years. They're a good family." Lord Sakaeguchi stared out over the gently rolling hills a moment. "Do you love him? Or is it the money?"

"It's - it's a good match," Sakaeguchi said, weakly. His heart squeezed in his chest at the answer he couldn't say out loud.

"That is not what I asked."

Yuuto stood, guiltily, waiting for his father to continue. A slow breeze moved across the distant tops of the trees, tossing the highest branches, their green tops rippling in the wind.

Finally, his father said, "What do you remember of your mother, Yuuto?"

What a funny trick, this. Of his father's retreat from society, addlement was not among his afflictions. Still, he wondered about the reason for the question. Sakaeguchi said, "I remember a purple dress, that rustled when she walked. She always wore a lace cap, and she would sit in the sitting room and embroider. She sang. She taught us all watercolors." His voice became too thick to continue. He could have gone on to talk about how his father's forbidding visage softened only in her presence, how he remembered how they read to each other, late into the evenings, how they walked out together across the paths of the garden, holding hands, for as long as he could recall - until she could no longer walk.

"When your mother and I married, we were not a love match."

"But I thought - " breathed Sakaeguchi.

"No. But I would wish you the luck I had." A reminiscent look came to Lord Sakaeguchi's expression. "When we married - I wasn't much of a catch even in my best presentation. I was skinny, had bad skin, couldn't speak of anything but sport and parliament. A poor package all around." A flicker of self-awareness flashed. "Even poorer than I am now."

"Your mother was never considered a beauty, not by society's standards. However, she was of age and from noble stock and she had money. That was enough for me, at the time. Marriage made me aware of the best of her qualities." Lord Sakaeguchi stared off into the sky. "She had lovely eyes. A wonderful laugh. People thought it was too loud, too raucous for a gently bred girl. I miss it."

"You don't have to say anything, Papa. I know how hard it is to speak of her - "

"She would want me to," Lord Sakaeguchi replied. "You might not remember, but she had a great gift for talking. Many thought she said too much. But it wasn't some ridiculous gossip, but speaking the truth of her heart." His father looked at him, his expression so fond, so open, Yuuto could almost not bear to see. "I think, out of all her children, Yuuto, that you received the most of that gift."

"Papa - " Sakaeguchi's vision began to blur. 

"Your mother gave me you children, she gave me her life, Yuuto. She gave me everything that I hold dear in this life." Lord Sakaeguchi looked over at the headstone. Then he turned back to his son, eyes brimming with tears. "Yuuto, I'm sorry I haven't been able to be more helpful these past few years. You have done so well, better than I would have done, with the faulty tools I was able to give you. I should have done more."

"Papa," Sakaeguchi choked. "It's of no import."

Lord Sakaeguchi grasped Sakaeguchi's shoulders. "This is the one thing I am able to tell you that you might be able to use - if you should ever find anyone who gives to you with that kind of generosity, what your mother gave to me, grab onto them with both hands. And tell them. Tell them how much they mean to you, like your mother told me. Your mother taught me that loving someone is never wrong, no matter how much it might hurt over time - it is always worth it."

* * *

Sakaeguchi had just dragged himself out of bed when Abe came calling. Looking up from his coffee and book, Sakaeguchi couldn't find it in himself to object to the incredibly hearty way Abe just presented himself in buckskins, riding jacket and boots. Smiling to himself, Sakaeguchi asked, "What is happening this morning that has you so chipper?"

"I thought you might want to go for a ride?" Abe looked particularly pleased with himself.

"What is going on?"

"The butler told me your sister isn't up yet. Do you want to go out, with me, now?"

Slowly, Sakaeguchi nodded. "Just let me get dressed."

A half-smile touched Abe's mouth. "Keep your neckcloth simple and easy to re-tie."

* * *

After dressing in rapid time in the plainest riding clothes he could find, Sakaeguchi went down with Abe to the stables, picked out a mount and they went out across the fields, and over the hills and up towards a high meadow.

"Did you ever think we would be here, engaged?"

Abe frowned. "I never planned it - but I think that it would make for a good life."

Sakaeguchi turned to him and smiled. "I think it will be good, too." Certainly, Sakaeguchi had his doubts whether his friendship with Abe would weather this new phase of their relationship. He also knew that something deep within him recognized the rightness of this union, felt that this was something he had wanted all along. He had only to come to the realization. He felt vaguely guilty that he was not above taking the opportunity. The words he'd been thinking for days, expressing things he had felt for years, sat perilously on his tongue. Later, he thought. There was nothing but time for them now.

They dismounted and admired the view.

When Sakaeguchi turned, a question on his lips, Abe grasped his chin with one hand and moved in to kiss him, hungrily. 

"Wha - " Sakaeguchi said, instinctively putting up his hands.

"I want you to be mine, now."

"We'll be married in a week -?"

"Do you want to wait?" Abe asked, urgent, anxious. There was something a little desperate in his mien, but Sakaeguchi did not question it.

"No." Sakaeguchi was definite. He did not want to wait. What difference would a week make? Then he would tell Abe what was in his heart, for what had seemed like forever.

As Sakaeguchi went to secure their horses, Abe pulled a blanket from a saddlebag and spread it on the grass.

Feeling self-conscious, Sakaeguchi sat down on the blanket. Abe joined him, and deliberately, pulled at Sakaeguchi's neckcloth - which set Sakaeguchi laughing. "Let me," Sakaeguchi said, kneeling in front of Abe, and, with a silken slipping, undid the single knot and twist. He was hanging on to the tails of the neckcloth when Abe grasped his fingers, bringing them up to his mouth. He licked them, and then, slipped them into his mouth.

Sakaeguchi gasped, the combination of the sight of Abe's generous lips around his fingers and the slight suction set his stomach a-quiver. Pulling out of Abe's mouth, he grasped tightly to Abe's jacket and hoisted himself up onto his knees. Sakaeguchi then swung one leg over Abe's leg, so he was kneeling, trapping one of Abe's thighs between his own. The position, the height, was novel, being just a touch taller, leaning down to kiss Abe. Sakaeguchi used the new angle to his advantage.

Abe tilted his head up, willingly. They kissed, lips soft, clinging, Abe's fingers in the knot of Sakaeguchi's cravat, slowly undoing it. Leaning back to better assist Abe's pulling apart, Sakaeguchi realized that sitting on Abe's thigh, that leaning forward and rubbing himself against Abe's firm musculature was immensely satisfying. He tried it again, eliciting a deep groan from Abe. Abe took the initiative to bite Sakaeguchi's neck, causing him to move his hips against Abe's thighs again, his growing erection simultaneously soothed and stirred by his movements. Along his own leg, he can feel a hardening where Abe's legs meet. It wasn't enough, not nearly enough.

Abe grunted and lifted up the edge of Sakaeguchi's waistcoat, began yanking off Sakaeguchi's jacket, at the same time Sakaeguchi was doing the same to Abe, getting their arms tangled, and they landed on their sides, flinging their jackets off to the side. Impatiently, Abe ran his hands along the edge of Sakaeguchi's waistband, unbuttoned his narrow fall and tugged out the long length of Sakaeguchi's shirt. When Abe pulled out enough fabric to bare Sakaeguchi's abdomen to his touch, Sakaeguchi leaned forward, biting back a groan of pleasure at having Abe finally touch his skin. 

Abe moaned as well, or Sakaeguchi thought he did, but when he looked, it did not appear to be a look of desire on Abe's face. Abe was wearing a look of someone bedeviled, his cry was one of sheer disbelief. 

"What?" asked Sakaeguchi, as he followed Abe's eyeline. There, down in the next valley, was Wakako on a fancy chestnut, followed by Aki on a shaggy white pony and a careful groom bringing up the rear.

Abe swore with such fluency and grace that Sakaeguchi would have been stricken with admiration had they not had to grab their clothes and redress in a hurry. 

"Uncle!" waved Aki, "Uncle!" He laughed, triumphant. "I saw your horse and I wanted to say good morning!"

"Good morning, Aki," Sakaeguchi smiled, unable to look at Abe. 

"What an eye your nephew has," Abe muttered to Sakaeguchi.

"Indeed," Wakako said. "Mister Yamato says that not only has Aki has something of my eye, but also my hearing." She was not smiling.

* * *

After breakfast, Sakaguchi packed up. Abe had sent over his family's coach, so as to be more convenient when they began their trip to Mihoshi Park.

On his way out, Wakako said, "I shouldn't say anything," she said, "but Abe seems most solicitous."

Sakaeguchi smiled. "Yes. He does think of everything."

"I would have never thought that you two would suit, but I see I am wrong. I am glad for it. I hope you understand that I have just been trying to safeguard you, Yuuto." 

"Thank you, Wakako. I do understand, and I appreciate it."

"I'm sorry about this morning," she said, looking chagrinned. "I - I would not have come out if I had known you were there." She extended an arm in apology, and they clasped hands warmly.

* * *

Sakaeguchi had been concerned about the effects the marriage might have on the staff at his family home. There had been no change that he could discern. If anything, there had been a palpable sense of relief from the long-term retainers that the future was now foreseeable and secure. Still, he wondered how the news would be received by the people of Abe House. Sakaeguchi went up to the door and knocked. 

"Mister Sakaeguchi!" exclaimed Mrs. Mura, the housekeeper, when she opened the door. 

Sakaeguchi recalled that she was Ishiguro's sister, seeing the similarity in their expressions and eyebrows. "Good morning, Mrs. Mura."

"Ishiguro sent me a letter last week, and most pleased everyone is. There's nothing like a wedding to bring people's spirits up. We only wish you happy."

He reached forward and pressed her hand, smiling. "Thank you, Mrs. Mura. Can you tell me where Abe is?"

"He's in the folly, sir. He told me to tell you he wouldn't be but a minute."

"I think I'll go on out there," he said as he passed through the house. "Give my best to everyone on the staff."

The folly was a short walk up a hill, it was what had been an old granary constructed from fieldstone. The door had been propped open, and Sakaeguchi's steps sounded hollow on the rough-hewn wooden floor boards. He went through the entry into the main room, where Abe knelt over many open trunks, piles of books and papers spilled everywhere. 

Sakaeguchi felt the first twinge of alarm. Abe was casual about many things; dress and address, propriety when it suited him, but careless of paper and records he was not. "Abe?" he said.

Abe looked up and over his shoulder, his expression frantic, startled, as if Sakaeguchi had meant to come up behind him whilst in the middle of some secret action. 

"I hadn't meant to surprise you," Sakaeguchi said. "You aren't ready to leave for Mihashi's house?" Seeing the papers clutched in Abe's hand, Sakaeguchi asked, "What're you holding?"

Abe blanched, looking terribly guilty. "It's nothing." He scrambled for a small box to stuff it into amidst the other letters, ledgers, notices and other oddments stored in that chest. 

"Let me see." Sakaeguchi crouched down for a better look.

It was a letter, in peculiarly familiar blocky handwriting, for all that Sakaeguchi had seen it exactly once before. The strokes were thick, the ink blotted. The letter read: "Milord Sakaeguchi Masahiro has given me 100 acres of property, upon which comes a well-built house, servants and crofters and old granary to settle an old agreement with milord, Sakaeguchi Hajime, for a child this day." It was signed by "Abe Sadao," and there, below that, in precise round hand, was "Sakaeguchi Masahiro, Viscount Sakaeguchi and Baron Minami" with several sets of seals, signatures of witnesses, and a date for some twenty years previous.

Sakaeguchi blinked. That was his grandfather's writing, not his great-grandfather's. "What does this mean?" Sakaeguchi asked. Abe's expression had become dark and cold, causing a premonitory lump to form in Sakaeguchi's gut. 

"I believe that the contract that Mister Sato was holding, that's not valid. Hasn't been valid for decades. His firm just hasn't been notified."

"Well, fair enough. We will notify him then," Sakaeguchi said, trying to remain calm.

"I already have made plans to."

"I hope your plans don't get in the way of our plans," Sakaeguchi joked, hoping to lighten the mood, or at the very least, chase the dark expression from Abe's face.

The corners of Abe's mouth dropped downward into a hard twist and his eyebrows drew together. 

The look caused the lump in Sakaeguchi's gut to tighten painfully. "Whatever is the matter? Abe? Abe?"

"I was thinking on how to tell you that we should - that I am going to cancel the wedding."

Sakaeguchi's eyes widened. "Pardon?" He couldn't believe his ears. He had been prepared for almost anything else. But not this. _"What?"_

"Don't you understand? You don't have to marry me anymore." 

"You think after all of this - the scandal, that you can cry off? What about honor? What about keeping one's word?" Sakaeguchi grabbed Abe's arm as he started to rise, alarm ringing through his body.

"I am no gentleman," Abe said, his eyes and voice cool, as he shook off Sakaeguchi's hand, coming to his feet. "I'm sorry, if you thought I was." 

"You can't cancel the wedding," Sakaeguchi cried. "I - I - "

"The gossip will die down, has already died down. In a month, there will be a new scandal and nobody will remember what happened at the Hanai's." Abe began to methodically pick up the loose papers scattered on the floor, placing them carefully away in a nearby crate. "You won't be at fault. I will take the blame. Society will blame me anyway, as I am not a part of the ton. I will be able to weather the gossip, and you can emerge without scandal. You will be able to marry another without any repercussions." Once the action was completed, the crate was stacked up against a wall. 

"How do you think this will solve things? What about your family? Your parents? Their hopes, their business dealings?"

"I have disappointed them before." Abe pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his hands off, methodical.

"How about your bid for becoming a fellow of the Royal Society?" This was weak, but Sakaeguchi felt like he was grasping at straws against the force of Abe's determination to sacrifice himself.

Abe's cool look gave that sentiment the small notice it deserved. "Lady Hanai will be able to find someone. For both of us, if it comes to it."

"Are we to be mere old school friends, only neighbors, former childhood acquaintances now?" Sakaeguchi asked, harshly.

"I would desire us to remain as close as we ever have, but I understand if this brings a close to our - our way of relating," Abe said, facing Sakaeguchi.

"Is this what you want? Truly?"

"Yes." Abe's eyes were hard and cold as river stones. 

As a final bid, Sakaeguchi cried, "Abe! What about Mihashi's party? Everybody will know!"

Abe flinched. "I had not thought of that."

"For the sake of our friendship, of everything we have done so far, will you not come with me to Mihashi's party? Can we not act as if everything is the same as it ever was? Then, afterwards, if you are still determined, then you can cry off and I will make no more demands upon you." 

The lengthening silence made Sakaeguchi fully appreciate his current circumstances. He currently was, and would soon no longer be, in a forced engagement with a man who had once said "I try to avoid situations that make me do something I don't like." He could sense terrible, clotting tears filling his eyes. It was only with great determination that he kept them down. "Do what you like with the information to Mister Sato. I would only ask, beg, that you keep up a facade until after Mihashi's house party. Give me four days. Please."

Abe nodded stiffly and walked out of the folly, his steps echoing against the bare, dusty rooms.

Sakaeguchi thought of the hope of this morning, the words he had almost said, the kisses that they shared, and felt his chest aching, empty, hollowed out to collapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is general consensus about there not actually being engagement notices in the paper, and some controversy about whether or not marriage notices actually existed. (Used it anyway.)
> 
> Beeswax candles in the Regency were considered very high-end because of their superior light and expense (due to taxes and their labor-intensive manufacturing process) http://regencyredingote.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/regency-candles-technology-and-law/
> 
> Weddings during the Regency were very different than the modern concept of the wedding. Engagements were short (a month not being uncommon), people tended to wear their Sunday best (or similar garments and would wear them again after the wedding), and there were often not very many attending (due, in part, to the difficulty of traveling).


	8. House Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four days, Sakaeguchi thought. Four days to pretend. Pretend to be happy. Pretend to be in love. Only, he was afraid, he had been truly all those things, was all of those things because of the silent brooding man who was sitting across the coach from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a couple of scenes that are NSFW. If you would like to skip the sex, skip from one * to the next *.
> 
> Also contains voyeurism, masturbation, intercural sex, fellatio.
> 
> I am so pleased with the reception this story has received. So much love for you who have stayed with me to the end of this journey!
> 
> Oldbridges has made [art!](http://oldbridges.tumblr.com/post/105869358398/so-many-oof-doodles-when-will-it-end)

The summer sky had clouded over when they left for Mihashi's house party.

The half-day trip to Mihashi's house was begun in silence. No arrangements had been made for a chaperone or valet to go with them; a plan that Sakaeguchi felt had been made in earlier, happier times.

The rain began to fall steadily. Sakaeguchi stared at it. Four days, he thought. Four days to pretend. Pretend to be happy. Pretend to be in love. Only, he was afraid, he had been truly all those things, was all of those things because of the silent brooding man who was sitting across the coach from him. After sitting in silence for what appeared to be hours, he screwed up his courage to speak. "Abe, I would have a word with you."

Abe looked at Sakaeguchi warily. "What is it?"

Sakaeguchi rushed into his questions, finally able speak his troubles. "Why are you separating from me? I deserve, at the very least, an explanation."

"The contract was fulfilled years ago. There is no further need for us to carry out this charade."

"I cannot accept that answer," Sakaeguchi said. 

"Would you accept that I do not feel we would suit?"

"We have been friends, for many years, " Sakaeguchi protested. "If I said that I feel we would suit, would you listen?"

"I have been listening. You also said you didn't want me to be a party to your arrangements, did you not?"

Frustrated, for once unable to state his feelings concisely regardless of what his father said, Sakaeguchi continued, "You should understand that I meant it was only for the money, that I did not wish to descend upon you in a mercenary manner. It was not due to our feelings - "

"Feelings are not a sensible reason to marry," Abe said flatly.

"It has been indicated to me, of late, that feelings might be the only good reason to marry."

Abe's voice changed. "I have seen you with your nephew."

Sakaeguchi blinked. "Many have seen me with Aki. I do not understand."

"All I bring you is money. However much money I may have, it cannot buy you an heir."

"I am aware, but that does not - "

"Our families, our antecedents, are too different."

"I would say yes, our families are different - "

But Abe would not be halted. "If we marry, that will stop you from marrying someone else. Someone who can give you a family as well as money. A noble line, gentle breeding, an untouched heart. Someone who fits into your family."

"I don't understand," Sakaeguchi said, a sharp bitterness in his throat. 

"Why can you not understand?" Abe shook his head. "What has happened between us shows even more than I would have thought how much I do not deserve you. You are a true gentleman, a truly good man. You should have someone who can give you everything you deserve."

Sakaeguchi opened his mouth, seized with upset. "Abe!"

The door opened, the coachman peering inside, water dripping off his cap. "Sirs, we have reached Mihoshi Park."

Sakaeguchi startled, not having realized the coach had slowed or stopped. 

Abe sprang from the coach as if the hounds of hell were bearing down upon him.

* * *

Even through the rain, the sight of Mihoshi Park was impressive. The early Georgian brick manor house stood three stories tall, with two great wings that reached out toward the circular front drive. Large multi-paned windows looked out over fertile green fields. 

"Welcome to Mihoshi Park," said Mihashi, waving to them as they stepped into the house. A short girl with dark brown eyes and black hair done up in ringlets at her temples stood at his side. "Come meet my wife, Suzume."

"You're looking well," Sakaeguchi exclaimed. He bowed over Suzume's hand.

"The bags will be taken up immediately," Suzume said. "Can we offer you tea?"

"Certainly, certainly," Sakaeaguchi said.

At the same time, Abe said bruquely, "No."

Sakaeguchi flushed and said, "Perhaps later. We've been traveling a while."

Suzume nodded, eyes widening at the perceived dischord.

"Who else is here?" Abe asked, turning around the large vestibule, as though evaluating the large house and all its contents with a single glance.

"Hanai's whole family, Tajima, Oki, Suyama, Mizutani, Oki and Izumi," Mihashi ticked off. "Haruna and Akimaru - you know them from University, right?"

"Yes," Abe clipped.

"There's a number of young ladies, but, of course you won't necessarily be interested in them, seeing as you are already betrothed," Suzume ventured, hesitantly joking.

"Ah, yes," Sakaeguchi said. He pinned a smile onto the corners of his mouth. 

Suzume said, "Since you don't want tea, Mihashi will show you the room." 

Mihashi bobbed his head as he led them out of the front foyer and into the house proper. "Suzume is an excellent hostess," he chirped. He paused. "Did you bring any servants?" Mihashi was much more at home in this position than Sakaeguchi would have ever guessed, given the knowledge he had from Nishiura. 

"No one but the coachman," Sakaeguchi replied.

"Room?" asked Abe, suspicious.

Guessing at Abe's concern, Sakaeguchi said, "Room, as in the singular, Mihashi?"

"Yes, here's your room. We don't have enough rooms for everybody. I might have been a, uh, little over-enthusiastic with the invitations." The room had a dresser, bed stands, two chairs. A large canopy bed covered in a cream silk dominated the center of the room. Mihashi gestured to the bellpull in case they might want to call for a maid. He then launched into the house rules; the dinner hour, and that there would be no gambling for money on any game, markers were acceptable. His voice trailed off. "I think that's it?"

Abe's nostrils flared. "Why is there only one bed in here?"

Apologetically, his voice low, Mihashi said, "But th-there's a trundle. " He gestured to a barely discernible gap in the panel of the foot of the bed. Sakaeguchi looked closely, the gap indicated where another bed sat, under the main bed. "Since you didn't bring any servants, one of you could sleep there."

"Is there no extra bed anywhere?" asked Abe, his voice higher-pitched than usual.

"I'm sorry Abe, Sakaeguchi. We made arrangements before we found out about the engagement, and it didn't seem to make too much of a difference that you share a room. I hope you're not bothered by that." 

"How could you think we would find this -"

"How could you think we would find this in any way troublesome?" Sakaeguchi smiled, wanting only to soothe Mihashi's sudden upset. He sent Abe a warning look. "You have so much to worry about with a houseful of guests, please don't worry about us."

Abe opened his mouth, looked at the both of them, and then shut it. 

"This isn't any different than when we were at school, is it?" asked Sakaeguchi. 

"No. 'Course not." Abe circled the bed, as if afraid it was going to rear up and bite him.

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Mihashi. The room looks perfect," Sakaeguchi said.

Mihashi chirped, much more at ease, that dinner would be in a few hours. He left them shortly after. Abe looked decidedly _not_ at ease.

Once the door closed behind Mihashi, Abe knelt down by the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" asked Sakaeguchi.

"Ah-ha!" Abe flipped up the beautifully embroidered counterpane and began to pull at the small iron handles attached to the wooden panel deep under the bed.

Seeing the furniture's resistance, Sakaeguchi suggested, "Abe - let it go. We can ask for someone to pull it out. Someone who knows how."

Abe yanked, straining against the bed's inertia. "It's simple! It's a trundle on casters! How could I possibly not know how - " With an audible ping, the iron handles broke off their mooring and into Abe's hands.

Sakaeguchi's eyebrows rose, and he covered his gaping mouth hastily in shock. He wiped his face to a blank when Abe rounded on him, brows drawn downward darkly, still holding the handles.

"Perhaps we should tell someone - " he couldn't help saying.

"No, no," Abe insisted. "I can fix this." He reached over to the wooden side of the bed and yanked, hard. There was a groaning sound, and the bed began to lurch forward.

"You should just leave it be," Sakaeguchi said, alarmed. "That did not sound good." 

"It's coming, it's coming," Abe insisted. He gave a final, deep grunt. With a loud splintering sound, the entire panel at the foot of the trundle bed came off along with its front legs, causing the thin mattress to crash against the floor.

Sakaeguchi raised his hand over his face, shielding his eyes from Abe's. He couldn't even look at Abe anymore, he was afraid the mere sight would just cause him to burst out laughing. 

Slowly, Abe said, "I think maybe I should just leave it." 

"Put it back. You can find Mihashi when he's alone and tell him."

"Right."

"Of course, you'll volunteer to replace it."

Abe straightened his jacket and stood up. "Of course. When I find Mihashi alone."

* * *

After the abrupt cancellation of trundle bed preparations, Abe and Sakaeguchi dressed themselves in uncomfortable, self-conscious silence. 

"What will your sister say?" Abe asked.

"She's not here," Sakaeguchi said.

"What will other people think?" Abe asked.

"As far as anyone knows, we are already engaged. It matters little, as long as it is put out that one of us is using the spare bed. No one will check." 

They departed the room for the drawing room to meet the rest of the guests. Sakaeguchi rapidly sobered when he realized that they would be required to act as an engaged couple, with all the happiness that implied, whatever their true status might be. 

There were a great number of people they knew, but Abe made his way to the Nishiura cluster of bachelors. Strangely, out of all of them, Izumi and Hamada were standing off the side, speaking intensely to each other, their demeanors indicating a desire not to be approached. 

Well, thought Sakaeguchi, at least we won't be the only ones not appearing at our social best.

"Why is he here?" Abe asked, eyes shooting over to Haruna. 

Hanai said, "Mihashi likes him, and he doesn't live very far away. I gather they've become friendly over these couple of years."

Sakaeguchi slid away to make small talk with some of the other guests, accepting congratulations with a smile that, he hoped, did not reveal any of his emotional state.

He was introduced to Mister Kamishiro Shouma, Mister Gan and Mister Ishida Natsu, all old boys from Touri Academy; Mister Kazuki Kawai and Mister Takase Junta who had previously attended Tosei Grammar. Misters Kamishiro, Gan and Ishida were staying, Kazuki and Takase lived locally and had been invited to dinner and the potential cricket match should the weather cooperate. They all chatted companionably about the weather, their acquaintance with their host and admired the house. 

"So, Mister Gan, tell me, how have you and Mihashi become acquainted?"

Gan, who had a jolly, prosperous appearance, smiled. "I am well-acquainted with Shouma, who became friendly with Mihashi some years back. Shouma, Natsu and I have several concerns together." He then launched into a conversation about sheep farming, dragging along the more reserved Natsu and the shyly reticent Shouma.

"Tell me," asked Gan, "who is the gentleman staring so fiercely at us?"

Sakaeguchi looked over and saw Abe. "My fiance," Sakaeguchi said.

"He is fearsome," murmured Shouma.

"You should hurry up and call the parson," muttered Natsu. "He looks to strike us down any minute with that scowl of his."

Sakaeguchi smiled and gave a little wave, which caused Abe to pinken about the ears.

"No longer," grinned Gan. "Appears as though Mister Sakaeguchi has the situation well in hand."

Suzume had Sakaeguchi walk into dinner with a familiar-looking girl, Fukui Miho. Miss Fukui congratulated him on his engagement. It was then that he realized that he had been introduced her before. She had been at the Hanai ball. She was the one he might have asked for a second dance. 

Miss Fukui was as sweet, lovely, and clever as she had appeared at the Hanai ball. And he felt the same things he had during the ball. She was everything he could have asked a kind providence for. And if it wasn't for Abe, he realized, he would have asked her for a second dance. Even now, with Abe having decided to break things off, Sakaeguchi couldn't bring himself to be anything but polite to her.

Dinner was not nearly as uncomfortable as it could have been, especially as Sakaeguchi was seated far away from Abe. He merely needed to get through this evening. Just a few more of these evenings. And then it would be over. And he honestly could not decide which was better; to have Abe's promise and know that Abe did not want him, or to have it be made perfectly clear that Abe was uninterested in him and to live in that truth. It was only a few days until everyone would know, regardless of whatever happened this visit.

The last course was being cleared when Suzume called for the other women to join her in the drawing room. Miss Fukui went off with Misses Haruka and Azuka, Lady Hanai, and the other women. 

Mihashi led the men to the library where he brought out the drinks and the cigars. Some of the men partook, leading to a brief discussion of the qualities of the alcohol and the tobacco.

"How is married life?" Hanai asked.

"It's good, good," Mihashi said cheerfully, and then he blushed. He smiled, a full-on beam of pleasure. "Suzume is a good person!"

"So how did you meet her?" Hamada asked. Sakaeguchi remembered that Hamada had only recently returned from campaign and had been unaware of the minor scandal at the end of last Season.

Mihashi met Suzume at his first dance, and had asked for the first dance. Then he asked her again. And again. And that was it. It was only later that he realized that he should have danced with someone else. In his defense, she asked him about cricket, and knew about cricket and their conversation had lasted the entire night. 

"She can bowl!" Mihashi enthused. "Her arm is so strong, and it's got a great rotation!" Mihashi paused. "I would have married her anyway, but Grandfather thought it was important I ask her quickly, before she realized I am - I am not perfect." 

Sakaeguchi lifted his eyes, catching hold of Abe's. Sakaeguchi quirked an eyebrow as Abe's lips pressed together, a brief message before the conversation swung around to possible cricket teams the party could deliver. 

In short order, they went back out to meet with the ladies and partake of a hot drink. Sakaeguchi found himself slowly playing a game of whist, comparing country and city lifestyles with the other guests at the table.

After a few hours, Suzume appeared, exclaiming the lateness of the hour. The ladies turned in. Shortly after, Sakaeguchi looked for Abe. Finding him in discussion with some of the other Nishiuras, Sakaeguchi went to bed.

* * *

Sakaeguchi lifted his head, pulling off the paper stuck to his cheek with a grimace. He very carefully closed the book, blinking in astonishment that he could have fallen asleep face first into a book. That hadn't happened in years. In the light of a single candle, guttering in its holder, he could see shapes of unfamiliar furniture. He looked at the thin grey light coming through the window. The clouds made it hard to tell but it appeared to be very very late, or very very early. 

He remembered; he was at Mihashi's house. He had undressed, gotten into bed with a book, intending to wait up for Abe and perhaps to try to reason with him. He had fallen asleep after a few pages. His only excuse was that it had been a most trying day. 

"Abe?" he said, softly. Unnecessarily. He could see for himself that he was alone and the other side of the bed remained untouched.

He wondered about the likelihood of being able to find his way through the house. He compared it to the disadvantages of waking up a servant to help navigate. He decided he would try to make his way through alone, and should he get lost, well, every room had a bell pull. 

He pulled on his banyan over his nightshirt and set off in search of his lost fiance.

It was in the third room, not the library or the drawing room, but a hidden, large study that Sakaeguchi found Abe, uncomfortably tipped backward on a wing chair, feet spread across a low table. He slowly approached, hoping not to startle Abe. He rounded the table.

A great tenderness, and a tearing sadness filled Sakaeguchi's heart at the sight of Abe's sleeping face, so young and unguarded. It reminded him of the way Abe looked at Nishiura. 

Sakaeguchi would never have thought they would have ended up in this place. Their relationship had endured so many events across so many years. How had they ended up here? 

An ache started in his heart. Sakaeguchi wanted to believe that Abe had been acting like he cared for him. No, he _knew _that Abe cared for him. He knew that as surely as he knew the sun rose in the morning and set in the evening. Perhaps it was not the kind of caring that Sakaeguchi himself felt - but Abe felt friendship for him, desire. There was satisfaction in that.__

But to throw it back at him, to bring it all down to what Abe brought, as if their marriage was to be a business transaction, a list of items on a ledger that they could provide for each other - Sakaeguchi couldn't believe Abe was able to do that. Did Abe genuinely not know how Sakaeguchi felt towards him? The expression on Abe's face led to the realization that Abe must not know, and had therefore concluded, in his own brand of one-sided decision-making, that they must marry others. Truly, Abe believed there was no other way.

Sakaeguchi himself felt a stubborn desire to prove Abe wrong. A few more days. That was the amount of time he had to change Abe's mind, to make Abe understand. 

Abe shifted, his head bobbing, mouth open, and he began to snore. And however angry and sad and shocked Sakaeguchi had been this morning, he couldn't let Abe stay out here. 

Sakaeguchi lifted a hand and gently, light as a moth's wing, hovering, hesitant, curved over Abe's cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin, the smooth planes, the faint scratchiness of stubble. _Abe_. The name was more than a name. It signified a person, all the emotions and all the memories that person elicited. 

Softly, daringly, he said,  "Takaya."  Louder. "Abe." He dropped the hand to Abe's shoulder, heavier. "Abe."

Abe blearily opened his eyes. 

"Come to bed."

A murmured protest, but Abe rose to his feet willingly enough. Sakaeguchi helped Abe to his feet and Abe leaned on his shoulder. It wasn't the heaviness of drinking, but that of a troubled sleep interrupted that caused Abe to stumble up the stairs, and then over the threshold of the bedroom. Abe made to sit in a chair.

"Abe, please, lay in the bed. You'll hurt your neck that way." Sakaeguchi didn't have the heart to mention the incident with the trundle bed.

"I - " he blinked groggily.

"It's a large bed. We can share it," Sakaeguchi invited. "Otherwise, we should take turns. I'll sleep in a chair."

"No, no," Abe said thickly. "I'll lay - the bed is fine." Clumsy with tiredness, Abe stripped down to his shirt and smalls and lay on top of the covers.

That's fine, Sakaeguchi thought. It'll all be dealt with tomorrow. He got into the bed and slid under the covers. He blew out the candle, sitting sadly in its small puddle of wax. He stretched across the mattress, yawned, and slowly slid into sleep to the sound of Abe's steady breathing.

* * *

In the morning, Sakaeguchi slowly came to awareness of the warmth and comfort next to him. He smiled. He didn't want to wake up. He curled further into the very solid, warmth next to him. It moved slightly. Awareness seeped into Sakaeguchi's consciousness, and he slowly moved his leg, bumping into what was almost certainly another leg. Another leg? It was most definitely another bare leg, hairy and muscular. 

Slowly, slowly, Sakaeguchi opened his eyes and looked. He had wrapped an arm about a large chest, he was burrowing into the shoulder and side. He tilted up his head and looked straight into Abe's eyes, which started sleepy but rapidly became alarmed, blushing bright red.

Sometime during the night, Abe had gotten beneath the covers. With him.

Abe jerked and rolled, possibly hoping just to get some distance between the two of them. Instead, he disappeared off the edge of the bed. A dull thud shortly followed. 

Sakaeguchi flopped onto the side of the bed and peered over. Abe had landed on his backside, the hem of his nightshirt pulled crookedly upward, his feet and legs sprawled on the floor. Looking at him, his hair ruffled and smashed flat with sleep, alarm and embarrassment writ all over his face, Sakaeguchi admitted that he found Abe attractive even in this most ridiculous pose. 

Smothering his laughter into the crook of his elbow, Sakaeguchi extended an arm. "You need some help getting up?" 

Abe backed up on all fours then stood, the nightshirt falling down to cover him mid-thigh. "I'm fine," he said. "I'm sorry about touching you - I didn't mean -"

"It's nothing. The bed is not large." This was a blatant lie. They both stared at the bed, Sakaeguchi in a silent apology, Abe as if the cotton and silk and wood had personally betrayed him.

Abe turned his back and went over to the wash stand. He quickly performed his toilette, changed his shirt, dressed, and left.

Sakaeguchi groaned and rolled over into the spot where Abe was laying. There was a hint of warmth and the scent of the man. Sakaeguchi breathed in deeply. The scent struck him deeply, warming his stomach. He recalled the feel of Abe's bare legs against his, and he groaned again, dropping his face into the pillow.

* * *

Sakaeguchi dressed and came down for breakfast. The steady rain outside had led many of the other men to linger over the meal. In the normal course of events, visits to the country would indicate that there would be some kind of hunting or picnicking, or perhaps a drive or a walk. None of those would be possible with the weather.

Several tables had been set up for cards. While some guests played whist, others euchre, vingt-et-un or piquet, still others wrote letters or conversed in small groups. Mizutani pulled out his violin and Hanai took a turn at the grand pianoforte, along with his sisters, who played flute and violin. Miss Fukui Miho stood next to Miss Asuka, playing the viola. Suyama joined Hanai at the bench shortly after the first piece, turning the pages for him.

Sakaeguchi walked over to Abe, Izumi and Hamada. As he approached, Izumi looked irritable and stalked off.

"How is Izumi faring?" Sakaeguchi asked. 

"I imagine he will be better, soon," Mihashi said. 

Hamada didn't respond, merely following the slighter man's build with his eyes as he left the room. 

"Hamada, you all right?" Sakaeguchi asked him. 

"I'm fine, fine," Hamada replied, pasting on a falsely bright smile. 

"Is your arm bothering you?" Sakaeguchi asked. "I'm sorry if I'm presuming on our old acquaintance, but I have heard about your battle injury."

"No, no," Hamada said, embarrassed, shaking his head. "It's tolerable. And calling it a battle injury is doing it up much too brown." He looked over at Mihashi. "He's the one who has more concerns that I do - I'm not throwing a party after all. And I am to wish you and Abe happy. Mihashi told me of your engagement last night."

"Thanks," Abe said, and then excused himself.

"What is happening with Abe today? He seemed even ruder than usual," Tajima said, coming up behind and draping an casual arm over Mihashi's shoulder. 

"I know Mihashi 's antsy because there won't be any cricket today," Hamada said. 

"Izumi as well. Perhaps we all are," Sakaeguchi said, trying to excuse Abe's unusual curtness. Was Abe trying to avoid him?

Stricken, Mihashi held up his hands. "I want to play, but the weather is no good."

"True, the rain is a problem. Mihashi, I have had some thoughts about the your cricket field -" Hamada said, pulling their host off to speak. Mihashi was nothing loath to go.

"So, how's engaged life?" Tajima asked.

"Oh, well. Well." 

There must have been something in Sakaeguchi's voice that alerted Tajima to the falsehood, because Tajima cocked his head and said, thoughtfully, "Oh?"

"Can't be better."

Tajima frowned. "I think it can be." He leaned in. "What?"

"We had a - a little argument before we came yesterday," Sakaeguchi said, mentally defending the statement as not a complete bouncer.

Eyes twinkling, his merry glance taking in most of the room and its occupants, Tajima said, "There's always the peace-making after, which might be reason enough for an occasional fight." 

"I don't know if it was that kind of argument."

Tajima said in a more serious tone, "It seemed like more than just a little argument - with Abe staying up late last night and him now standing as far away from you as possible."

Sakaeguchi closed his eyes for a moment. Briefly, he outlined the fact that Abe had felt forced into the engagement. More than that Sakaeguchi felt he couldn't say. Mostly because saying so would break his heart.

"That's odd," Tajima said. "On so many fronts."

"Why? Abe's never been the kind to stay silent in a situation he didn't like for very long if he didn't have to."

"Well, you don't have to take my word for it, but Abe's been dangling after you since we were in school."

"I don't think so, Tajima," Sakaeguchi disagreed.

"It's true," Tajima said. "Ask anyone. And even if it wasn't true, so what? He did ask you to marry him. He wouldn't have offered if he wasn't going to go through with it. He ain't fickle like that, not the Abe I know."

"He was coerced," Sakaeguchi said, shame-faced. "There's his honor."

"Honor or no - it's virtually impossible to make Abe do anything he doesn't want to do," Tajima said. "I've tried."

"That's not true - I've asked him and he almost never says 'no.'"

"See!" Tajima said, pointing. "I knew it." He leaned his head in toward Sakaeguchi. "Even if he feels coerced, so what? Do you want him? Or not?"

Strongly, Sakaeguchi said, "I do. I do."

"Then now's the the time to stake and keep your claim."

"But what if he doesn't - "

"I told you if he didn't want, he wouldn't have gotten into this engagement in the first place."

"I wouldn't even know how to begin," Sakaeguchi said, helplessly.

"You don't?" Tajima queried, nonplussed. "All you need to do is give him a little - " and he made a quick up and down shaking motion of his half-closed fist. 

"I'm - strictly inexperienced with the carnal side," Sakaeguchi explained, blushing.

"Oh." Then, "Oh!" Tajima's eyes lit up and he grinned, so devilish that Sakaeguchi could see, far more than he had ever before, what the rest of the ton was talking about when they spoke of 'Mr. Tajima's special charm.' He pulled Sakaeguchi in closer. He lowered his voice. "Let me tell you a few things."

* * *

Sakaeguchi had just stepped out of the drawing room when Abe came up behind him in the hallway.

"What were you and Tajima talking about?"

"Nothing of import." 

Abe's mouth moved down angrily. "It didn't look like it."

After ignoring him all day, this was how Abe spoke to him? Sakaeguchi felt a flare of temper. Sakaeguchi leaned forward and placed one hand by Abe's shoulder, crowded him up against against the wall. "Do you really want to know?"

Abe blinked in seeming confusion at the change in Sakaeguchi's demeanor. "Yes." 

Sakaeguchi smiled. "It was particular techniques."

"For what? We all know what Tajima is reputedly good for."

"You mean cricket? Management of farmlands?"

"Did he give you techniques in cricket or farming?" Abe demanded.

"No." Sakaeguchi breathed out of his grin. "He gave me techniques for our impending marriage."

"Such as?"

"With a little experimentation," Sakaeguchi's eyebrows lifted as his volume dropped, causing Abe to strain forward. His lips brushed Abe's ear as he murmured, "He told me _exactly_ the places where a mouth is most effective."

Abe's hands were clenched by his sides as he reared backward, pressing up along the wall. "Why would he be telling you this?"

"Perhaps he felt he was being helpful," said Sakaeguchi. "After all, we are sharing the same bed."

Abe's mouth twisted. "There hasn't been time to tell Mihashi about the bed."

Feeling as though a touch of Tajima's devilry had rubbed off, Sakaeguchi half-shrugged. "I'm in no hurry."

* * *

When Sakaeguchi went to the bedroom, the light of his candle flickered over the covers, he noted the rounded shape in the side closest to the door and the shock of black hair appearing over the edge. 

Sakaeguchi changed his clothes swiftly, climbed into bed, and felt something cold and firm against his side. He lifted up the covers and saw a bolster between Abe and himself. With a choke that was half laugh, half exasperation, Sakaeguchi blew out the light.

In the morning, Abe has already left the bed. Sakaeguchi can't get rid of the impression that he had been held all night, but when he turned, he found that the bolster was still there. As if the bolster had migrated overnight, and Abe had held him, and then upon waking, moved the cushion back. No one would take that kind of care to make sure that their intentions were so misconstrued. Would they?

He dismissed the notion entirely. It was just a foolish fancy, nothing more.

* * *

Breakfast conversation consisted of what to do that day, considering that the ground was too wet for a safe game. Mihashi was noticeably antsier. Perhaps in response to her husband's visible mourning of a cricket-free future, Suzume suggested that the men go out for a walk. 

The grounds around Mihoshi Park were beautiful. The enclosed formal garden was reminiscent of one of the royal palaces. There was a waist-high labyrinth made of hedges, the center of which was a frog pond. There was a duke's ransom of roses. Despite all of this, Mihashi seemed most pleased by a corner of the topiary garden where a large cloth had been hung. The cloth had been drawn upon, carefully sectioned in nine squares. This, he pointed out, was where he and Suzume practiced. Next in pride of place was the large oval where the cricket field was to be mowed when the grass more fully dried.

Haruna and Sakaeguchi fell into step with each other, not through any discernible intent. 

"Sakaeguchi," Haruna said, gruffly. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Sakaeguchi said, cautiously.

"Akimaru told me about about his meeting with you and Abe, where he found out about your upcoming marriage. I wish you very happy."

"Thank you," Sakaeguchi said.

Quietly, Haruna said, "I hope you understand that I would not have told others, had I come upon a situation to remark upon. Which I did not."

Sakaeguchi paused in his walk, looking up at Haruna. The man was still handsome, but there was a weariness in his expression, a humbling of a still formidable ego. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Since our last meeting, at Shizuoka, I myself have come into some circumstances that involved discussion of the value of a honor and its exchange for money. I would not have anyone repeat that."

"I appreciate that," Sakaeguchi said. "But I would have you understand that I have not heard of any such incident."

Haruna appeared startled, and then nodded, tentatively.

"Do you have something to say, Haruna?" Abe said sharply, coming up on Haruna's other side.

"I believe I have said all I need to," Haruna replied, drawing himself up rigidly.

Abe looked ruffled. 

Sakaeguchi slid an arm into Abe's and smiled. Society was small, and one would do well to accept allies when they appeared. One never knew when they might come in handy. "Abe, it is so sweet of you to be concerned for me, but you see there is no need. Haruna was just telling me how he has been this past age." 

* * *

Dinner had been moving along slowly, the courses seemed interminable. Sakaeguchi normally loved being at parties, but for some reason, he could not wait for this meal to be over.

No, not for 'some reason.' Sakaeguchi looked down the table to see Abe walking to Haruna. And Haruna talking to Abe. Sakaeguchi wasn't feeling the ugly urge of jealousy. No. To be fair, it was Sakaeguchi who offered the olive branch, and if he could look past his unruly emotions, he could see Abe was also talking to Mihashi, who was talking to Haruna. 

And then they went to meet with the women in the drawing room. When Sakaeguchi went to the room, he could not see Abe. He slowly circled the room, making small talk, always with an eye out for Abe. 

"Evening," Akimaru said, coming up beside Sakaeguchi.

"Evening," Sakaeguchi replied, with a serenity he wasn't feeling. 

"I'm sorry if there was ever any appearance of impropriety on my part, or any offense was taken during our last meeting," Akimaru said.

"None taken," Sakaeguchi replied.

After a quick look at Sakaeguchi to ascertain his sincerity, Akimaru asked, "How did you do it?"

"I don't understand - " Sakaeguchi's eyebrows drew together.

"How did you get Abe to come up to scratch? I have been setting my cap at Haruna for years and he has yet to give any indication that he is willing to give me a second look, never mind to marry me."

"I don't - "

"Don't be coy. The way Abe looks at you - watching you during the card games and during dinner - you have enspelled him. I have rarely seen the like. He will give you his fortune and take your name, something I would have never thought he would. Not after Haruna."

Sakaeguchi blinked. "But have you no knowledge of Haruna? And his intentions?"

"I have followed him from school to University to polite society and there has been little acknowledgement. I was first afraid that he had eyes for Abe, but it turned out that poorly - "

"I was there," Sakaeguchi murmured.

Akimaru looked embarrassed by the remembrance. "I cannot express to you how much Haruna regrets his behavior of that evening."

"Thank you," Sakaeguchi said.

"Yes, and I was mistaken about the type of regard Haruna held Abe. And when I met you, I understood."

Sakaeguchi blinked, unable to believe what Akimaru must be saying.

"His attentiveness to you, that was something I had never seen in Abe before. And that made me certain of your relationship."

Finally, Sakaeguchi said, "That was a long time ago." 

"I do not see that diminishing," Akimaru said. He looked over Sakaeguchi's shoulder toward the entry of the drawing room. "Oh, there's Abe and Mihashi, Hanai and Izumi. They must be talking about the strategy for tomorrow. You are staying another day, are you not?"

"Another day?"

"Did Abe not tell you?"

"No, I don't believe so."

"Now that the weather has cleared up, Mihashi asked some guests to stay an extra day to play the game he promised. I do believe he wants the game as much, if not more than, the rest of us."

* * *

Sakaeguchi went to bed early this evening. He could not bear the revelation of his own jealousy, his own pettiness. The idea of Abe speaking with Haruna without him, it had driven him mad. Even though he knew he had engineered it, for both their goods. He was fickle and ridiculous. At the very least, he could wipe out the night with its attendant uncomfortable self-awareness through sleep.

Sakaeguchi got up in the morning, noting that Abe still remained in bed. He dressed quietly and went down to breakfast. 

"Good morning!" Hamada said. 

"Good morning!" Sakaeguchi replied. He looked out the window, seeing only clear washes of blue and white in the sky.

"It's a lovely morning for a walk, what do you say? After breakfast?"

"That's a bang-up idea! I'll just get my hat," Sakaeguchi said. He dashed back to the bedroom. Worried that Abe might still be asleep, he carefully lifted the thumb latch and walked in. 

He slipped in, just enough to grab a straw hat on the small table by the door when he heard his name being groaned out loud. He turned his head and froze.*

Abe was flat on his back, head thrown back amongst the pillows, eyes closed. He was writhing, mouth open, groaning, naked except for the nightshirt rucked up to his armpits, the coverlet kicked to the bottom of the bed. Abe was stunningly beautiful, long lines of bone and muscle covered with perfect pale skin and dark hair.

Sakaeguchi watched, helpless, heart thumping, mouth dry, as Abe touched himself. His hands twisted his nipples, sliding down his chest and abdomen. One had grasped the base of his manhood, the other the erect shaft. Then he arched upward, taut as a bowstring. 

Hardening instantly, Sakaeguchi's lips parted in a pant, his eyes avid. He wanted to wait until Abe was done, he wanted to see what Abe looked like when he approached completion, he wanted to absorb everything about him, imagining his smell, his taste, the tension in his arms and legs as he heard Abe utter his name. It seemed too personal, too much to absorb, a visual blow to the solar plexus, and yet he couldn't rip himself away.* 

"Sakaeguchi!" Hamada called from down the hall. 

Panicking, Sakaeguchi grabbed his hat and closed the door behind him as quickly and silently as he could. He turned on his heel, covering the front of his pantaloons with his hat. He waved with his other hand. 

"Hoy," Hamada said, coming up next to him, "is Abe coming? For breakfast?"

"Soon, I am sure," Sakaeguchi said, smiling crookedly. Then he suggested, arm on Hamada's shoulder, "Let's go down and see what Cook is offering this morning."

* * *

Breakfast that morning was a great busier than the previous mornings. Many of the women were awake as well as the men, something unusual for a visit.

"It's a good day to play cricket, don't you agree?" Mihashi said, over his enormous plate of food.

"What are the teams?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"Did Abe not tell you?" Hanai asked.

"I went to bed early," Sakaeguchi demurred.

"He had the list and a strategy." Mihashi frowned. "From what I can remember, the old boys from Nishiura will be a bit broken up for equal distribution but I have neighbors coming who can fill in the spots."

"Oy, we don't have enough players. Are we going to have smaller teams?" asked Mizutani. Even though the breakfast was busier, there were fewer men. 

"No," said Suzume, with a grin. "Women who want to play, may."

"Are you playing, my lady?" Sakaeguchi asked.

"Certainly," she said, an enthusiastic light in her eye. "I shall bowl."

A section of the great lawn had been mowed to create the pitch, infield and outfield of a typical cricket field.

The teams were called up; Abe as wicket keeper, Mihashi and Suzume as bowlers, with Sakaeguchi, Suzume, Oki, Hanai, Izumi, Tajima, Kazuki Kawai, and Miss Fukui Miho making up the rest of that team. 

On the other side; Gan as wicket keeper, Haruna and Takase as bowlers, Akimaru, Haruna, Suyama, Mizutani, Misters Shouma, Natsu, Inoue, Takase, and Misses Hanai Asuka and Hanai Haruka on the field.

Hamada declined a position on either team, citing the damage done to his arm. He stood on one side of the field as an umpire. On the other side stood with Lady Hanai, who held up opera glasses in one hand and a parasol on another. 

It was a glorious summer day, the likes of which came about only a few days during the year. The sky was blue and virtually cloudless, the grass was green and dry, the air a perfect combination of temperature and humidity. It was the kind of day to remember. The kind of day to play a no-holds barred old boys cricket match.

They played a practicing innings, trying to determine each other's strengths and weaknesses. Suzume was the first bowler, her speed would be important to the early part of the game. Mihashi would finish out the game. As a medium pacer, Mihashi would be able to float his pitches, making better use of the ball's spin as it became deformed during play.

Sakaeguchi enjoyed the play of the day, almost more than was seemly. He batted, caught and threw as he hadn't in years. It was almost perfect. Except, or perhaps, because Abe was up to his old keeping tricks. "Abe has such a bad personality," thought Sakaeguchi grumpily. He wondered at his own taste.

Mister Gan, too, had a variety of tricks he employed. Sakaeguchi thought it was an interesting game in that Abe was certain to pick up on those and use them should the opportunity arise.

In the first innings, Suyama smacked a ball hard, and contrary to expectation, it was caught. Miss Fukui Miho pelted across the field, unhampered by her skirts, leaped and caught it in her bare hands. She raised it triumphantly, unconcerned about the enormous streak of grass stain across the pale yellow cotton daydress.

Suyama, startled, had bowed deeply in her direction from his position on the pitch. She laughed and curtseyed in return. Sakaeguchi sighed. He really should have asked her for a second dance. Miss Fukui Miho really was perfect. 

Haruna's bowling was supremely fast. He had somehow gotten faster since Sakaeguchi had last seen him play. His aim, also, had improved. Somewhat. Gan was surprisingly patient with the throws that went wild. Abe would not have been so kind.

The second bowler on the other team was Takase. He relied on his speed, a sinking ball, and a leg break. That last was found out by Tajima, who appeared, if anything, more than delighted to face such a throw.

The end of the game was nigh, everyone knew it. Mihashi's team was trailing ever so slightly against the other team, and everyone was feeling tired. It was the last innings, and Sakaeguchi was mid-way through the batting order. 

Sakaeguchi faced Takase, bat in hand for his last hit. Takase seemed to have slowed down a bit during the day, and Sakaeguchi had wondered about a possible old injury. 

Sakaeguchi saw the long run up, the early release, Takase's surprised expression and then the ball bore down on him. Defensively, he twisted to the side. He wasn't quite fast enough. The impact caused him to grunt and double over, searing pain on his side. 

"Sakaeguchi!" Abe said, rushing at him from behind the wickets. 

"I'm fine!" Sakaeguchi said, straightening. He refused to show Abe that he was in pain. He halted, sweating as the ache began to make itself truly known.

"No ball!" called Hamada, fiercely.

"One run to batting team!" replied Lady Hanai.

"The batter is retired," Abe shouted.

"I can hit again," disputed Sakaeguchi. 

Takase shook his head, his serious face broken by a frown of apology.

Abe grasped Sakaeguchi's arm and tried to lead him off the pitch. "You are retired."

"Abe!" Sakaeguchi said, jerking away. He noticed Lady Hanai had her opera glasses up and was looking at them, pointedly. "I am fine."

Frowning, Abe said, "You're going to have that looked at."

"I will."

Abe paused, seemingly surprised at Sakaeguchi's compliance. "And have a bath. That'll help with the muscle ache."

"Certainly."

"Fine." Abe took a few steps and then turned and came back.. "Right after the game."

"Yes." 

"You will - "

"Yes!" said Sakaeguchi, exasperated. 

A brief chuckle went around the players within earshot.

Abe flushed, but made no apologies as he resumed his position behind the wicket.

* * *

The game ended with Mihashi's team coming in to win with the narrowest of margins. They all trooped into the house, where refreshments were being set out in the drawing room.

Sakaeguchi reached for a portion of watered down elderberry wine with much anticipation.

"No - " Abe announced, taking the glass from his hands. "You're going to the room and taking a bath and a rest."

"Abe," Sakaeguchi said. Then he noticed how the other guests were smiling and nudging each other. "Fine." 

He had just gotten to the door when the first series of servants had arrived with a large wooden tub, many towels, and buckets of steaming water.

After the hipbath was full, Sakaeguchi undressed, prodding gingerly at the tender dark red spot on his side. He settled into the hot water, leaned against the lining towels, hissing a little. He hadn't lied to Abe - he had been still good to run, but his side was sore. He _had_ made good on the extra ball bowled, bringing in 6 runs. 

He settled deeper into the water and covered his face with a damp towel, groaning. This was the end of the trip. He had failed to stop Abe from cancelling the wedding. After this evening, they would get into the carriage and be parted from each other. But what else was he to do? He sank deeper into the water. He heard the door swing open.

"Excuse me," Sakaeguchi said, pulling the cloth off his face. "If I could get some more towels, please?" He turned his head.

Abe stood frozen in the doorway. With interest, Sakaeguchi noted the rising flush of color, the tight grip on the door handle, the dilating pupils. "The - the maid had left, I thought that you would be done," Abe stammered.

"If you could close the door?" Sakaeguchi asked, nervous. 

Abe turned and closed it in front of him, leaving both him and Sakaeguchi in the room. They both realized his mistake at the same time; Abe scrambled to grab the handle again.

Sakaeguchi could hear Tajima's urging in his head. He stood up, naked. "Don't you want to see where I got hit?"

Abe's shoulders hunched, his back still to Sakaeguchi. 

"Abe?" Sakaeguchi said, flushing.

"Forgive me," Abe said, pressing his forehead against the door, his voice unsteady. "I should - I shouldn't have seen that."

Sakaeguchi grabbed his dressing gown, flung it over his still-wet body and went to Abe's side. "I'm sorry," Sakaeguchi said. It was only when he touched Abe's arm that Sakaeguchi realized that Abe was finely quivering.

"Why?" Abe's voice was harsh. "What are you sorry for? For getting hurt? For taunting me?"

"No, no. I want you to see - " Sakaeguchi interrupted himself. "I'm sorry," he apologized again, shrinking inside himself. "I didn't know you didn't want - wouldn't want - "

"I DO want," Abe raised his voice. Then he turned red, fury and guilt running across his face. "I'm the one who's sorry. If only I could control myself more - get over the temptation of being with you - "

Hope rose inside Sakaeguchi. "Abe, there is no need to feel guilty - I would freely give you whatever you want. I want it, too." He took Abe's hand and placed it against his own chest, against the silk brocade, over his own heart, holding it there. "I want this with you."

Abe looked down at his hand over Sakaeguchi's chest, and eyes tracing the frogging that marched down the front of the banyan. His fingers clenched, drawing the fabric under his fingers. Then he looked up, a kind of anguish in his eyes. "I can't do this."

"What?" Sakaeguchi's chest throbbed in hurt. He had offered Abe everything, all of himself. To what end? To finally show himself, to show Abe, just exactly what? "I want this. With you."

"If I do this, I am nothing. I can't do this and leave you. If I do this, then I must marry you. I - I wouldn't be able to let you go. And your self is a gift I cannot take." Abe groaned, as if in visceral pain. Abe dropped his heads into his hands. 

"Abe - please. I told you about the gift of the self was reserved for marriage, but I don't want to let this go between us without - "

"I'm trying to set you free, can't you see that?" Abe shouted. "I want you to go!"

"Abe, I can't go!" Sakaeguchi cried out, as passionate as Abe.

"Leave me already!"

"I can't!" Sakaeguchi looked at him, at the anguish, and felt the returning pain in his chest. "Abe, I can't ever leave."

"Why the hell not? Your blasted honor?"

"No, Abe." Sakaeguchi swallowed. "I thought after Nishiura, and then after University, and that you would go off and marry."

"It was you who would go off and marry! For the sake of your family! Your title!"

"Blast the title!" Sakaeguchi swore. "Are you going to tell me that you know better than I do what I want? And after what you said those cold things about obligation and money and family - do you think that was going to change what I wanted? I know exactly what I want. I've known since forever. I held myself off, because I knew the day you married, the day you married someone else, it would break my heart. I was willing to wait and see for as long as I could, to be with you in any way I could, and then you cancelled the wedding."

Urgently, Abe said, "I want you to have the family you've talked about. I can't give you that. Do you not understand that I want to give you everything I can? That I want to give you anything you desire? That there is there nothing I can give you?"

At Sakaeguchi's stunned silence, Abe continued, first slowly, then faster and faster, "I have this money, and I would give you anything, anything, to get some of your attention, to be worthy of your time. You have made everything in my life better."

"I would do anything to make myself worthy of you - learn gentility, to dance, to court you. I have tried for years, since we were both very young. You were - are - became my lodestone, my guiding star - everything I've ever wanted, everything I've wanted to be. You are forgiving and quick-witted and able to handle any situation." Abe drew a breath. "All I wanted from you, all I've ever wanted, was your notice. It doesn't have to be much - just a sliver of your attention, your magic. All I've ever wanted is knowing that I have made an impact upon you, that you think of me, that you keep me in the smallest part of your heart." He looked anguished. "I didn't want to even leave this party because waking up to you was such a joy. I knew I couldn't do that again. But we had to leave. I can't do that again and walk away from you." 

"I could shake you," Sakaeguchi could feel the tightening in the back of his throat, the impending tears behind his eyes. He choked. "You are the most wrong-headed, aggravating, poorest excuse for a fiance, Abe Takaya."

Abe stared at him, as if he were unable to look away, as if he were awaiting a killing blow, knowing how and what kind of pain it would deliver and was only noting the time of it.

"And I am a fool, because I want you, and only you," Sakaeguchi replied, "You've become the family I want. I desire nothing else. You have had the whole of my heart for nearly as long as I've known you. I love you and I can't think that I'll ever be free of that. I've tried, you see."

Abe's mouth dropped open. 

"How - how - " Sakaeguchi's voice trembled. He could not control it. "How many times must I tell you before you hear? Before you understand and believe? Listen carefully. Abe Takaya, I would give up anything, give you anything for you to care about me."

"How can I give you something which has been yours since we met? I have never cared whether or not you are a gentleman. You are what I want. What I've wanted since forever." Sakaeguchi shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "Don't you know that I would leave everything - the title, the lands, the history - everything, if you only asked? If I even thought that would please you? If I thought that meant you staying by my side always." 

"No, no - " Abe uttered, his voice soft. 

"Yes, yes," Sakaeguchi said, and he knew what he needed to do. This was not the time or the place for any more words. He grabbed Abe's jacket, pulled him closer and kissed him, kissed him with all the love in his heart, all the urgings from all of the lonely nights. He kept kissing him, kissed him like he wanted to when they were boys, and kissed him like the men they were. It was a kiss that soothed, that healed, that expressed everything all the words they had spoken did not - the desire of their bodies, the union of their hearts, their fingers trembling as they touched. Abe responded, his hand lightly touching Sakaeguchi's face.

They pulled apart, looking at each other with renewed wonder and delight. 

"I love you," Sakaeguchi said.

"I love you, too."

"Abe, why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Yuuto," Abe said, his voice low, "I didn't know I could."

"Do you believe me?"

"Yes, yes," Abe said, as a vow, a promise.

*They came together again. Soon, soon, the kiss changed, tenderness becoming a hunger, a great thirst. Sakaeguchi moved to undress Abe, and Abe assisted with his jacket and his neckcloth, and then Abe's hands slipped under Sakaeguchi's dressing robe, sliding over the skin until they rounded over his hips and then gripped as though he were never going to let go. Sakaeguchi walked towards the bed, bringing Abe with him. Their movements were hampered by Abe's desire to strip out of his clothes, and then he got caught in his braces. 

Sakaeguchi laughed and helped, smoothing the braided silk off Abe's large shoulders. Abe pulled his shirt off, Sakaeguchi barely waiting to unbutton the narrow fall front of Abe's pantaloons. The garment slid down his legs and Sakaeguchi inhaled, hard. Eagerly, he reached forward and firmly grasped Abe's hardened shaft while bringing his own head down and licked the underside. Abe shuddered.

Sakaeguchi opened his mouth and sucked the head into his mouth, aware of Abe's scent, the taste, the feel of the firm, soft skin between his lips. Grasping the base of Abe's manhood, he worked his mouth up and down, until Abe put his hand out and stopped him.

"Don't you like - ?" Sakaeguchi asked, looking up.

"Too much," gasped Abe.

Abe sat on the edge, dragging at Sakaeguchi's legs, causing him to sit on Abe's thighs, facing each other. At the last moment, Abe reached out, flipping open Sakaeguchi's robes, pulling them off his shoulders, revealing him to Abe's eyes. The feel of Abe's totally naked body against his own bare skin caused Sakaeguchi to gasp out loud. 

Abe said, gruffly, "You are so beautiful."

Sakaeguchi paused, and said, "You make me so."

"Your hit - "

"My what?" Sakaeguchi asked, confused.

Abe turned his head and looked at Sakaeguchi's side. "Where you were hit."

"I don't care," Sakaeguchi said, pulling Abe up to kiss him again.

They stroked across each other's upper arms, gripping shoulders and the backs of necks as they kiss, biting on necks and collarbones. Sakaeguchi whined, rubbing up against Abe's midsection, thrusting and thrusting, their points of contact becoming slicker with each movement.

"I - "

"A moment." After a whispered instruction, Abe rolled up on his knees up against the headboard. He urged Sakaeguchi to press his own erection between Abe's thighs, up against where his legs met. Sakaeguchi embraced Abe from behind, his arms going around the expanse of muscular back. He bit down on the taller man's shoulder blade, and Abe groaned in pleasure.

"Much more of that and I'll - "

Sakaeguchi gripped Abe's shaft. "You'll what?" He gave the hardened flesh a stroke.

Abe spat into his hand, slicked up his thighs, and squeezed his legs together. Sakaeguchi began to shiver. "Oh." A moment later, a hand upon Abe's hip, he asked, "May I - ?"

"Yes," hissed Abe.

Each thrust was a dream of friction and heat, Sakaeguchi shuddering with each movement, Abe's hand holding him in place. It was supremely inelegant and deliciously intoxicating and there was nothing Sakaeguchi would rather be doing. Finally, finally, he was peaking. Gasping, Sakaeguchi gave a final, hard lunge, and suddenly, he was falling, falling. Dimly, he knew he still had a hand on Abe's manhood, could feel Abe's thrusting against his hand.

Abe's thighs and buttocks clenched, and he gave a guttural cry. Then they plunged downward, landing hard on the cotton-stuffed mattress, the footboard dropping with a clatter, the legs splintering with a bang.

Once they realized what had happened, they looked at each other and laughed. Abe threw his head back and howled until tears came to his eyes.*

"You broke the bed," Abe said.

"No, Abe. _We_ broke the bed," Sakaeguchi said. They laughed some more - until the door opened with a rush, Mihashi, Tajima, Hanai and Haruna at the forefront.

"Sorry - " Sakaeguchi said, not in the least bit apologetic.

"Mihashi - " Abe said, "we broke both your beds, I'll gladly replace them - "

"Are you making a game of this?" Hanai shouted. 

"There's lot of good games you could play," Tajima exclaimed.

"No - no - but if you please," Abe said, "I would appreciate receiving some time to give my fiance and I some time to get dressed." 

The crowd dispersed, helped by a bemused Haruna and an irate Hanai scowling about how he would report this second occasion of scandal to his mother. 

After the door was shut, Abe and Sakaeguchi dissolved into laughter, their naked limbs entwined, in no hurry to disentangle themselves.

"You, sir, are most certainly required to marry me now," Abe said, sounding quite pleased with himself.

"I can get out and on my knees," Sakaeguchi offered. 

"Did Tajima tell you about that thing you did with your mouth?"

Sakaeguchi smiled. 

"I should thank him," Abe noted. 

"I could take him up on his offer about games," Sakaeguchi said.

"I would prefer, that from now on, any and all games be discussed with me and me alone," Abe replied. "And maybe on the way home, we could see what can be done in a coach."

* * *

Epilogue:

Sakaeguchi was sitting in his study in the manor, tea set at his elbow, when a sharp rap on the door heralded its opening. He didn't have any time to respond before Abe came striding in, dressed for a morning ride.

"Morning," Sakaeguchi said.

"Morning," Abe replied, taking a seat near his husband, tossing his gloves and hat on the wooden surface of the desk. He thumped his boots on the corner of the desk with some satisfaction. 

The wedding of Sakaeguchi Yuuto and Abe Takaya was a quiet one, held in a private chapel surrounded only by immediate family. The notice of the marriage was equally restrained. This did not mean that any long-formed habits had changed, for good or for ill.

"Abe." Sakaeguchi looked at the boots.

Abe slowly withdrew them with a sigh, dragging his hat and gloves into his lap.

"Would you like some tea?"

Abe nodded, and Sakaeguchi poured. 

"A letter came. From Mister Sato." Sakaeguchi smiled.

"What did he want?"

"He expresses his felicitations on our nuptials of last month, and granted us the letters of the cancelled debt. His firm has closed its books on this matter."

"Good," grunted Abe, picking up his teacup. 

"He also sent a bill."

Abe rolled his eyes. "He should get that out of the person who cancelled the debt. See if my grandfather had anything to say about it. But, I suppose," he allowed, "as he did do us the favor of pushing along matters, I shall send it to our business man to be settled."

 _Our._ The joint possessive still struck Sakaeguchi with a bone-deep satisfaction.

Lifting dark eyes to Sakaeguchi's own light brown eyes, Abe smiled. He understood that pleasure as well.

"A letter from Hanai has arrived," Sakaeguchi continued with his news. "It appears Mihashi's house party was very much more fertile ground for marriage than the Hanai ball."

"Do tell."

"Apparently, Mister Inoue took such a shine to Miss Haruka, he proposed to her immediately after the cricket match. On the pitch, even."

"Such is the distracting power of sport," Abe noted.

"Also, Miss Asuka has a caught the attention of a suitor as well," Sakaeguchi reported.

"Was it Mister Takase? I noticed he seemed to admire her throw in the third innings at Mihashi's party."

"No. Miss Fukui Miho."

Abe paused. "I had thought she had initially set her cap for you."

"It appears not." They sat in quietude, thinking about the difference a single evening made. Sakaeguchi felt a small kindness to the Fates. Perhaps things really did work out better this way.

A question struck Sakaeguchi, one that had been plaguing him on and off for weeks. "Takaya," he said, and noted the immediate softness the name elicited from his husband. Sakaeguchi made certain that his usage of the name remain limited to personal situations, it was more effective that way. "What did you and my sister talk about when she found us first kissing in the study? Did you talk about the marriage settlement?"

"We did discuss the money." 

"I had a good understanding of it," Sakaeguchi said, nettled. "She could have spoken about it with me in the room."

"She also made me promise to take care of you."

"She would. And I believe you have." A smile grew upon Sakaeguchi's lips. _Very well._

"She asked me if I loved you."

Stunned, Sakaeguchi stilled. "I can't believe she would ask." Then he asked, "What did you say?"

"That I have loved you and longed for your company since our first dance." Abe was carefully looking at the brim of his hat when he said it, spinning it in his hands.

"You - you never said," Sakaeguchi replied, his voice scratchy.

"I thought then, as I continue to think, now, that you are too good for me."

"Abe," Sakaeguchi said. "Takaya." He reached forward and placed his hand upon his husband's, right on top of the hat brim. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

They smiled tremulously at each other, still awed by their position in the safe harbor of each other's hearts.

Sakaeguchi cleared his throat. "And what did you tell my sister that night after the Hanai ball?"

"It wasn't me that caused the trouble that evening. It was you. All that talk about my thighs? That didn't happen in the carriage. That happened in your bedroom while I was trying to undress you and your sister came in."

"What? Wakako came in that?"

"I did try to explain that I was merely escorting you home. It was clear you were helpless." A twinkle entered Abe's eye. "Half-naked and helpless. I was doing my best to be noble and not notice your blandishments. I do think your sister's entrance saved my virtue, not the other way around as she believes."

"You lied to me?"

"I - I - " Abe shifted. "What?"

"You said I spoke about the thighs in the carriage - "

"You did," Abe grinned, wolfish. "On the way back from Mihoshi Park."

Sakaeguchi blushed to the tips of his ears. The drawn curtains on the ride back home covered a multitude of satisfactions. "But on the way from the Hanais' to my sister's house, what happened? I don't remember."

"Oh, you didn't speak so much as you tried to climb up on my lap and demonstrate your interest."

Sakaeguchi let out an embarrassed squeak as he covered his face. 

"You could imagine my surprise."

"I could."

"I couldn't allow you to do that," Abe said. 

"Of course not," Sakaeguchi murmured. 

"So when you spoke to me of your ignorance on these matters - well. I took your word for it. Even though it appeared to me that you were not in the least shy about them."

"I'm glad." Sakaeguchi peeked between his fingers. "I hope that you are sufficiently satisfied with my performance."

"Aye," Abe said, grinning. "Most satisfied. Never more satisfied than I am now."

"You are a true gentleman." Sakaeguchi smiled. 

A knock sounded on the door. Ishiguro stepped through and announced, "A wagon has come from Mihoshi Park."

"A wagon?" Sakaeguchi asked, frowning. "Whatever for?"

"There is some furniture loaded upon it. It appears to be pieces of a broken bed. Or two."

Abe smiled, swinging his leg. "Ah, yes, thank you, Ishiguro. I was waiting for that. If you could arrange for it to be repaired?"

"Certainly, sir." Ishiguro closed the door behind him as he went on his way.

"Whyever would Mihashi send us the bed?" Sakaeguchi wondered.

"I asked him to. I said I would replace the bed only upon receiving the broken parts."

Almost set to bursting, Sakaeguchi grabbed Abe's hand. "Is that the bed?"

Abe smiled. "Do you think setting it in bronze might be too much?"

Sakaeguchi held his hand to his mouth to hide his smile. "A tad unseemly."

"Pity. Well, once it's been repaired, we'll have to find a good place for it."

"Why? Mister Sakaeguchi-Abe, what are you thinking?"

"There have been some good memories on that bed. Might not be a bad idea to christen it once it gets fixed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abe and Sakaeguchi sleeping in the same bed with the pillow came from [this article: bundling or tarrying ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_%28tradition%29) which I'm making a still extant tradition. 
> 
> Trundle beds existed from early on, from the traditions of high nobility that had servants sleeping in the same room to protect them - Pepys mentions a maid using one in 1667. [ Ref.](http://www.homethingspast.com/trundle-bed-truckle-bed/)
> 
> Again, I apologize for bad cricket. 
> 
> [There are a number of differences between cricket and baseball.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_baseball_and_cricket) Among them, "In cricket, bowlers consider the right to hit a batsman as part of their armoury; indeed, one of the most common methods of dismissal (leg before wicket) requires the bowler to hit the batsman's body rather than his bat." This is my way of trying to explain what happens when Sakaeguchi gets hit and his reaction, as well as those of the people around him.
> 
> Ref for bed: http://www.windsorhouseantiques.co.uk/stock/d/a-george-iii-period-mahogany-four-poster-bed/180867/620231


	9. The Wedding (extra scene)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are invited to the wedding of Sakaeguchi Yuuto and Abe Takaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was just thinking about the different kinds of kisses. (A pure indulgence for this author.)

"Do you, Sakaeguchi Yuuto, take this man?" the parson asked.

Sakaeguchi, in his Sunday best of pantaloons and charcoal-colored jacket, smiled across at Abe, who was wearing a new navy jacket. Behind them, in the small stone chapel tucked into the corner of Sakaeguchi manor, stood their immediate families. He smiled, looking at his groom. "Yes."

"Do you, Abe Takaya, take this man?"

Abe's expression was serious as he sought out Sakaeguchi's eyes. In a clear, loud voice, he said, "Yes."

They knelt down, and the parson placed their hands into each other's. Abe's grip was tight. Sakaeguchi looked at Abe's stern mien, and wondered what Abe was thinking. That after these weeks of trial, years of acquaintance, this is now the final configuration of their relationship.

"That which the Lord has joined, let no man put asunder." 

The parson blessed them and said, "I pronounce thee, Man and Husband."

It was only then that Abe let out a great breath and dabs of moisture appeared in the corners of his eyes. Noticing, Sakaeguchi reached out and took his husband's hand in both of his. They smiled at each other; Sakaeguchi confidently, Abe with relief. Both of them with great joy.

* * *

They signed the register, along with the parson and their fathers acted as witnesses. Mrs. Abe, Wakako and Shun had gone ahead to the Great Hall of Sakaeguchi Manor for the wedding breakfast. 

A great spread of tea, coffee and hot chocolate was laid out among the different kinds of rolls, bread and butter, eggs, ham, kippers. At the end, out came a smiling Cook with two different kinds of cake; pound and plum. 

Once everyone had their fill, the guests slowly made their way out to the garden. Wakako and Mrs Abe talked fashion. Lord Sakaeguchi, Mister Yamato and Mister Abe discussed the weather, while Shun tried to seem serious. The children, freed from the nursery, ran about in unparalleled freedom. It was a glorious, glorious day, the white-yellow sunshine flooding in through the windows, picking out the greenest of the foliage, turning all about to gold.

Sakaeguchi was about to follow when Abe hooked an arm through his elbow, halting him.

Quizzically, he looked up into his husband's dark eyes. Abe turned so they were facing each other.

Sakaeguchi tipped his head and asked, "Morning. Husband." He couldn't stop his lips from curving upwards when he spoke. _His husband._

Abe picked up Sakaeguchi's left hand. "Are you sorry there is no ring?" 

Sakaeguchi shook his head. "I know it is not important."

"I would wear one, for you."

"I would also, for you. Even without the ring, we are wed." Sakaeguchi said, "I am most sorry that piece of the vows was not said. It is lovely."

"Still -- " Abe began.

"I believe we will cover the vows in spirit if not verbatim."

Abe thought a moment. "With this ring I thee wed - "

"And with my body, I thee worship." Attempting to lighten the mood, Sakakeguchi quipped, "and I believe we have already - "

"Aye," Abe said. "And I will endow you with all my worldly goods, whether you will it or no."

"I am not worried," Sakaeguchi said. "The register is signed, the deal is done. There is no backtracking now." If there was a trace of concern to be seen on his face, Sakaeguchi was soon to be disabused of any such notion.

"I am yours, and you are mine, now and forever." Abe leaned forward, his lips brushing Sakaeguchi's. It was a light kiss, a sweet greeting. Abe placed both his hands on Sakaeguchi's cheeks. The kiss became deeper, going from one corner of Sakaeguchi's mouth to the other, Abe murmuring his adoration, devotion, constancy. Abe paused, lifting up only to say, "I have heard that this is the best way to seal the agreement." 

Sakaeguchi would have agreed, but he was too busy kissing his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Men did not wear wedding rings in this time period.
> 
> Regency vows were a bit different than the modern ceremony - there were no kisses during the ceremony. [ Ref.](http://christianregency.com/blog/tag/wedding-vows/)


End file.
